Life is Beautiful

Motherhood, Sewing, Family

Christmas Gift Suggestions

~ SHARING MY HEART WITH YOU

 

Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance, To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity, To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect.

-Oren Arnold

I want to add in my own to that: To others, non-judgement and more giving, To self, stop being your own worst critique but be your best friend/support. To spouses, quit trying to change them to be their past or future potential, but give your whole acceptance exactly as they are in this present moment. To little kids, more gentleness and your complete attention. To the elderly, more respect and a listening ear to their wisdom. To God, giving up our will to do his will, which in return will give us so much more than we could fathom.

We take a break from our Sunday family photos in the winter, because I don’t have the heart to make them stand outside in the cold but it was so warm today! Happy Sunday, friends!

What I Hate Most about Motherhood

~ MOTHERHOOD, SHARING MY HEART WITH YOU

 

 

 

I made my son cry hysterically today. He was whining and talking with attitude in the other room then started freaking out and eventually crying. I thought his whining just accelerated so I  yelled at him to stop whining and take care of it himself, so I can finish my emails.

His crying and hysteria got worse so I finally stomped to the bathroom to yell at him some more when I saw massive blood dripping down his nose, and all over the carpet(yes, we have carpet in our bathroom, do be jealous), toilet, sink, his clothes, everywhere.

 

I was shocked but became more irritated at all the mess I’d have to clean up now and instead of softening, I grumpily told him to lie down as I rolled wads of tissues for his nose. As I watched him trying to calm himself down but with hurt so apparent on his face, my heart finally melted and I apologized as I kissed his sweet face over and over.

 

He told me how hurt he was that I wasn’t even listening to him when he was trying to tell me he got a bloody nose. He said that was why he was crying, that he wasn’t whining, he was scared.

 

My guilt consumed every part of my body as I profusely apologized and kissed him.

 

The most excruciating and the worst part of motherhood for me is not the lack of freedom or free time. It’s not the memory loss I suffer after having kids, nor giving up my fit, toned body I had pre-kids, or all the things I am sacrificing like my career or education.

It is the constant reminder of my weaknesses. The constant reminder that I’m not good enough. That I failed again. That I yelled again. That I wasn’t attentive enough, fun enough, sweet enough, don’t feed them fruit/veggies enough, patient enough, loving enough, not enough. That I should have handled or reacted way better. That my pure and precious children deserve to be treated better, with more grace and calm. That I probably damaged my children mentally and emotionally from my yelling or outbursts or freaking out. That they’ll learn and mimic my bad examples throughout their lives.

I am so tired of it. It is so tiring. It is so exhausting. I hate it. I never feel enough because motherhood reminds me CONSTANTLY of my imperfections.

 

As I drove home after dropping him off at Preschool, my heart aching and thumping loudly from massive amount of guilt and remorse, I had some thoughts come into my mind.

 

1. Everyday, write down or take mental notes of all the “good mother moments” you had. You’ll realize they far outweigh one or two mistakes you made today or any other day.

 

2. Do something that makes you light up everyday. Find that light and make sure to recharge your soul daily. The more you’re charged, the more light you can give to your kids. 

 

3. Jesus atoned for every degree of sin, pain, or remorse, including your pain and the guilt you are feeling now. And even the pain your son felt by your actions. But not only that, it covers complete healing. Atonement encompasses all. 

 

Repent and the pain and the “trauma” you think you caused on your son, will be gone and he’ll be completely healed. This moment will not affect him negatively in any way and he’ll remember them no more.

 

Jesus heals all wounds, hurt and sadness we cause on our children, if we repent, as long as it’s not serious sins or major trauma. It’s a part of the package. There is a reason why kids are so pure, forgiving, loving, and quick to forget.

 

As long as you repent, they’ll no longer remember it. Not talking about really big mistakes and major trauma, we are talking about the little, daily mistakes you make as a mother. Because you’re suppose to make those mistakes. Mistakes are seen more as the path to improvement, in the Heavens. Failing, yelling, losing it, the mom guilt, repenting, trying, you’re doing it just right, that’s exactly how it’s suppose to be. 

 

God is reminding you of your imperfections so you can refine them and become better and stronger. There is no growth in comfort. 

 

But be kind to yourself. You’re excelling in motherhood. Every mother that will read this when you share it, are excelling in motherhood. Believe and know that you are an excellent mother and you are doing it just right. 

 

1. I apologized to my son many, many times and gave him so many more kisses and cuddles than normal. And that “normal” is already a lot! I reminded him again that every time I yell or get mad at him, it’s never him, it’s me. Because I decided to fill my cup with the not-so-good juice and when he bumped it, I spilled the not-so-good juice. If I had filled my cup with good juice, I would have spilled good juice instead. So it wasn’t his fault.

 

I spoke more softly and gently throughout the day and was mindfully more patient. I took him on a lunch date and after eating lunch, he got to eat ice-cream in the car on his way to Preschool, which he thought was the best thing ever. When he got home from school, he was very eager to show me a magic show and while I was the only audience, I made sure I made up for it with my ooh’s and aww’s and the clapping and the cheering.

