Life is Beautiful

Motherhood, Sewing, Family

Mastitis and now Thrush? What the heck!?

~ Etc.

Photobucket This is supposedly a picture of a man breastfeeding. What the?! Hmm moving on…

When I got home from the crab incident, I couldn’t wait to feed Ariana to relieve the pain. I kept trying to wake her up but she wasn’t, so I started pumping…and that’s when it hit. All the sudden my breasts started feeling very very very painful wait let me rephrase that, my breasts started feeling VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY VERY painful and I had tears coming down my eyes. Then I started shivering and never felt such intense coldness and chills in my entire life. I didn’t know what was wrong with me and it scared Jay too and after about an hr. of me covered up in 3 blankets and curled up in a ball shivering on the couch and getting worse by the minute, Jay told me I should take a hot bath. I didn’t want to move even an inch but Jay got the bathtub all ready and he helped me wobble downstairs to the bathtub. As soon as I went in the hot water, I felt much better but soon I ran out of all the hot water and our drain plug leaks a little so the water was getting colder and sinking lower. And sweet sweet Jay. For the next hour, he microwaved and boiled water using all our 4 burners in big pots while holding Adalie in one arm, and then he ran back and forth from the kitchen to our bathroom pouring the hot water into the tub. I got teary eyed as I watched him running back and forth, sweating, out of breathe and obviously getting so tired. Wow I have the sweetest husband ever. I love him. After a hot bath and some Tylenol I felt much better and thought it was soon going to be over. But boy was I wrong. That night, I slept maybe for an hr. as I woke up constantly from being so freezing cold, sweating, a high fever, a throbbing migraine, and to feed Ariana. I googled my symptoms and turns out I had Mastitis. I had to keep breastfeeding even if it was so painful and it was PURE MISERY for the next 6 days. The very next day on Tuesday I called my Dr. and got a prescription for antibiotics and started taking it right away and thought I would feel better within a few hrs. but no, it took me 6 days to feel better. I wish none of you will ever have to experience it. It was the worse sickness I’ve ever gotten. No wonder why my mom said I shouldn’t go out for a month. I should’ve listened to my mother! Jay talked to a Dr. and he told him the main cause of Mastitis is lack of sleep. He said too many mothers don’t nap while their kids nap because that’s the time they feel like they can do things but the best thing mothers can do is to nap while their kids nap. Skipping a feeding is only the tip of the cause of Mastitis. So breastfeeding mothers, here are the do’s and dont’s of what I found out through google, and talking to doctors and nurses. Trust me, you do not want to experience what I had to go through.
1. Get adequate sleep or as much sleep as possible. 2. Avoid skipping a feeding or not feeding for a long time. Pump or feed regularly. 3. Avoid tight clothing on top. Avoid tight bras with wires that dig in to the side. 4. Avoid going out for awhile after giving birth. Let your body rest and help adjust to the new regimen.
And thanks to all the mothers who texted and called me. I texted bunch of mothers asking them if they’ve ever had Mastitis, wanting to make sure my symptoms were indeed because of Mastitis and within mins. I had numerous calls/texts. Thank you. You know who you are. 🙂
So this post was suppose to end there. But NO it continues. Starting last Saturday my nipple started getting very sensitive and sore. I noticed a crack on one side and by Sunday there was a crack on the other side as well. I noticed that they were very pink and red and also around it. I thought since Ariana sucks so hard she bit a part and ripped it. Well, the pain is getting worse and it is so bad that I was tempted to stop breastfeeding and googled “Should I stop breastfeeding”. I read;

“If you attempt to wean the baby against its wishes, it will naturally retaliate as it enjoys the taste of mother’s milk and it likes the warmth and emotional closeness of its mother. While drinking breast milk, your baby’s blood pressure comes down, its heart rate reduces and its stress level drops. This is good for the baby’s health. There are far too many advantages of breastfeeding than attempting to stop breastfeeding…”

K, that’s how far I read. FINE! I won’t!!! My Goodness!!!

