Come refashion with me at Tag's Redux!

My refashion DIY won 1st place for the Tag's competition, I am so excited!  Thank you so much for your support.  

Come join me this Friday at Tag's thrift store from 3-5 pm where I'll be answering all your DIY, sewing questions!   Bring any of your outdated clothes you have that doesn't fit you right, needs an update, is just plain ugly to the event and I will give you tips and ideas on how to make it into a piece you love.  Basically, you'll get free consultation with me as you use my brain for a bit! 

When: October 3rd, 2014
Where: Tag's 710 South 500 East, American Fork, Utah 84003

Free for everyone, kids are welcome!

I hope to meet you there!

Click here to view the event on Facebook.


The Beauty Movement

I am Brave and Beautiful - a beauty movement that is sweeping the globe. Colbie Caillat started it with her recent song and video called TRY. My blogging friend Megan of Brassy Apple wanted to push this movement along and invited women from all over to share what they looked like without make up and I joined in!! Colbie's song says, "Take your make up off. Let your hair down... Look into the mirror at yourself, Do you like you? Cause I like you... "
Megan and her friend Cobi of Peacefrom6pieces have been the team behind this whole project. Their worldwide vision included creating their own video inspired by the song TRY. The talent of Robbins Creative made it possible for them to pull it off. You have to click play and see the beauty and bravery displayed and you might even recognize a few faces in there.
Me along with 101+ other blogging women from different backgrounds, religions, ethnicities, ages, shapes and sizes have decided to be Brave and Beautiful! You can join in this movement too by sharing what you look like without makeup on. You don't need a blog either! Just tag your photo with #IamBraveAndBeautiful on Instgram and search the hashtag to see who else has joined in. ALSO, if you tag it with a second hashtag - #ColbieTRY we just might be able to get Colbie Caillat's attention since she was the inspiration behind it all!
Are you brave and beautiful? I am, here I go!

The above pictures are from my photoshoot for my modeling portfolio.  These photos are results of liquid foundation, concealer, powder, fake eyelashes, drawn-in eyebrows, thick black eyeliner, lipstick, and photoshop.  

I don't wear that much make-up as shown above or normally look like that daily but I do wear minimal make-up of concealer under my eyes, mascara, and blush.  Sometimes I powder my nose or wear lipgloss.  I wear a little more when I'm going to church on Sunday or have parties/gatherings to go to.  But this is what I look like everyday:

My mom once told me to wear as little makeup as possible and stay away from powders and foundations for as long as possible because once you start wearing a lot of makeup, you can't go back and will feel ugly when you don't.  I don't ever want my face to look so different that people will be shocked or I can't bear to go outside in public with a bare face.  After all, my bare face is my real face!  I want to feel beautiful with my real face and confident enough to go out and see people with my real face.  So I purposefully go out sometimes with no makeup or barely any makeup.  I remember a few years ago when I was invited to a dinner/gathering of our High School friends & their wives/husbands that I haven't seen in a long time and I couldn't find my makeup bag anywhere.  After searching, I said to my husband, "Oh well, let's just go." and went to the little reunion and had a great time.  When we came home, he told me he was shocked that I was totally fine with going with a totally makeup-free face, and that it was really cool.  That all the girls he's ever known would've freaked out and wouldn't have gone until they found the makeup or not gone at all.  And bytheway, he prefers me with no makeup!  

BUT there's one thing I started doing a couple years ago, every single time I go out.  Or if I know people are coming over to my house.  If I don't do it, I don't feel as beautiful or confident enough to look at people in the eye and I do feel pretty self conscious.  That is to draw in my eyebrows.  I used to have really nice and full eyebrows but in Jr. High it was "in" to have really thin eyebrows.  So I plucked almost everyday all throughout Jr. High to College!  I started growing out my eyebrows a couple years ago but since I plucked so much for the last 14+ years, the growth is very sparse.  It is slowly growing again and I am hoping, but I doubt I'll have my natural eyebrows ever again.  So I draw in my eyebrows and without it, I don't truly feel beautiful.  If I had my old eyebrows, the ones I was born with, I would feel confident enough to have anybody see me without any makeup whatsoever.  But now, I have to draw in my eyebrows in order to feel confident in my bare, real face. Eyebrows really make a huge difference!  I honestly look 5 years younger with a full, thick eyebrows.

So here's my natural face.

Whew!  Now that I've done it, I want you to join in the beauty movement too!  Upload pictures of your natural face and tag #braveandbeautiful and #colbietry. I would love to see your beautiful faces.

