Life is Beautiful

Motherhood, Sewing, Family

HOW TO HAVE THICK SKIN Part One

~ SHARING MY HEART WITH YOU

 

I’m a little behind on sharing my Sunday best posts on here, I usually post them every Sunday on my Instagram, so follow along at @sarahtyau on Instagram if you can’t wait. 😉

 

Part 1

sunday best, family photo, asian family, utah family, asian utah familly

 

#sharingmyheartwithyoust I’ve always had thick skin but the older I get the more thick-skinned I become. The older I get, the more I realize that so many things we identify ourselves as or get our self esteem from, comes from the wrong source.

It seems more than ever, people are so quick to get offended over the smallest things and I believe it’s because they have built their self esteem and self identity on the wrong foundation. True source comes from things that are eternal and don’t decrease or disappear over time. So money, appearance, any material things, jobs, political views, none of these are eternal. None of these define our true identity. There won’t be democrats vs. republicans in the after life.

Our outer beauty deteriorates with age and no matter how much money you make here or how fancy your bags or clothes might be, you can’t take even a penny or the underwear you’re wearing to the after life(cue my immature snickering at the word underwear). None of these things are eternal. So when you place your identity and worth on these rocky foundations, it is sure to crumble at some time.

However, if you build your identity on a firm foundation of service, knowledge, kindness, forgiveness, love, and relationships, your identity will never waiver. For those are eternal and you get to take that with you when you die. And it’ll refine and get even more beautiful as time goes by. These are the true sources we should base our identities on.

 

Read part two here.

 

 

BALANCING MOTHERHOOD WITH AMBITION

~ MOTHERHOOD, SHARING MY HEART WITH YOU

 

 

 

Do any of you mamas out there with a lot of ambition struggle sometimes with motherhood? I struggle with it. I just told Jay a few mins. ago, “I would be 1000 times more successful in my career if I wasn’t a mother.” And I truly mean it. I really would be, without a doubt.

A small example is the best time for me to post on here is 9 pm when I reach the most people & get the best engagement. But do I ever get to post at that time? No, I can’t remember the last time I did. It’s 10:30 pm and I’m lying down with my son on his bed to put him to sleep. It’s Summer, it gets dark at 9:30 pm here so we lose track of time, then it’s already 10 when they’re getting ready for bed and I’m a little antsy because I wanted to post a lot earlier but now it’s so late so when we have a family prayer I’m antsy, I’m antsy & eager as I sing to my son, I’m antsy as I tell my kids good night. I get a little resentful at Jay and think how dang lucky he is that he can separate work and home life, how he can focus 100% on his career when he goes to work 8 hours a day + travels to China almost once a month, then he comes home and can leave work aside and focus on our family. With me, I don’t have the luxury to separate my career and motherhood since I work at home without a nanny, babysitter, family, or a maid. People debate which is harder, working moms or stay at home moms but moms who stay home and work while doing both at the same time have it the hardest! But I think single mothers have it the toughest of all so I probably shouldn’t complain. But you know that’s not me so here I am.

I feel I am only giving 35% into my career. I wonder where I’d be if I could give 100%. But then I realize my kids are the greatest career I’ll ever have. They’re my most proud work I’ve ever done and ever will. And I’ll never regret on my deathbed that I wished I posted more at 9 pm on IG or that I only gave my mediocre 35% into my career right now while they’re young & wished I focused less on my children. So I’ll keep giving my 35% & my time will come when they’re older. I can wait. It’ll be worth the wait.

Now your turn, how much do you think you’re giving to your ambition/passion/career?

LET ME DO IT IN PEACE

~ MOTHERHOOD, SHARING MY HEART WITH YOU

 

 

 

 

“Okay, this is the last thing I’m going to do for you and then no more asking, I want to eat in peace afterwards.”, “Not right now, let me finish reading this article in peace and then I will play with you.”, “Let me go to the bathroom in peace, okay?” I’ve noticed myself saying this a lot to my kids lately.

But as I was eating breakfast today and my son kept coming and asking me questions and I was about to sigh and think to myself, ‘I just want to eat in peace.’ I had a thought come to my mind. “What if this chaos became my new peace? I get overwhelmed with the kids wanting my attention all the time and how they never leave me alone and even follow me to the bathroom, but do I really wish they’d stop talking to me and leaving me alone? Isn’t it a good thing that they love me so much that they can never get enough of me? Then since I don’t want my kids to change after all, I can only change my perception. So instead of thinking they’re my constant chaos, I can think they’re my beautiful present. This is my new peace. The peace I have that they’re safe right next to me, we have a close relationship, and they love me so much they always want to be near me. The peace I’ll have for only a short while and it’ll be gone too soon. The peace that I’d do anything to get back for just one more day and wouldn’t trade for any other peace. This will always be my favorite kind of peace.