It takes me at least 5 mins. to get enough will power to have her latch on. She will lie on the boppy for 5 mins. fussy, sometimes crying but I need that time to get ready emotionally. And when she latches on, for the next 20-30 secs. which she sucks the strongest, trying to latch on, I shut my eyes tight and just wince and wimper like a little girl while waiting for her suck to be not as strong. It still hurts after for the whole feeding but it’s about 10% less pain. It is sore throughout the whole day too but it is nothing compared to the pain while feeding.

So I googled(thanks to Google, I can play doctor and diagnose my own symptoms, isn’t that great?), and I have THRUSH. Thrush you say? Yeah I’ve never heard of it either until now. I keep calling it thrust it is such a foreign word to me. It is an yeast infection inside the baby’s mouth that shows up as cottage cheesy milk curds on the tongue or the sides of the mouth. I have noticed Ariana having this white curd looking thingy on her tongue but I thought it was just a milk residue. I got antibiotics while giving birth to her and that caused the imbalance by killing off the “good” bacteria. So she gave it to me through breastfeeding and TA-DAH I got THRUSH!!! Woo hoo!

I called my friend who had the yeast infection/thrush and confirmed my symptoms with her and yes I have it all. I also called a Pharmacist and upon googling some more, I need to get a oral fungal medication to rub it inside her mouth and also some cream to rub on my nipples so that we won’t pass the infection back and forth to each other.

I have to be honest, I did get a little teary eyed as I got off the phone and realized it wasn’t because Ariana was sucking so hard. It’s another sickness/infection whatever you call it. When is it going to end? Morning sickness/recovery has been so much harder with my second child than the first. Mastitis was miserable and now Thrush? My mom told me it’s best to wait 2-4 yrs. after you have a baby to give it time for your body to heal. Well, I got pregnant 8 months after my first baby and yeah my body is taking it pretty hard. So you mothers who are not already pregnant, wait 2-4 yrs. after you have your baby!
Well, just like Mastitis, I do not wish Thrush upon anyone so here are some tips/suggestions I gathered from my friend who experienced it, google, and pharmacist.

1. Change your breast pad often. Bacteria grows in damp, moist areas. (it makes me almost faint to think the crack on my nipple is due to the bacterias growing on it! EWWWW!!!!!)
2. Air dry your nipples after breastfeeding.
3. Avoid giving unnecessary antibiotics to the baby.
4. If both you and the baby have it, treat the infection on both of ya’ll so you won’t keep passing it to each other.

On the bright side, Mastitis was WAY worse than this since it also came with a fever, chills, and a migraine. BUT I do gotta say this hurts a lot more when breastfeeding. Talk about pain. WOW. the sharp pain shoots all over as you feed. It feels as though thin needles are swimming all over the inside of your breasts the whole time while you feed. Oh wait I’m talking about the bright side. Baby’s sleeping better, I only had to hold her for 1 1/2 hrs. last night until she fell back asleep. She stopped the being awake for 6 hrs. thing. Oh and I’m getting Mirena in about a week! I’m actually so stoked/ecstatic for this. It will leave me pregnant-free and worry-free for 5 years! Whoop whoop!

What I wish nurses/doctors or ANYBODY had told/warned me.

~ Etc.

The first 3 days Ariana came home she would sleep all day long but somehow magically stay up all night for 6 hrs. straight usually between 12a.m-6a.m. She would poop on an average of about 13 times a night so literally for 6 hrs. I would feed her, she would fall asleep while sucking, she would poop so I would change her and while changing her she would wake up and want to suck again, she sucks, falls asleep, poops, wakes up while getting changed, sucks, falls asleep, poops, wakes up, sucks, falls asleep, poops, wakes up….you get the point. FOR SIX HOURS I TELL YOU! Oh my goodness it was miserable. One night I was so angry I even said a curse word out loud. GASP! I know, I felt terrible afterwards and I told Jay and my cousin Ginny & Colby but they didn’t even believe me.

On one of those sleepless, exhausted, sleepy, frustrated, angry nights I thought of all the reasons why I am so done having kids and I made a mental note to write down all the things I had forgotten about that comes with the pregnancy, labor, and recovery. You really do forget it all, until right as you’re experiencing it again! It’s amazing!

