Life is Beautiful

Motherhood, Sewing, Family

Your strength may be my weakness but my strength may be your weakness

~ Etc.

Living in a place where the internet is so readily accessible at our fingertips has it’s advantages. Keeping in touch with friends and family is so much easier and timely, the ability to learn about almost any topic that comes to mind can be obtained in seconds through the many hours of research and studies other people have already done, to name a couple.  But there is opposition in all things, and the internet has disadvantages as well.  One which I want to focus on is how the internet makes it easy for us to compare our weaknesses to somebody else’s strengths.  Not just one or two other people, but literally thousands of people.
I am pretty good at not comparing myself to others or feeling jealous but I’d be lying if it has never happened to me. It’s mostly at times when I’m really tired or frustrated,  unhappy or feeling insecure.  But it sneaks up on me and sometimes it can be good, motivating me and pushing me to do better, but often times it leaves me feeling a little bitter and jealous or envious. Comparison can happen outside of the internet of course, through our neighbors, at school, at a workplace, but the number of people we see or interact with is limited. However, through the internet, our access to other people’s lives are by hundreds and thousands, thus making it a larger scale of scope for comparison, often times with strangers and people we hardly know.  When we compare ourselves with thousands of other people through the internet instead of tens of people we personally know, we are bound to meet someone that’s better than us in some aspect.  But whenever I feel this way, I quickly remember to do one thing.  To realize that the people are putting their best talents out to the world, and we don’t have the same talents.  That my talents are probably their weaknesses.  That I have many things I’m really good at, and what I’m seeing that person do so amazingly just might not be my talent.  Since I’ve come to this realization, I no longer compare myself to others.  I genuinely feel inspiration, happiness and admiration for other people’s talents that they put out to the world. 
The truth is, Everybody has strengths and weaknesses.  But anyone will feel discouraged and inadequate if they compare their weaknesses to someone else’s strengths.  So sometimes when I feel like I’m not a good enough mother or a person because I see other people on Pinterest or other blogs that are doing ridiculously clever, cute, creative crafts or outings or parties for their kids all the time, I have to remember that hey, that’s not everyday for them either, and they’re only blogging about their most clever, cute, creative ideas they’ve done.  That while I may not ever do crafts with my kids, I throw mean birthday parties for $100 or less!  I may not have the perfect marriage, but I do have many perfect moments with my husband and those people are only posting those perfect moments as well!  My kids might not always be well behaved and sweet, but all those people are posting only the cutest, most adorable, most sweet moments of their kids!  I may not have the money to go on elaborate vacations every year, but at least we don’t have any debt!  My dinner might not be the fanciest, gourmet looking dinner but it sure tastes awesome and my family loves my cooking!  Nobody’s life is perfect, but we are all blessed in one way or another.  We all have something to be grateful for in one way or another.  We are all good at something in one way or another.

I’m not good at everything, nobody is.  Can you imagine how boring the world would be if we were all just amazing at every single thing?  Where would we get inspiration?  How would we improve?  I’m pretty good at some things but when I have access to compare my talent to the world, I’m bound to meet many, many others who are so much better at it than I am.  And that’s okay!  Because whatever I’m really good at, they probably suck at.  And whatever I suck at, they are probably really good at.  The fairness evens out, I promise!

So let’s talk about my weaknesses and strengths.  Some of my non-strengths are:

-I am not good at interior design.  My house isn’t decorated like Martha Stewart.  Actually, the house isn’t decorated.  AT ALL.  I always say it’s because Jay is going to renovate it soon and break down the walls and everything, so why bother to decorate it now?  But the truth is, he’s renovated our whole basement, and I have not done one thing to decorate except for this cute rug from Ikea we got.  There are no picture frames hanging up on the wall, there are no cute tables, vases with flowers, cute pillow cases, nothing. Interior design is not my strength.
-I don’t buy organic foods.  It’s too expensive and I’ve read way too many articles that say organic foods aren’t any more nutritious or better for you than non-organic foods.  Am I a bad mom for not buying organic foods/treats/crackers for my children? NO.
– I hardly ever do crafts with them.  Doing cute crafts with them like making Christmas ornaments or garlands, or melting wax onto paper, making homemade play-dough, are not a daily thing, nor a weekly, nor a monthly thing.

-I love being alone.  So being a mother is hard for me sometimes.  As much as I love spending time with my kids and playing with them, I need my alone time.  So I let my girls play a lot with each other while I tell them to not bother me for an hour or so.  I’m not those kind of mothers who don’t mind having their kids attached to their ankle all day long.

-I’m not the most patient person in the world.  And motherhood makes me realize that everyday.  

But my strengths are:
-While I hardly to crafts with my kids, I cook with them quiet frequently.  They might make a mess, slow down the process and cause more work for me in return, but that’s how you learn to cook!  I want all my kids to be really good cooks.

-I like to cook and I make pretty awesome dinners every night.  I can count in one hand(I think 2 times) in the past 7 years the times I served frozen pizza or already made food, or grilled cheese, things like that.  This is mainly because I grew up with a mother who never served frozen food, canned food, etc for meals.  And if you do often times feed your family with quick and ready-made meals, that’s okay!  Because you are good at something else that I’m probably not the best at.