I do feel more confident now than I've ever before however, because as I get older, my confidence comes more from my inner beauty than my outer beauty.  With age comes wisdom, kindness, selflessness, empathy, more failures & experiences you learn from, more friends, and purpose.  You start to worry less about things that don't really matter in the end and focus on long term happiness.  I have had serious self-image and body-image issues in the past with an eating disorder that lasted for 6 years.  I had an over-eating disorder and gained 39 lbs. and thought about weight every single second of my life.  I was a prisoner in my own thoughts.  It got so bad that one night I prayed to Satan.  To help me be anorexic.  To give me enough will power to starve myself because I tried but never could do it.  It gives me the chills every time I think about that night.  But am happy to say I no longer have an eating disorder.  I've read many times on the internet of people saying once you have an eating disorder, you will always have it somewhat.  That you can never really be cured from it, and you will carry it for the rest of your life to some degree,  Well, I am here to tell you that it is 100% curable.  I know because I am 100% cured.  I never think about weight anymore.  I don't give a crap if I gained 5 lbs. overnight.  Life is not about looking perfect, it's about being your best self, trying to perfect ourselves in Christ.  And that true beauty comes from within.  True beauty is what you can't see but can feel.  It's the love you emanate.  Kindness.  Sympathy.  Intelligence.  Your stories.  Your smile.  Your warmth.  Your heart.  Your love for life.  Your optimism.  Your laugh.  Your personality.  Your views on life.  Your life lessons that you learned.  Your friendship.  Loyalty.  Honesty.  If people can't see your true beauty but only judge you on your outside appearance, those people are not beautiful themselves and you don't need them in your life.  The truly beautiful, worth while people are the ones that will see the beauty that's in you.  Grab on to those people.  Surround yourself in them.  Do not spend your precious time with the people who don't see your true beauty.  You only get one life.  Live it right the first time because there is no second time.

xo, Sarah

share your natrual beauty - brassyapple.com
Below are more brave and beautiful women bearing more than their natural beauty. They each have a little bit of their heart to share with you. Some get very personal. Some share stories. For some this was very hard to do yet they gathered their courage and did it anyway. We hope as you click around (and YES pin these different posts!) you will feel the importance of it, the empowering effect it has and that it encourages you in some way.
women sharing their natural beauty - no makeup
women with our makeup on and what makes them beautiful
women from around the world share their face with no makeup on - BrassyApple.com
Mommy bloggers share their face without makeup and what makes then beautiful
Natural beauty untouched photos
raw natural beauty - join the movement
beauty and bravery - women wearing no makeup - Brassyapple.com
#colbietry #iambraveandbeautiful


I've been resenting motherhood lately, and I don't like being a stay at home mom. Oops, I said it.

The kids were in bed by 8:30 p.m. tonight.  We like them to be in bed by 8 p.m, but my parents seemed a little down lately so I took everyone out to dinner while Jay was at class(yes, he went back to school which is awesome).  As I was lying down with Aiden and feeding him milk to put him to sleep, I made a mental checklist of all the things I need/want to do as soon as he fell asleep such as answering emails, washing plethora of dishes(I swear this is what I spend the most of my day on-washing dishes 5-10 times a day), tidying up the kitchen, order prints online for Adi's school project, watch one of my favorite shows Goldberg's.  You see, I get so excited at night when the kids go to bed.  It is finally MY time!  I don't need to hear "Mom, mom, mom!" every 20 seconds and help someone else, I can do what I want to do.  Well, after the cleaning, washing the dishes, helping my kid's homework, that is.  

I've said this before but we are the worst sleep trainers and have had one of us sleep with all three of our children until they were like three.  We are too weak to let them cry it out.  It just eats my heart inside when I hear them cry so desperately.  It doesn't help that they were all angel babies and so happy, chill and content and hardly cries in the day, if at all.  So when they do cry, crying for one of us to come be near them, I just can't take it, I have to go make them happy again.  To not hear their sad little cries one second longer.  Well, it's 10:45 pm and I am finally having some alone time.  Aiden woke up FOUR times between 8 pm - 10:30 pm.  So I went and lied with him 4 times, only having the time to barely wash the dishes in between.  Blogging is the last thing I should do, but I just need to do something for myself right now before I go insane.  

I hate to admit this and I'm hesitant and nervous in saying this but I have been resenting motherhood lately.  It's only spurts of moments and most of the time I do love it, and It is no resentment towards my kids whatsoever, my resentment or bitterness is never towards them(because oh my goodness, I love them so much.  I have nothing to complain about, they're such good, amazing kids) but just at myself.  How I can't find the time to do everything I want to do.  How motherhood requires me to be so selfless, even more selfless than when I had two kids, but there are so many dreams and ambitions I have!  I have so many.  I want to conquer the world pretty much.  More lately than ever, I've been having so much urge for my ambitions that I am constantly stuffing it back in the bottle, but it keeps spewing out.  So when I am constantly reminded that I can't do this, I can't do that, I can't pursue this dream, I can't go for that dream, it just makes me anxious.  And bitter.  And resentful.  Is it too much to ask to do what I want to do?  No, it's not.  I have every right to pursue my dreams.  I realize my kids are my greatest passions by far, and nothing else is more important right now than to be there for my kids and raise them, but why can't I just have it all?  Why can't I raise kids and pursue my dreams?  

