This post is a paid post in partnership with Sophos, a company I love and use in my own home.
Jay has miraculously agreed to getting family photos done every year, so a family photoshoot every year it is! I plan on framing each year of the family photos and hanging it up in the hallway of our home. My MIL does that and I think it’s such a cute idea.
The other day my kid followed me to the bathroom. This is after all day of listening, doing & listening some more of their endless requests & stories. Do your kids always ask you instead of their dad or is it just me? And have you ever listened so much that your ears are literally tired of listening? I was at that point. So when my kid came chattering to me as soon as I sat on the toilet, tears streamed down my face. With an exhausted voice I begged, “Can you please go tell daddy instead? Please? I just want to pee alone. I just want to not listen and have a few minutes to my own thoughts, that’s all I want. Please. Please go ask dad right now.”
In moments like this my first thought is, ‘I can’t wait until they’re not so needy anymore.” I’ve realized this is how I cope with many unwanted situations in life. I dream and wish for a day that’s different. “I can’t wait until they’re older and I have more time.”, “I can’t wait until this happens, life will be so much better.” I was thinking this as the kids were saying, “Mommy, guess what? Mommy, look, mommy, mommy, mommy!” in the car today.
Then as we were listening to the audio book of Harry Potter, Albus Dumbledore said to Harry sitting in front of the Mirror of the Erised(yes, I’m quoting HP, I’m officially a HP nerd now), “It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.” I always thought he meant to not dwell on our goals and future plans so much that we forget to live in the present. Today, I gained another perspective to the quote. It doesn’t just mean wishing for your future to be a certain way, it also means to not wish and daydream for the present to be a certain way. To not wish it was any different. To face it full on instead and realize we are not above our current situation. To admit that life is what it is, and let life pain you, humble you, to feel the full extent of it’s heartache, frustration, & sorrow, even at times break you. Because it’s in these moments we find our true weaknesses. Then we have a chance to make that weakness a strength, but only by facing it full on. So soak in the present, don’t wish for it to be different. Own your life & your emotions, then rock it.
And even though we need to let things be and not try to change circumstances that we have no control over, one thing that I am very adamant and vigilant about is pornography. Because that is something I do have control over on what I can teach my children and providing them a safe environment at home. This is seriously my nightmare guys, I worry about it a lot. I feel there are many types of pornography, from hardcore porn to sexualized, immodest ads and the culture that we live in that emphasize women’s looks more than her brain or heart. I have read many articles and books about how to teach your kids and keep them strong-minded and safe, and one thing I keep hearing is that it’s not IF the kids have seen pornography but WHEN they see it. Every child will come across pornography in their life, and the average age a kid first sees porn is 8. 8! That is my daughter’s age! I read that many times it happens at a friend’s house who has an older sibling that shows it to them. Which is the reason why I always prefer that my kids’ friends come and play at our house and I only let them have playdates at their friend’s house if I know the mom and trust her and her family. I know I won’t be able to control who and where they hang out at forever but while they are little, I am going to do my best in keeping them safe.
WHAT I TEACH MY KIDS ABOUT PORNOGRAPHY
1. Our bodies are beautiful and so, so sacred, every one of ours. Our spirit dwells in our bodies, therefore it should be kept clean and pure, like a temple. Our body affects our spirit and our spirit affects our body. You can’t have one not affect the other, whether it be for good or bad. And since our bodies are so sacred, we do not show our private parts to others(unless mom or dad are right there and we tell you that it’s okay such as at a doctor’s appointment), nor do we look at other people’s body parts. Same goes with touching. You should not touch other people’s private parts nor should anyone touch yours. It is not because our private parts are bad or dirty, it’s because it’s just the opposite, because it’s so good and so sacred.
2. Pornography is anything that shows or describes people in little or no clothing(when they are older I plan on also adding that it’s purpose is to arouse sexual feelings). It can be through texting, phone calls, magazines, television, movies, books, and photographs.
3. When you come across pornography, immediately look away and say out loud, “That’s pornography!”
4. Replace the image you just saw from your mind by visualizing our family photo hanging on the wall. Try to recall and visualize the details of the image such as what each of us are wearing, the colors of our clothes, who is standing next to who, our smiles, etc.
5. Recite a scripture or sing a favorite hymn. Say or sing it out loud or in your head.
6. Tell mom or dad or an adult. Repeat steps 3 to 5 every time you come across pornography. You will never be in trouble. We will not get mad or disappointed in you. It is natural to be curious and we all get tempted, even mom or dad! We will always love you no matter what. Satan is really good at attacking what is so holy and sacred such as our bodies and turning it into something so casual and nonchalant. Because he doesn’t have a body of his own nor he ever will! He wants us to think that our bodies control our mind and our spirit and we should do whatever our body pleases. This is not true. We need to control our body with our mind and spirit in order to truly be happy.
If you have any additional tips or advice you have told your kids about pornography that I have missed, please share in the comments below! I love hearing about what other parents are teaching their kids because I don’t know everything and it helps to share the knowledge!