Life is Beautiful

Yes, there I said it.  I said the word SEX, gasp! Being born in a conservative LDS home, I honestly can say I’ve never heard the word SEX uttered in my household, not even once. My parents never told me or taught me about sex and I learned from it from my friend in 5th grade. I remember being so shocked by it, I promised myself I would never have kids. But obviously 3 kids later, here I am! 

While I think my parents are one of the greatest parents and they did their very best and I grew up in a very loving, supportive home, I do wish they taught me about sex and they were the first ones I heard it from. After finding out in 5th grade, I never talked about sex to anyone, not even with my friends, unless it was referred by somebody as a dirty joke.  I must have skipped sex ed in Jr.High or something because I was absolutely clueless about sex. This is way too much information(but don’t we all love hearing those? Or is that just me? Okay…) but I didn’t even know the anatomy of a male body until I had sex for the first time, which was with my husband, meaning…. I didn’t know guys had testicles. Hahaha, I cannot believe I’m telling you guys this! That’s all I’ll say about that, just imagine my shock and horror thinking what the heck is that and wondering if he had some kind of a cancer or something. I also didn’t know what ejaculation was and that’s how you get pregnant. 

So even before I had kids, I decided that I was going to be very open with my kids. And that sex would be learned from my husband and I and we would be the very source they would go to anytime they had questions about it. So I read many, many articles about it and when I attended Build Your Blog Conference in February, I overheard two ladies talking while standing in line to go to the bathroom and they were talking about sex and pornography and how to teach our kids about it and I had to chime in! The bathroom was like a master bedroom with an extra sitting room with sofas and such guys, don’t judge, okay? 😉 One of the ladies was one of the contributors of these books 30 days of Sex Talks and also the President of Education and Empower Kids. As I talked to her more and more, I got more and more excited how everything I was implying with my kids and will do in the future aligned perfectly with hers! For example, here are some of the things I implement with  my kids in teaching about sex.

1. I use the private words in their correct terms openly and casually with  my kids, just as I do with other body parts. I tell them that you should use the terms correctly and only when you’re referring to the actual body part, and not in a demeaning manner but with respect because our bodies are sacred and beautiful and should be protected.  I think if we use some other words for the private parts, it’s telling the kids that the real terms are shameful or bad or dirty and I want my kids to not be ashamed! And if I can’t refer to the private parts in their correct terms, why would they feel comfortable to talk about it or ask me questions about it as they grow up?  

2. I believe “the sex talk” shouldn’t be a one-time, formal discussion, but more of a casual on-going conversation that is brought up often as needed and casually. I’ve heard of my friends tell me about their “sex talk” they had with their parents and every one of them have said it was awkward and they just tried to not pay attention and hoped it’d be over soon. I had my first “sex talk” with my 6 and 7 year old and taught them what the act of sex is. But I’ve always been very open about talking about their bodies and the differences between their bodies and the boys such as their little brother, so it was very casual and just a part of our conversation.  We’ve had countless casual talks since then and they feel comfortable bringing it up in the middle of our conversation.

3. When my kids ask me questions about sex, no matter how silly it may sound, I don’t laugh at the question or make them feel embarrassed that they asked. I tell them, “Thank you for asking me, that is a good question!” And then I happily tell them the answer as a matter of fact. Then I tell them, “If you have any other questions at any other time, you can always ask me anything!”

4. I teach my kids that sex is a good, sacred, beautiful thing, not a dirty, shameful thing that must not be spoken of.  I teach them that sex is such a good, beautiful, holy thing that we need to protect it and our bodies from the bad influences. The world makes it seem like sex is dirty and bad, but it’s just the opposite.