So yes you read my last post about me being a cry baby due to my crazy hormones of the pregnancy but here is another one…that happened just a couple hrs. ago that made me bawl like a baby. I haven’t cried this much in a long time!

Today was the Primary sacrament program and Jay had to sit on the podium with the primary kids since we’re the teachers. I had to tend to the baby so I sat in the middle of the chapel with Adalie right behind this grandma of maybe in her 70’s or 80’s. A few minutes into the program Adalie let out a short little fussy cry that was literally one second long and this old lady turned around sharply and looked at Adalie. I didn’t think much of it since the noise Adalie let out wasn’t that loud or long and thought maybe she just wanted to look at her because she was cute. About 5 mins. later Adalie let out a frustrated, semi-loud scream that was maybe a second or two longer than the first one, and the grandma turns around again very sharply, looks right at me and yells out, “For heaven’s sake! Make the baby be quiet or get out of here!” She said it pretty loud and everyone around us heard and all turned to look at us. My first reaction was, “Whoa, calm down…” as I said “sorry…” and patted Adalie and whispered to her to be good. This mother sitting next to me put her hand on my shoulder and just patted my shoulder as if to say, “Don’t worry about that lady.” and gave me a warm smile. I smiled back at her and my eyes watered up a little but I tried not to think about it and just tried to pay attention to the program.

My mind kept coming back to it however and my eyes welled up again and then I thought, “Wow and I’m going to have two babies under two soon, how am I going to come to sacrament every week?” and the tears started dripping and soon enough it was dripping down faster and faster. I tried to stop crying and said to myself over and over again, “I’m not going to cry over this stupid thing, it’s not that big of a deal.” But nevertheless the tears just kept coming down.

I wished Jay was next to me right then to comfort me but then I thought again and changed my mind because when I later told him what had happened he said to me, “I would’ve slapped her face so hard her ear piece would’ve been stuck inside of her ear forever. I don’t care she’s an old lady!”

The mother next to me took Adalie, pretending to not notice that I was crying and played with her as I just sat there with my head down, pretending to look for something in the diaper bag for about 10 mins., as tried to wipe the tears off discreetly. then i gave up pretending to look for something in my diaper bag and put my head down and just cried. I was embarrassed that I was crying over this little thing, embarrassed that people around me were seeing me cry. But the tears never stopped, and I cried throughout the whole sacrament, cried more when the sacrament was over and the mother next to me gave me a hug and told me it was okay, cried some more when the grandma after being told by the mother next to me that I’ve been crying this whole sacrament because of what she said, apologized to me and asked for forgiveness, cried when Jay came and saw my puffy red eyes and asked what was wrong, and cried even louder and wailed like a baby as I drove back home.

So as Jay is teaching the primary kids right now I’m at home and even though I want to go back to church I can’t because my eyes are so puffy, I don’t want to draw more attention to myself. So here I am blogging. Thank goodness for blogs. 😀 It is therapeutic in some way.

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