There are a TON of things you forget about. Pretty much all the bad things. But right now all I care about is what I’m experiencing now. Why doesn’t ANYBODY tell you any of these things?

-NO ONE told me how painful it is while your body is getting milk to feed to your baby. You get hard knots all over your breasts around 2nd, 3rd day of giving birth that’s as hard as a rock. It hurt me starting on my chest all the way to my armpits that I couldn’t even lift or move my arms without hurting.

-NO ONE told me that breastfeeding hurts. BAD. And when these babies clench on to your what’s already so sensitive…with such a powerful suck…WOW. Don’t let the no teeth fool you. And don’t think the second time around will be any better. I think with Ariana it was worse since I got more milk faster and more easily since she is my second child. (More kids=more milk) since your body has done it before so is better at it.)

-NO ONE told me you’ll have contractions while you breastfeed. They’re just as painful as the real contractions while in labor. Ok maybe not AS bad but it’s pretty close and when you think your contractions are finally over when all the sudden you feel it…again…yeah it’s not a pleasant surprise. These lasted me about 3 days. The pains would start in my stomach and shoot down all the way down my legs to the ankles. I teared up everytime.

-The uncomfortability(I think I just made that word up) of episiodomy. It is more uncomfortable than painful even though it has its moments when you bend down, sit down, or go to the bathroom. It feels like you have a wedgie constantly until you realize it’s the stitches and there’s nothing you can do about it except wait for the stitches to dissolve. A constant wedgie is what anyone could only dream of. So fun.

-NO ONE told me you’ll bleed for about 3 weeks so you’ll be wearing a pad for that long.

-A month after giving birth to Adalie, Jay treated me to go get a one hour body massage and as I was signing the papers, I felt blood gushing down my pants. It took me by surprise and I hoped no more would come but it kept coming. At first I thought I lost control and peed my pants because it was with that amount as if I had to pee really bad and I released it. Shocked and scared, I asked them where the bathroom was and walked speedily down the hall. When I got in the bathroom, I had blood all the way down to my knees(thank goodness I was wearing a long coat), blood soaking through my jeans. I was still gushing blood down there so I sat down on the toilet and for the next 30 mins. while crying, I just watched as blood just kept pouring down. I think I bled about 2 galloons. I was horrified and scared. Was I going to die from all this loss of blood? What was wrong with me? I called the doctor and without any concern or sympathy in his voice he casually told me that was completely normal. “TO BLEED 2 GALLOONS OF BLOOD??” I asked him. He said it was completely normal, that I could expect it to happen again once or twice more and that I should only worry if I was bleeding like that for longer than an hour. In disbelief I hung up the phone. Jay had to come get me and I walked out wearing his basketball shorts and told them we would have to reschedule.

This doesn’t happen to everyone just FYI. I think for most people, they don’t experience this.

I wrote this post awhile back and right now it’s almost 3 am and Ariana’s been sick the past 3 days with a runny/stuffy nose/cough/sneeze. She’s been sleeping fairly well but of course she picks this time to stay awake out of all other times. She’s been crying for the last 4 hrs. I tried holding her, feeding her, burping her, changing her, singing to her but no use. So I just put her down on my side and I just read this post. To keep my sanity and to read about all the reasons why I shouldn’t want anymore kids because within that short time, I forgot again. But why is it that at 3 in the morning, so fatiqued and sleepy with a baby crying by my side, I still want more kids?

These darn kids. I love them more than any discomforts they may bring me. But don’t test me Heavenly Father. Please. 🙂

Emotional Melt-down

~ Etc.