I loved being a stay at home mom when I had two kids.  One kid was nothing.  Now when I only have Aiden, it's like having no child at all.  Two kids for me was perfectly manageable and perfectly balance-able.  I was able to be a stay at home mom and also have time for myself and time to pursue my many ambitions.  With three kids, I can't pursue them all.  I would love to sew weekly and post them weekly on the blog, I would love to start my clothing line, I would love to take up on the book offer I received a year ago and actually have the time to write a book(how can I write a book and have it be mostly new content when I want to post sewing DIY's on the blog to grow my blog?), I would love to make my blog so much cooler and make it grow exponentially, I would love to have a part time job, I would love to hang out with my parents everyday and cook for them everyday, to name a few.  It's impossible to do all these things at once right now but I really want to.  I so wish I could.  But I can't, and that makes me a little bitter.  I don't like being a stay at home mom anymore.  There, I said it.  Maybe it's a phase, maybe when Aiden is a little older, it'll go away.  I actually do love the "mothering" part of being a stay at home mom, of playing with them, taking care of them, spending time with them, but I hate the washing, cleaning, laundry, grocery shopping, cooking part.  I recently read an article about a dad who thought stay at home mothers had it so easy, until he became a stay at home dad.  He said for the first week, he had it.  Then starting the second week, it smacked him in the face and he found it to be the most difficult job he's ever done and he sincerely apologized to his wife and all the mothers out there.  He said he has no idea how he did it that first week.  Well, I know exactly how, it's because that first week his wife probably had cleaned the house, went grocery shopping and stocked the refrigerator.  He didn't have to plan breakfast, lunch & dinner menus for the week, go grocery shopping to buy all the ingredients, and it was only a week so he just had to tidy up here and there, not cleaning the bathrooms, and laundry hasn't piled up yet.  It's the 2nd week when you have to do all those things while being a parent and meeting their high demands at the same exact time that is hard.  When I was a nanny at 12 years old to a 7 year old girl and a 1 1/2 yr. old boy from 7:30-5:00 pm every day of the Summer, I never thought it was hard.  So when I got married and became a mom, I thought, "Oh, I got this motherhood thing down, I was a nanny since I was 12!" But oh boy, I know now that the reason why I didn't think it was hard was because all I had to do was play with them, feed them the prepared lunch(they were already fed with breakfast when I would arrive), and just be there.  I didn't have to clean, run errands, go grocery shopping, plan menus, do laundry, any of that.  If you only have to play with the kids and do no chores, parenting is easy.  But combine parenting with all the responsibilities that come with parenting, it makes it the hardest job in the world.

I don't know where I am going with this, I am just writing down my thought process.  Maybe I need to give up some things in life such as blogging?  I've "put a pause"(such a better term than "giving up ") in publishing a book & getting a part time job, but do I need to give up, I mean put a pause on more things?  I am so behind so many blog posts because we do so many fun things as a family, should I stop posting about the family stuff and only blog about my sewing, and fashion?  Can you tell me what you would prefer my blog to be?  Should it change to sewing & fashion and tidbits of my thoughts on motherhood, and no more about my family, or should it stay the same?  Do you like reading about my family adventures?  I would love to get your feed back, pretty please.  Don't comment if you hate when I vent about motherhood, I'll then take that as a sign and stop writing these posts. :)

I know I can get very personal on here(only personal about myself, never about my kids or my husband), and some people think I am a terrible mother and a person(remember the hatred and the backlash I received from posting this post?) but I obviously don't care because I keep writing about my weak moments and my imperfections.  I know who I am and I know I am an excellent person of character and I believe that is precisely the reason why I feel comfortable talking about my imperfections, weaknesses and the struggles.  Because what I share with you are my most weak, shameful moments.  When I slapped Aiden on his back in the middle of the night when he had been crying all night long and I was so tired and frustrated?  That is the worst thing I've ever done as a mother.  That is by far the worst thing I've ever done as a human being for the last 7 years.  Having this shameful thought that I resent motherhood and I don't like being a stay at home mom?  It's one of the worst things I've done/thought of for the last 7 years.  If I knew I was a horrible person and didn't have the self confidence in knowing that I was a good person, I would hide all these stories and keep it to myself!  But if this is the worst thing I've ever done, I think that makes me a pretty good person, no?  Haha.  I feel funny.  But it's true.  I know I am a very good person, God knows I am a very good person, I have nothing to hide, and I am confident in myself, enough to share my ugliest parts about myself on the internet.  I share this so that people can relate and realize, nobody is perfect.  My friend texted me last night saying, "Ugh, you've inspired me yet again.  Why you gotta be such a great mom?" referring to my previous blog post about carrying my two girls as much as possible before they get too big to do so.  Well Kea, this is for you.  Do you take your words back now? ;)  The thing is, we all have our struggles and imperfections.  Life kinda sucks sometimes for every single person.  Let's stop playing the "My life is so perfect game", shall we?  It's getting really old.
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