The first 3 days Ariana came home she would sleep all day long but somehow magically stay up all night for 6 hrs. straight usually between 12a.m-6a.m. She would poop on an average of about 13 times a night so literally for 6 hrs. I would feed her, she would fall asleep while sucking, she would poop so I would change her and while changing her she would wake up and want to suck again, she sucks, falls asleep, poops, wakes up while getting changed, sucks, falls asleep, poops, wakes up, sucks, falls asleep, poops, wakes up….you get the point. FOR SIX HOURS I TELL YOU! Oh my goodness it was miserable. One night I was so angry I even said a curse word out loud. GASP! I know, I felt terrible afterwards and I told Jay and my cousin Ginny & Colby but they didn’t even believe me.
On one of those sleepless, exhausted, sleepy, frustrated, angry nights I thought of all the reasons why I am so done having kids and I made a mental note to write down all the things I had forgotten about that comes with the pregnancy, labor, and recovery. You really do forget it all, until right as you’re experiencing it again! It’s amazing!
There are a TON of things you forget about. Pretty much all the bad things. But right now all I care about is what I’m experiencing now. Why doesn’t ANYBODY tell you any of these things?
-NO ONE told me how painful it is while your body is getting milk to feed to your baby. You get hard knots all over your breasts around 2nd, 3rd day of giving birth that’s as hard as a rock. It hurt me starting on my chest all the way to my armpits that I couldn’t even lift or move my arms without hurting.
-NO ONE told me that breastfeeding hurts. BAD. And when these babies clench on to your what’s already so sensitive…with such a powerful suck…WOW. Don’t let the no teeth fool you. And don’t think the second time around will be any better. I think with Ariana it was worse since I got more milk faster and more easily since she is my second child. (More kids=more milk) since your body has done it before so is better at it.)
-NO ONE told me you’ll have contractions while you breastfeed. They’re just as painful as the real contractions while in labor. Ok maybe not AS bad but it’s pretty close and when you think your contractions are finally over when all the sudden you feel it…again…yeah it’s not a pleasant surprise. These lasted me about 3 days. The pains would start in my stomach and shoot down all the way down my legs to the ankles. I teared up everytime.
-The uncomfortability(I think I just made that word up) of episiodomy. It is more uncomfortable than painful even though it has its moments when you bend down, sit down, or go to the bathroom. It feels like you have a wedgie constantly until you realize it’s the stitches and there’s nothing you can do about it except wait for the stitches to dissolve. A constant wedgie is what anyone could only dream of. So fun.
-NO ONE told me you’ll bleed for about 3 weeks so you’ll be wearing a pad for that long.
-A month after giving birth to Adalie, Jay treated me to go get a one hour body massage and as I was signing the papers, I felt blood gushing down my pants. It took me by surprise and I hoped no more would come but it kept coming. At first I thought I lost control and peed my pants because it was with that amount as if I had to pee really bad and I released it. Shocked and scared, I asked them where the bathroom was and walked speedily down the hall. When I got in the bathroom, I had blood all the way down to my knees(thank goodness I was wearing a long coat), blood soaking through my jeans. I was still gushing blood down there so I sat down on the toilet and for the next 30 mins. while crying, I just watched as blood just kept pouring down. I think I bled about 2 galloons. I was horrified and scared. Was I going to die from all this loss of blood? What was wrong with me? I called the doctor and without any concern or sympathy in his voice he casually told me that was completely normal. “TO BLEED 2 GALLOONS OF BLOOD??” I asked him. He said it was completely normal, that I could expect it to happen again once or twice more and that I should only worry if I was bleeding like that for longer than an hour. In disbelief I hung up the phone. Jay had to come get me and I walked out wearing his basketball shorts and told them we would have to reschedule.
This doesn’t happen to everyone just FYI. I think for most people, they don’t experience this.
I wrote this post awhile back and right now it’s almost 3 am and Ariana’s been sick the past 3 days with a runny/stuffy nose/cough/sneeze. She’s been sleeping fairly well but of course she picks this time to stay awake out of all other times. She’s been crying for the last 4 hrs. I tried holding her, feeding her, burping her, changing her, singing to her but no use. So I just put her down on my side and I just read this post. To keep my sanity and to read about all the reasons why I shouldn’t want anymore kids because within that short time, I forgot again. But why is it that at 3 in the morning, so fatiqued and sleepy with a baby crying by my side, I still want more kids?
