I’m super nervous to post this, so please be kind. Watch to see why I stopped giving praises to my kids.
I believe there are times praises are merited and empowering for the kids. I’m talking about the culture of over-excessive and constant praises we are taught to always say to our kids.
If we are constantly praising even for the littlest things, it becomes the “norm” and praises from us stop meaning much to our kids. And they don’t get a chance to ask themselves if they’re doing it because they really love it or they’re doing it to get validation from others.
So I’m not saying I will never praise my kids, I plan to at the right moments! Nothing is an all or nothing approach when it comes to parenting and use your intuition, that’s always the right answer.
This was done in one take, no preparation beforehand or using a script so I hope it makes sense!
Ever since I was little, my favorite subjects to talk about were the purpose of life, life after death, happiness, spirituality, and parenting. I always knew I wanted to be a mom so I’d eagerly read parenting articles and books since I was in Jr. High.
Since I don’t have a degree or an official education in psychology or child development or in parenting, I always felt I wasn’t worthy enough to post about parenting advice or tips I’ve accumulated over the years.
So when many of you DM me and ask me for parenting advice, I was always so baffled! Why would they ask me? I’d wonder.
Well, I’ve realized I’m an old, old soul who’s lived many life times and accumulated vast knowledge and I wanted to come to this life time to be a mother. Because I knew I’d be a really good one.
I make many mistakes and I have so much more room to improve, but one thing I am very confident in, is my close, amazing, uplifting and empowering relationship I have with each of my kids. And how I was so eager, passionate and excited to come down and be a mother to my 3 amazing kids.
So this is first of many more of parenting tips, life advice, deep thoughts and epiphanies in my life that has helped tremendously in my happiness and self confidence. Take it or leave it, it’s all up to you. I hope you enjoy.
The first part of the video might have sounded like I don’t say nice things to my children or build them up. The opposite is true! So I wanted to clarify.
While I don’t believe in excessive praises for every little action they do, I am a big believer in validating who they are, without tying their actions to their worth and value. I want them to know that they don’t need to prove anything to me, it’s their birthright to be loved, accepted and valued.
So call it praises, compliments or validations, these are my favorite ways to build them up. Because it’s telling them they’re not tied to an action they do, they’re whole just being themselves.
Did you receive validations in your childhood?