My previous chaos is now my new found joy and peace.

7 Lessons I’ve Learned as a Mother

~ SHARING MY HEART WITH YOU

 

 

 

 

7 Lessons I’ve Learned as a Mother

 

1. Forget the Pinterest image of a mom nursing in a white, stain-free tank w/ perfect makeup & hair, looking fully rested & starring sweetly at her baby. It’s all a lie! That sweet, harmless looking angel will turn into a piranha the moment a nipple even remotely brushes near their mouth.

2. Love equals sacrifice. You cannot help but love who you serve. This is why a mother’s love is one of the strongest love there is. This is why the scriptures say love your enemies & do good unto them. It’s more for yourself than for your enemies! Because hate or resentment only hurts yourself & you’re giving them power to control your happiness.

3. Motherhood will turn my patient, optimistic self into the most impatient, paranoid, stressed-out self. This is a beautiful change because it means every choice I make & everything that happens to me now affects 4 more people. So not only do I see & feel this life through the eyes of my own, I see & feel this life through 4 more.

4. It’s okay to hate being a mother sometimes. No sane person will say at 5 am, “I just love not sleeping & hearing my baby wail all night & tasting their vomit.” It does not mean you hate your children or that you’re not a good mom. It means you’re normal & sane. So congrats!

5. In that very moment you get annoyed, frustrated, exhausted, angry, yell or completely lose it, you are being perfected. Your capacity is being stretched in that very moment. You’re now a better person than you were a moment ago. So instead of beating yourself up, pat yourself on the back.

6. Your highs will be higher & the lows will be lower. This is because your love will be deeper, hence the fear & the opposition, greater. As you are able to feel the highs much higher, you’ll feel it’s lows much lower. It’s not that the kids made you more angry, guilty or fearful, they have made you more loving, patient & humble. .

7. No matter how much I think I teach, shape & raise my children, they will always teach, shape & raise me way more than I ever would to them. No matter how much I think I sacrifice for them, I’ll always be indebted to them.

 

 

Happy Mother’s Day, my dear friends!

 

I CONSTANTLY FEEL I’M FAILING

~ SHARING MY HEART WITH YOU

 

 

 

when my boy was a baby. oh my heart.

 

 

A friend emailed me today sharing how guilty she feels as a mother, as she started going back to work recently. She told me she feels like she’s failing constantly as a mother and as an employee so this is what I wrote to her and it’s something I needed to hear for myself as well. So I thought there might be someone else that might feel the same way at times.

 

I constantly feel like I’m failing at home and with my blog/Youtube. I think that’s what many mothers feels like, if not all, so we are not alone! I can never give my full attention, passion, time and energy into one thing, it’s always gotta be divided up in many increments and sacrifices made on either side. So I feel I can only give my mediocre attempt at anything that I do. I feel I would be soooo much more successful if I could dedicate all my time and focus into my blog and sometimes it makes me bitter that I can’t. But I make do and motherhood and my blog both gets sacrificed at times. Doing our best in whatever we do in a mediocre way is good enough. It’s actually a sign we are doing it just perfectly, it means we are trying to balance our priorities out! If we did focus all our attention, time and energy into just one thing, we wouldn’t be happy. If we focused everything on motherhood, we’d get burnt out and not feel fulfilled. Nor is it healthy! If we focused everything on our career, it means we are neglecting our family. So giving our best in all the areas we care about, albeit feeling like it’s mediocre and not our all, is a sign we are doing it perfectly! Perfectly imperfect and beautiful. It’s the best we can do and to God, that’s more than good enough for him, it’s all he can ask of us to do.

Think of all the things you do for your kids, you’re a wonderful mom and the kids know you love them with all your heart. That’s the most important thing a mother can do, being a good person and loving their kids unconditionally. The person that you are will shape your kids way, way more than whether one works or not, bottle feeds or breastfeeds, feeds them organic or not, or reads to their kids everyday. You are a very good person and your kids undoubtedly know you love them with everything that you are so you are excelling in those two most important areas which means you are doing it just right! You are a great mother. You are doing it perfectly.