These darn kids. I love them more than any discomforts they may bring me. But don’t test me Heavenly Father. Please. 🙂
Wow this was a little too honest for me because I am due so soon to have my second. I am glad you were so forward but now I don’t want her here for a long long time. I thought at the very least breastfeeding would be better. Yeesh! Why did we ever let our husbands touch us again after the first kid?! What were we thinking? BTW, have you read Baby Wise? I remember it helping me a ton with Jack. Maybe you could just check it out. Good luck Mama! You can do it!
P.s. she really is so beautiful. Congratulations. I have been waiting for pictures! 🙂
oh sarah. my heart goes out to you! i’m so sorry! i have to say tho, you are so good at describing the pain of an episiodomy. lol. they are horrible! i had one with my first one and it sounds like we’ve experienced the same things. he he. i remember being amazed by how much blood i lost everyday and just thinking, “this CANT be okay”. i remember the PAIN of moving anything anywhere. oh my goodness. i swear, the months after giving birth were like a million times worse than the birth itself. i’m glad you reminded me because i had started to forget too. 🙂
Awwwwww~ Ariana is so beautiful!
Oh man if I lived near I would have been able to help out by babysitting Adalie during the day so you can get some sleep…
This post is so vivid and discriptive that it brought back all the painful memories I had forgotten all at once! Thanks for the reminder… But I do agree with you last line… Why do I wan’t more~~~~~~ 🙂
I have to first apologize for commenting on your post. You don’t know me and I stumbled upon your blog through a mutual friend. Just sitting on a sunday night with nothing to do so I decided to blog surf. I am glad I read your blog though as it did bring back so many memories of childbirth. I feel for you but just hang in there. You really should try the book “Baby Wise” your friend suggested. I used that technique on my child and it’s been amazing. I recommend it with all my friends. Again I apologize and I hope you don’t mind me commenting.
oh sarah! You mean it doesn’t get easier after they come out!? MAN oh MAN! I am pretty terrified for the labor and delivery part. And my sisters have amnesia about the breastfeeding part, and well, you just added that to my list of fears. 🙂 but isn’t it amazing what we go through to get these bundles of joy here safe and sound.
Sigh… yeah, we really do forget the bad things don’t we? If we didn’t forget them, we would all stop after one. 🙂 Good luck. All these things pass-and soon you’ll forget about it.
thanks everyone for the encouragement and you don’t need to apologize for commenting! 🙂 I should go get that book.
sarah! my heart goes out to you! it really does! i’ve had one too many of these nights like yours… i feel bad cuz i should have told you as I was told that on your 2nd baby, contractions come with breastfeeding! well, just remember that “this too shall pass”… i have to always remind myself of that. luvs! charlene
oh i remember those good ole days…NOT FUN! I remember the first night I didn’t know about swaddling and Kaden didn’t sleep at all! I was sleeping on the couch that night. Basically toss and turned and tried to comfort kaden the whole time….but ofcourse being a mom is so REWARDING!
kudos to you for your honesty, girl. i think that's why u have so many faithful readers!! hahaha!
i think Heavenly Father purposely makes us forget the worst things about having children so we can multiply & replenish!
i remember when ahonui had his days & nights mixed up too and it WAS the hardest time EVERRR…then my neighbor let me read her baby wise book too. unfortunately, i didn't have TIME to read it! lol! and then i bled a lot too – but i doubt as much as you. that had to suck.
anyways, sorry for the novel – but thank you for the reminder! lol!
oh my gosh, I was in that same boat with my second! It seemed like everything was alot harder and frustrating and painful to deal with! You’d think with already having one you’d be alittle more seasoned mom and know how to care for your second baby. But they seriously are two different babies. I remember my second would cry and cry for hours and all the feeding and changing and rocking I did only quieted her for a few mins. Everything I knew about calming my first baby went out the window. And breastfeeding?! yeah I totally feel for you! Hang in there, it will get better.
I’m expecting our 3rd now, and I’m REALLY not looking forward to all the discomforts. I hope it’s not worst than the 2nd! I’m worried cause the morning sickness and pregnancy sypmtoms have been worse than the first two!
I hope things getter better for you! Glad you have the guts to lay it all out there on your blog so we can all remember how mom’s really do sacrafice the body along with everything else to bring us in to this world. Feel better soon!