I just had a melt-down a couple hours ago. I am all better now, it happens to me once in a blue moon since I’ve become a mother. I would say this was probably my 4th time breaking down in the last 16 months I’ve been a mommy so it comes once every 4 months statistically speaking which is okay I think. I don’t have depression or anything. I think…nah. I’m normal right? Or am I the only one that feels this way sometimes…

It all started with putting Adalie to sleep. We were too weak sauce to let her cry it out so ever since she’s been born, we have been lying by her side at night and sneaking out ever so sneakishly out of the bedroom without waking her up. If she does happen to wake up and stir, we jump back on the bed at the speed of lightening and pretend like we never left the bed. And this ritual goes throughout the whole night. If she wakes up at 1 a.m and we’re still awake, one of us runs to the bedroom to lie by her side until she falls asleep again. For those of you with a newborn or soon to be mothers, DO NOT do what we did. It is a HUGE NO NO!!! Here we are 16 months later spending about 3 hours a day trying to put her to sleep, an hour each for 2 nap times during the day and one hour at night. Jay sleeps with Adalie in our bedroom and I sleep alone in the basement. (Adalie does not sleep well if I’m next to her for some reason. She loves to play with my hair and she’ll just play with it for hours and hours instead of falling back asleep! It drives me insane!)

So tonight was no different than any other night, we bathed her, fed her milk and I lied down with her to put her to sleep(Jay and I take turns each day), sang her some primary songs while scratching her back, and giving her a full body massage and scalp massage(yeah she’s spoiled, I wish I got the same treatment). She fell asleep within 5 mins.(hallelujah!) and I stayed another 15 mins. to make sure she was in a deep sleep before leaving the bedroom. Then I changed into my grunge clothes and went upstairs to help Jay paint our bathroom and bedroom(we’re getting carpet, new tile, sink, cabinet, walk-in closet all by this Monday whoop whoop). Everything was going good and Jay had to sweep the floor which must’ve been loud because Adalie woke up and started crying. So I went down to lie down with her, hoping it wouldn’t take her long to fall back asleep. 10 mins. 20 mins. 30 mins. 40 mins. 50 mins. one hour, one hour and 10 mins. one hour and 20 mins. later she is still freakin fiddling with my hair and moving every 3 secs.! By this time I lost all the patience I had and started using my serious, scary voice to tell her, “Adalie, GO NAI NAI.” She would quickly lie back down and pretend to close her eyes only to open it back up 2 secs. later and get up again. “ADALIE. GO NAI NAI NOW. IT’S YOUR BEDTIME.” Same thing over again. Oh my gosh, I don’t know why but I HATE HATE HATE it when she does this!!! AHHHH!!! It makes me so angry! ARGH!!! I’m getting mad again just by telling the story!!!

Ok, calm down Sarah. Deep breath. Whew. So I just get up and walk out of the room while Adalie behind me starts whining and crying and I get mad at Jay. Yep, I blame him for sweeping the floor and tell him how I absolutely HATE it when she does this. Jay goes in the room and comes out 25 mins. later as Adalie is still fussing and crying. So we let her cry it out tonight. It lasted only 15 mins. Thank goodness or we would’ve gave up like we always do. Sigh.

Then I check my phone which I haven’t done for the past 6 hours and it’s bunch of missed calls and texts from my friends. One wanted to go out to dinner with her husband, Jay, me and Adalie. I would’ve loved to talk on the phone and catch up with my other friend who called. Then I got in a pissier mood because I would’ve loved to go out to dinner or catch up with my friend. Then I think about all my friends and married friends who have no kids(which are about 95%) and think about how they have no obligation or responsibility of a child and can do whatever they want whenever they please, be spontaneous, irresponsible and fun. My fun consists of going to a puppet show every Friday morning with my daughter. Oh and doing my weekly grocery shopping. That’s about the only times I get out of the house on a structure basis. My single friends always ask me, “What are you doing today?” all excitedly and I want to say, “Well, my plans are to do 2 seperate loads of laundry, one white and one dark, then fold them and put it away, to wash the dishes, fix food for Adalie and feed her every 3-4 hrs., clean up her mess and wash more dishes, read to her, change her poop diapers twice, pee diapers every 2-3 hrs. or so, entertain her constantly and play with her, feed her milk and put her down for two naps, when she wakes up, to feed her juice, fix a meal, feed her, plan a dinner menu for a week and make a grocery list and look up all the recipes, pick up Adalie’s toys/spills/messes she makes throughout the day, clean the toilet, the sink, the mirrors, the carpet, the countertops, it’s pretty much the same exact schedule every single day.”