 

I made the kids a healthy dinner with a lot of different variety of vegetables and then we went grocery shopping and I let the kids pick out any ice-cream they wanted. I was patient the rest of the day and never yelled or lost my patience.

 

The only “bad mother moment” I had was when I yelled at my son this morning. One “bad mother moment” compared to the hundreds of “good mother moments” I had? I think I was a pretty good mom today.

 

2. What makes you light up? What makes you feel alive and present and excited? What makes you vibrant? It could be singing, poetry, reading, swimming, biking, sewing, sports, hiking, being in nature, listening to uplifting music, but whatever it is, find it and make sure to add it to your life daily. The more recharged you are with whatever that lights you up, the more light you’ll be able to share with your children.

 
3. I am still wondering if #3 is true. I want to believe that all the trauma I think I cause my children disappears when I repent and I’m forgiven, but a part of me is still like, really? Is that really true?

But as I was doubting, my daughter came up to me right after that moment and said to me, “Mommy, you are the best mom ever.”

Maybe it is true.

Never My Interruptions

~ MOTHERHOOD, SHARING MY HEART WITH YOU

 

 

Men's shirt refashion DIY

Men's shirt refashion DIY

I was annoyed by my kids all day. I had things to do but with their constant interruptions, I didn’t get it done until after 9pm, when I had it planned for it to be done by 1 pm. I’d be in the middle of my concentration and my 5-year old would spill a box of cereal, get in a fight with his friend, it’s his lunch time so I have to make him food, then get him ready to take him to preschool, constant questions, demands to look at him, listen to him, and play with him in between.

Then when all 3 kids got home, every 2 minutes one of them would come ask me a question or ask me to do something for them, and then 15 mins. before I had to leave to take my daughter to ukelele and then the pumpkin patch, while I was trying to get everything done before I left, Jay called to ask me something and let’s just say I wasn’t all warm and fuzzy towards him.

I can only answer so many questions and listen to so many stories and only do so much for everybody else except for me!!! I wanted to scream out.

My goal to get it done by 1 pm turned to 4 pm, then 6 pm because #momlife ukelele lesson and a fun outing I promised the kids, then 7:50 pm because #momlife I had to make dinner, and then the reality; it got done by 9:20 pm because #momlife tucked the kids in for bed and had a church meeting.

Do you get tired sometimes of the constant demands and the constant, never ending interruptions too?

As I felt frustrated and annoyed at how my schedule and my career suffers greatly because I’m a stay at home mom, I was reminded that my children, my family are never my interruptions, everything else is. It’s hard to remember in the midst of a due date or assignments and I’m still working on it but I know the truth is, they’re my main purpose in life and the biggest accomplishment I could ever achieve, and my most proud work I will ever do.

They’re my main focus and everything else is the distraction. #sharingmyheartwithyou

Meakness is Not a Weakness

~ SHARING MY HEART WITH YOU

 

 

meakness is not a weakness

We were too hungry to wait for dad for our #tyausunday

 

After learning about the definition of meekness today, it has now become one of my biggest goals in life, to become a person of meekness.

“The Christlike quality of meekness often is misunderstood in our contemporary world. Meekness is strong, not weak; active, not passive; courageous, not timid; restrained, not excessive; modest, not self-aggrandizing; and gracious, not brash. A meek person is not easily provoked, pretentious, or overbearing and readily acknowledges the accomplishments of others.

Whereas humility generally denotes dependence upon God and the constant need for His guidance and support, a distinguishing characteristic of meekness is a particular spiritual receptivity to learning both from the Holy Ghost and from people who may seem less capable, experienced, or educated, who may not hold important positions, or who otherwise may not appear to have much to contribute.” -Elder Bednar

I truly believe every person I will ever meet in this world has something they can teach me. I feel I’m always the one holding the mike on this platform so I want to turn the microphone over to you! I want to hear what’s in your heart, any wise words, your favorite quote, scripture, story, life lessons, anything! I want to learn from YOU! So don’t be shy, share with me what’s in your heart, I’d love to hear it.

The Thing About Difficult People

~ SHARING MY HEART WITH YOU

 

 

 

Have you ever had to deal with a difficult person in your life? I was thinking recently about all the difficult people I had to deal with throughout my life. People who annoy me, make me angry, make me frustrated, who tests my patience, people I had to forgive numerous times, people who’s actions bother me greatly, or people whom are very hard to love.

As I was thinking about all these people, I started to get annoyed again but then this thought came to me. ‘These difficult people are your greatest teachers.’

As I pondered this for awhile, my annoyance or dislike towards them was replaced with humility and gratitude. It’s easy to love people whom are easy to love or who love you. That’s just a natural reaction, it doesn’t require any strength or character to do that. But show me how a person treats their enemies or a person they think they’re above than, and I’ll show you their true character.

There’s not much qualities gained in us from people that are easy to love, easy to get along with. But the qualities that strengthen us in every positive way, comes from the difficult people. So I am grateful for all the people that were difficult to get along with, or difficult to love, for they have been my greatest teachers. And I thank them for that. Have you had to deal with someone difficult? #sharingmyheartwithyoust .