It’s been pretty busy over here lately and my mind’s been all over the place. All over the place in fact that yesterday, I woke up and got ready to drop off big sister at preschool with the usual schedule of fixing the girls breakfast, dressing them, doing A’s hair, getting her backpack and her school things, and I told the girls, “Okay, it’s time to go, go get your shoes on and get in the car!” And when I went to go get my shoes on, big sister was already in the car, and little sister was putting on her shoes. So we got in the car, and dropped big sister off at her preschool. 2 1/2 hours later, little sister and I went to pick her up where there’s a drop off/pick up section and the teachers open/close the car doors for the kids to get in/out so you don’t have to get out of the car. When we got home, I noticed big sister was barefoot so I asked her where her shoes were, whether she had left them at school and she said, “No mom, I didn’t wear shoes to school.”
Yeah, talk about feeling like a bad mother! And it’s been even more chaotic lately because my girls have been crying more than usual. They would ask me if they can have some ice-cream or candy and when I tell them no, they have the utmost hurt expression in their eyes as they run off crying to their bedroom to sob on their pillows for 20 minutes! Is that normal, people? I mean, they’re only 3 and 4, what on earth is going to happen when they reach puberty and start their menstrual cycle? Oh, boy!
So today was one of those days where I desperately needed many deep breaths and clinching my mouth shut to stop me from screaming and losing it. Okay, let’s be honest, I did scream and lose it once. But I only lost it once out of the 70 times I felt like yelling and screaming. So that’s good, no? π
But even though they test my patience every day, I still cherish these moments at the end of the day. (The key word is “at the end of the day”, and not during the tantrums and emotional meltdowns:) Because all the things they’re unhappy or not content about, I can fix. Because all their problems they have now are easily fixable by me. If they’re whining about wanting more milk, I can get them more milk. If they’re unhappy about the princess dress they just put on 5 seconds ago, I can put on another princess dress for them. And another and then another princess dress after that, until they’re content(for 20 more minutes anyway). If they’re crying because they can’t find their mermaid toy or their blankie, I can find it for them. If they’re frustrated they can’t reach something up high, I can get it down for them. But I know there will come a day when they’re older and there will be many things I can’t fix when they’re sad or not content. That there will be more things to my liking that I cannot control. I can’t control how nice people will treat my girls. I can’t control if they have a bad day at school or work. I can’t control what kind of friends they hang out with. I can’t control what kind of choices they’ll make, even the wrong ones. I can’t control the consequences to their wrong decisions. While I will always be there for them to listen and to comfort, and to remind them how strong, intelligent, and important they are, I can’t make their problems go away with just one more popsicle, one more hug and a kiss on the boo boo, with just holding them tightly and tickling them so they giggle and forget that they were just crying.
And oh, how I will miss days like today when I could solve all their woes and cries. Yes, I cherish days like today.
steph nelsen says
so, so true.
jodi says
I know exactly what you mean. It's such a good reminder for me, remembering that at some point they won't be little enough for me to fix their problems and to cherish these days. And I think maybe it's the age that brings on all the extra crying. My little guys are 3 and 4 and I feel like lately they've been crying over everything. haha! Oh their little emotions are just too much I guess. π Also, just to make you feel better, I sent my son to preschool without shoes last month. haha!
Pearl says
That's so funny…I know Yebin would totally do something like that..But you're right on how we can fix most of their problems right now and later in life we'll just have to learn to let go..
Sarah says
Oh, it's not just my girls!!!:) And it makes me so much better that you've done the same thing too! Thanks for your comment! π
Sarah says
feel so much better I meant.;)
Claire says
hi sarah! i LOVE your blog! you have a wondeful family. Tyau is chinese name right? is your husband full chinese? π
Jamie Nicole says
Maybe they're learning that they get whatever they want by crying long enough? It sounds like you cater to your girls a lot and maybe it's just their way of getting what they want. I don't mean it in a rude way because I know young ones tend to be pretty emotional over small things but still. It has to be difficult to have both of your girls upset and crying a lot.
Sarah says
Hi Claire,
Thank you so much for reading my blog! Yes, Tyau is a chinese name and my husband's part chinese. π
Sarah says
Are you Chinese?
Sarah says
Hello!
I had to think hard about that one, I do think I cater to their needs and wants a lot, is that not normal? haha. If it's not endangering them or bad to their health like candy and juice, and simple requests like getting them more milk or reaching for something they can't reach, I help them everytime. But only after they stop crying/whining and ask me with their nice voice and say please. π
Nat says
Hey Sarah!
Love your post! Ha, some days go better than others…for sure!
I have 3 kids, 1 girl (middle child)…she is 8 now, but we had crying episodes daily. Trust me when I say, I don't cater to crying! My daughter knew the family motto: "We don't get what we want when we cry".
But seriously, some girls are more emotionally driven than others. I did discover something that worked for us…and it's posted here. We call it Princess Love Therapy.
http://www.doodlecraft.blogspot.com/2012/01/princess-love-therapy.html
I know your girls are younger, but I am now doing a "boy" version for my 3 year old son. (he has a hard time controlling his temper) I know that it helped us immensely! Might just be worth a try! π
Hang in there–you have a terrific support system! π
Nat
Jamie Nicole says
Those requests are valid. I think it's great to have the girls stop whining and ask with their nice voice before doing what they'd like.
When you wrote the original post it flashed me back to when my sister and I (a year apart) were young and we would bug my mother until we got our way. Whether it was ice cream, spending the night at a friend's house, riding bikes too far down the block, going outside after dinner, staying up late to watch I Love Lucy re-runs, etc. We learned really quickly that we just had to whine and keep asking "Why?" until she finally said "YOU KNOW WHAT! DO WHAT YOU WANT. I DONT CARE ANYMORE." and off we pranced with a smile. Terrible!
I couldn't imagine raising two girls close in age. My hat goes off to you!
Claire says
No i'm not Chinese but i know someone who has the same surname and she is Chinese π
Sarah says
Haha, I bet you got away with a ton of things with that tactic! π
Sarah says
I love that motto, I think I will use that with my daughters! π I respect people who have more than 2 kids, so my hats off to you! I'm off to check out your blog post, thank you for your comment.
Sarah says
Cool, yeah Tyau isn't a very common name. π