But of course these things are not considered “plans”, it’s just a daily chore that’s boring to tell. So I say, “Oh nothing much, oh I do need to go grocery shopping. I think that’s about it.” No wonder why people think being a mother is so easy huh?

Being a stay at home mom is by far not the most exciting, glamorous job. It gets VERY mundane. Am I gonna get struck by lightening for saying that? Maybe. Do I even bother to take a shower or put on make up in the day? No way. I attempt to look half descent right before my husband comes home, oh wait, that was before I was pregnant and tired with no energy, never mind.

So being over 9 months pregnant and not getting out of the house much except for grocery shopping, a puppet show at the library and walks right outside our house, I exceeded my limit. Jay and I seriously need to do date nights every week oh never mind, we’re gonna have our second child any day now. My highlight of the week is waking up on Tuesday and realizing I have a whole new episode of The Bachelor I tivo’ed the night before. Other than that my excitement level is at the lowest as I stay at home all day and then end the night with surfing the internet or watching HGTV.

I have been so anal and moody the last week or so. Is it because I’m 9 months pregnant and SO ready to pop out this baby? Did any of you other mothers get really moody too? Is it because I hardly get a good nights sleep due to the immense uncomfortability? Is that a word? I feel so bad for Jay who has to put up with me and he is so sweet despite my moodiness and pessimism. I always prided myself in the fact that I was very optimistic but I’m one of the most pessimistic people I know ever since I’ve gotten pregnant and became a mother. Something little happens and I think the world is over. Literally. Before, I would’ve laughed and thought it was funny in some way. Who am I becoming…?

So really, am I the only mother out there that feels this way? That sometimes the mundane life of a mother gets to me and I want to scream and get out? Does that make me a horrible mother?
But then as soon as I see Adalie, it all melts away? Just by typing that and thinking about her I am no longer bitter or angry one bit? And I realize all of this insanity is worth it because she is so darn cute and I love her to death? Literally?

Get outta my belly!

~ Etc.

I have 10 more days to go…the due date says. Can I just tell you how done I am with the pregnancy? I can’t bend and reach further than my mid-thigh, so imagine me trying to take a bath and washing my legs or feet(oh forget about shaving)or trying to put lotion on my legs or bending down to pick up anything on the floor. I wobble wobble more than a pregnant penguin, even until a month ago I would try to attempt to walk gracefully as I made sure I didn’t bounce from side to side or up and down and walk like a floating angel but forget that too. I just gave up and since my belly is so enormous and it’s out there for everybody to see, I wobble and bounce sideways and up and down ALL I want. I even put my one hand on my back like an old grandma for support so I can wobble some more.

I have literally 4 outfits I wear over and over again because that’s all that will fit me and I might find more outfits if I dig in my closet but I hate deciding and picking out what to wear since I know I won’t look cute anyway. Walking up from the basement to the main floor gets me out of breath and I have to sit down when I make it up to rest my legs and catch my breath. Doing little chores such as picking up Adalie’s toys gets me exhausted after 2 mins, and even folding laundry sitting down gets me out of breath too. When I try to sleep, I have to lie down on the bed at a certain exact angle(precisely 85 degrees), if my body is leaning too towards my back, the belly weighs heavily on me and if I lean too close to my belly, my baby gets squished. I am so tired the whole day and when I attempt to go to bed early like last night at 9 p.m, I woke up just before midnight and couldn’t fall asleep until 4 a.m. I have a little cold but nonetheless waking up at 3, 4, 5 a.m and not being able to fall back asleep because my belly is so huge and uncomfortable is unavoidable.

I wasn’t eager to have the baby out since I know it’ll be so much harder than it is now, but that’s it, I’m done! COME OUT ALREADY!!!

K, I feel a little better now. And I smell the yummy scent of my pumpkin bread baking in the oven so that helps too. 😀