People have never changed out of fear, but only out of love. When we use fear on others and ourselves, it might change the actions or the behaviors temporarily but it never changes the hearts. God never uses fear, guilt trip or force to change us. Instead, he uses patience, long suffering, non-judgment and most of all, love. Unconditional love, no matter what we have done. He never withholds his love. It’s always us turning away from him, it’s never him. He doesn’t try to change us on his timeline, but waits for our timeline instead, when we are truly ready.
You’ve heard of the saying, “Exercise because you love your body, not because you hate it.” Same can be said for everything else. “Change because you love yourself, not because you hate yourself.”, “Pursue your dream because you believe in yourself, not from the fear of being a failure.”, “Work on overcoming your addiction because you have faith in yourself, not from self loathe or hate.”, “Change others for their own good, not because it fills up your ego, reputation or agenda.”
When we try to change others, it should be done out of love, never with fear. They’ll change their actions temporarily to please you, but their hearts, their characters stay the same. So how do we use love to truly change others? Stop trying to change them! Accept them for who they are NOW in the present moment. Love them. Don’t lecture, nag, threaten, guilt-trip, or give an ultimatum with your timeline. It’s when we stop trying to change them and love them like Christ would, that they truly start to change. According to their timeline. So be patient. And love. Love is ALWAYS the right answer. LOVE is always the higher-law of living. LOVE is never outdated or the wrong timing.