-I love to plan parties!  I love getting all the ideas together for a theme and throwing fun birthday parties.  I think I throw pretty cool parties for $100.

-I am a very sweet mother.  I give my kids affection constantly and tell them many times throughout the day how much I love them.  I have never called them names or said anything negative to tear down their self-worth or self confidence.

-I’m a person of integrity.  Most of my self confidence comes from knowing that I’m a very good, honest person.  I will not lie, cheat, manipulate, or have double motives when dealing with people.  I will always return the extra cash to the cashier if they miscalculated, or return the missing wallet, however little or big the amount of money it may be.  No amount of money is worth my integrity.

Gosh, I feel really funny saying some of those things since I feel like I’m boasting about myself, but I think it’s more than okay, healthy for us even to admit some of the things we are good at!  We are all pretty good at something.  An excerpt from a talk called “There are many gifts” says these are some of the gifts people are blessed with:

the gift of asking; the gift of listening; the gift of hearing and using a still, small voice; the gift of being able to weep; the gift of calm, the gift of avoiding contention; the gift of being agreeable; the gift of avoiding vain repetition; the gift of seeking that which is righteous; the gift of not passing judgment; the gift of looking to God for guidance; the gift of caring for others; the gift of being able to ponder; the gift of offering prayer.

I didn’t know the ability to weep was a gift!  I got that gift down!
So now it’s your turn.  What are your talents and gifts?  What are you really good at?  You can also share your weaknesses if you’d like but I want to focus more on your strengths!  Because next time you see someone do something spectacular and you have that feeling of jealousy and comparison  slowly creeping up on you, remember that that’s their strength.  And you have your own strengths that’s different than theirs.  Their strength may be your weakness, but your strength will be their weakness.  I guarantee it.

Comments

  1. Linh Vo says

    I love this. Often through social media, we only catch a glimpse of other people's lives and it's usually the beautiful and good stuff. Things are staged – like selfies and house images that have been carefully cleaned and neatly organized. I admit – sometimes I get a little jealous too, but I often remember that it only serves as inspiration for me 🙂 Thank you for posting about your weaknesses and putting yourself out there. I don't eat organic 100% of the time and I feel pretty damn guilty of it…but I know I shouldn't. Yes, I wish I lived like Martha Stewart or was as crafty as her, but I'm not….but I sure as hell try haha! Love this post Sara and sorry for the rambling 🙂
    Linh
    http://abeautifulrawr.com

  2. Angela J. Kim says

    I can totally relate! I think we all have moments of insecurity and uncertainty especially as mothers. And the way motherhood, marriage and children are portrayed in the world of the internet is so fabricated and unreal- I remind myself everyday that I'm fine just the way things are. It's refreshing to finally find a blogger who is truthful and real; I've been struggling to find my place in the world of blogging because everyone has perfect homes, perfect children, perfect husbands and a perfect wardrobe! This post totally got me thinking. Thanks for sharing.

    http:/loveangelissa.com

  3. Angie says

    Great post! I've been struggling with this very concept and robbing myself and my family of JOY! Loved the talk by Elder Ashton too! Saving that one! Glad I came across your blog! 🙂

  4. Sarah says

    I bet Martha Stewart doesn't live like the way she portrays either! It's all business and she has secretaries, interns and so many people helping her. 🙂 thanks for your comment and I love your rambling! 😉

  5. Sarah says

    Aw, thank you so much for your comment! I am so glad you found my blog too! No one's lives are perfect, but people sure do only put the pretty things on the internet. That's why I like being honest and putting my bad days on here too. 🙂

  7. Beverly Houpt says

    I really enjoyed reading this post! I've been thinking a lot about comparison lately, especially amongst bloggers. I'm inspired to write about my strengths and weaknesses in a blog post!

  8. Rachel B says

    I'm with all the other commenters – what a great post! Being a wife and mom requires that we do things that don't necessarily fall into our strengths (for example scheduling) and it's hard not to compare ourselves to other people. But even those things that are not our strengths are skills that we can get better at.
    As for my strengths – cooking is one of them and I would also say enjoying the moment. I try to focus on my daughter when I'm with her and laugh with her and not worry about all of the things on my to-do-list.

  9. Kea says

    I love that you are not an interior decorator! I suck at it too. I'm too cheap to spend money on stuff and I see decor as more things to dust. But I secretly envy everyones cute houses and know I will never have that cause I just don't have the talent. It took me a year to hang a picture in my house…and I had many anxiety attacks over picking out curtains. I love your home because it feels welcoming and I can just see how happy Jay is. And I agreed with all the strengths you picked. You did forget to add fashionista, gentle voice (I probably should teach you how to truly snap ha ha), and self reflective slash you are always trying to improve and are humble to recognize your oopsies in life. Ok, bored at work, nough stalking. Kea

  10. Kea says

    Oh and martha steward probaly does live like how her life is portrayed in magazines but it's because she has gagillion dollars. it's easy to live a pretty life when you have money to throw around and people to clean it for you.

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