Life is Beautiful

i thought i should update you on how i’m doing.  i’m doing worse than ever.  i can’t stop crying…

just kidding! hahaha, i’m back to my normal self again!(i sure got you didn’t i? 🙂  do you ever feel like you’re bi-polar ever since you became a mother?  i sure do.  the highs are so high and the lows are so low.  but the lows are very short and the highs are very long.  i’m so grateful for that.  i felt better after i blogged and vented my fire(thank you for reading), and after i closed my eyes and didn’t move and just soaked in the peaceful quietness for a full minute.  thank you so much for all your comments, it’s your comments that keeps me blogging and i’m so humbled to know that you care about this little me enough to take the time to give me wonderful advice/support.  there sure are so many wonderful, wise mothers/women out there.

i was talking to my husband later that night after my venting about how i think satan attacks you stronger on the important times.  especially on mothers because he knows how important and sacred the job is.  when i served a mission for our church, the times when i felt most sick physically or tired, that the last thing i wanted to do was walk around and knock on doors of strangers, were the times when i found the best people who were receptive and open to the gospel.  he knocks you harder right before something wonderful is about to happen.   my oldest is almost four and she’ll be in school 1/2 the day in two years.  oh, how bitter that day will be and how i’ll long for today.  every year on her birthday i say, “she only has 17,16,15 more years until she enters college and leaves me!”  well, on her birthday this year, there will only be 13 years left.  oh i literally tear up everytime i think about that.  so satan knows these two years before she enters 1st grade is very crucial and i think he’s working extra hard to bring me down.  well, that ain’t gonna happen! 

i’m grateful that i love being a mother 99% of the time. 

i’m grateful for those 1% because it makes me appreciate the 99% more. 

i’m also grateful that those 1% makes me nothing but a stronger, more determined, refreshed mother.

i’m grateful for a husband who helps so much with cleaning and watching the kids.  he is a life saver.

i’m grateful for my two beautiful angels that God has entrusted me with.  i’m grateful for their innocence, love for life, health, intelligence, and humor.  they posess everything that is beautiful on this earth.

and i’m grateful for God, my sweet, loving father who gives me responsibilities to make me stronger, wise, selfless, and giving.  to shape me up to be the person he needs me to be.  he is so sweet, i literally tear up everytime i think about how sweet, kind, and loving he is.

p.s: a cute little story that happened yesterday, my two girls kept fighting so i put them in the same room and locked the door.  i’ve never locked the door on time-out but i didn’t want them to open it right back so as i closed the door, i heard my oldest say while crying, “no, mommy! don’t lock the door!”  but i did anyway and as i started to walk away from the door i heard her cry out, “oh heavenly father! mommy locked the door!!! can you come open it please?”  i couldn’t help but laugh as i opened the door.  what else was i suppose to do after that prayer?  it was just so darn cute.  i chuckled the rest of the day thinking about it.