“Okay, this is the last thing I’m going to do for you and then no more asking, I want to eat in peace afterwards.”, “Not right now, let me finish reading this article in peace and then I will play with you.”, “Let me go to the bathroom in peace, okay?” I’ve noticed myself saying this a lot to my kids lately.
But as I was eating breakfast today and my son kept coming and asking me questions and I was about to sigh and think to myself, ‘I just want to eat in peace.’ I had a thought come to my mind. “What if this chaos became my new peace? I get overwhelmed with the kids wanting my attention all the time and how they never leave me alone and even follow me to the bathroom, but do I really wish they’d stop talking to me and leaving me alone? Isn’t it a good thing that they love me so much that they can never get enough of me? Then since I don’t want my kids to change after all, I can only change my perception. So instead of thinking they’re my constant chaos, I can think they’re my beautiful present. This is my new peace. The peace I have that they’re safe right next to me, we have a close relationship, and they love me so much they always want to be near me. The peace I’ll have for only a short while and it’ll be gone too soon. The peace that I’d do anything to get back for just one more day and wouldn’t trade for any other peace. This will always be my favorite kind of peace.
My previous chaos is now my new found joy and peace.
Cristen Blades says
I have read several posts and it is blowing my mind how you seem to be writing exactly how I’ve been feeling since becoming a mother! I want to thank you for being brave enough to voice some of the socially unacceptable parts of motherhood. I have been doing some major personal growth work lately and you have inspired me to continue becoming more authentic and true to who I really am. It is scary to say what’s REALLY on your mind sometimes, especially once you take on the sacred role of “Mama”, so thank you for having the courage to do so. Motherhood is certainly filled with incredible highs and lows. There is infinite talk about the joys and very little genuine conversation about the misery. I never thought I could love somebody so much until my children came into my life. They are so very important to me. However, like you, I often find myself wishing for more time for myself. Thank you for making me feel less alone in this season of my life.
Sarah says
Cristen, I appreciate your comment so much! What you said is the EXACT reason why I share these moments, to let mothers know that it is completely normal and that we are still good mothers! I remember the first time I hated being a mother(hating all the hardships of motherhood but never hating our kids, of course), I felt so guilty and thought I must be the worst mom ever. Because no one talked about the hardships!
Jo-Jo Murphy says
If we do not ask for what we need, how will we teach our children to do so?
If we do not say that we sometimes need privacy, a quiet moment, or a closed door, how will our offspring know that boundaries are okay, saying no is acceptable, and asking for these to be respected is an important bit of communication?
The world will be more harsh in teaching our young ones vital lessons. Let us model strong, self-loving behavior for them.
P.S. Moms are learning alongside their kiddies.