I’m so tired/frustrated/angry right now!!! my youngest daughter ana has been crying and screaming for a little over 3 hrs. now. it’s past 1 a.m!!! i’m heartbroken that she’s been crying for so long, her poor little throat and how red and puffy her eyes must be… i feel terrible for the renters in our basement who can hear it all, who happens to sleep right below ana’s bedroom, i feel helpless because i lied down with her for 2 hrs. pretending to be asleep, hoping she would follow my lead and fall asleep but no- everytime i opened my eyes she would be starring right back at me with her eyes wide open, so i got frustrated and just put her in her crib and walked out of her bedroom-thus causing her to be screaming and crying for over 3 hrs., i feel more stressed that it doesn’t bother my husband one bit, that our child is crying and screaming, nor does he feel bad for the renters because he says, “there’s nothing you can do so why stress?” ARGH. that makes me stress more.
i have no idea why she’s all the sudden like this the past few weeks. she’s been such a good sleeper most of her life, we have a schedule of bathing, praying, reading books,singing, and i do this shadow puppet show for her, then we spin around in the rocking chair, then i hold and kiss her and tell her how much i love her, and put her in her crib and without a cry or a fuss, she would lie down in her crib, i close the door and we don’t hear a sound from her the whole night until about 12 hrs. later. she was such a doll so what happened? i don’t think she’s teething, is she scared of the dark? i tried the night light but she still cried. is it the terrible two’s? she’s turning two in a week. maybe they just get really clingry and needy at this age? last night i slept with her on the floor, right next to her crib because she didn’t want to go in her crib. but i need my alone time, i can’t go to bed with her every night! i NEED my alone time when the kids go to sleep, the only time in the day when i can do something for myself and do whatever i want to do(after washing the dishes and cleaning that is), and not worry about the kids. so what do i do??? and do you get so angry and frustrated too when you hear your kids scream and cry for a loooong time? i don’t swear but oh boy do i want to say some swear words out loud like every 2 minutes!
dotblogg says
oh…:( I'm so sorry..:( maybe she had a bad dream and now she remembered it and she's affraid of sleeping and having the same dream again? I hope it will be better soon:(
hugs
J.
Wynter says
I am in the same boat as you, we also have the same bedtime routine – shadow puppets. π I couldn't figure out why she has been acting up the last couple nights. She is also turning 2 on the 25th. Maybe thats what it is… I feel horrible but I know that she will have to work things out herself. I have to just keep telling myself, she isn't sick, hungry, she is clean has a clean diaper, she is FINE! Hope things get better for you. Just know you are not alone.
Sugar_Tart says
I feel so bad for you, my "me time" is when my daughter takes a nap and she has decided lately that she doesn't need one. It can be super frustrating just hearing her in her room not crying but singing and yelling to get out of her crib. Some days I just let her in there hoping she'll get tired, because you know if you miss a nap you pay for it later! You are far stronger than me if you can handle the crying though. Hopefully whatever her issue is it will resolve itself soon. In the meantime try to keep your sanity.
Nancy says
oh please, run, don't walk to the nearest doctor and have her checked out. I know of a case exactly like this, and it turned out very bad, so please eliminate all aspects.
Jessica at Me Sew Crazy says
I am so sorry, that is so hard. We have had it happen with both of our girls, and eventually broke down and had to let them cry it out. After 2 – 3 nights they were both back to normal. People have all different kinds of methods, and some people think the cry it out method isn't right – but it worked for us – and our kids still know we are always there for them. Good luck!
Paulette, Jvona & Rachel says
A few things come to mind. To qualify, I am a veteran mom, currently raising 5 kids, ages 11 to 2. I was thinking that your daughter may have an ear infection. Or she may just be at that age when she's testing, trying to see what you're going to do.And whether you'll be consistent. There are certain ages when a child's brain develops and they have night terrors. They're kind of like nightmares, and are totally natural. Use your mommy instinct, and pray. You are deserve your alone time, and you'll get it…most of the time.
-Paulette
Caroline @ The Feminist Housewife says
I can relate…I get so frustrated by crying too!
Honestly, I have no advice. My son sleeps in my bed…I lay down with him and he goes to sleep, and then I get up and do whatever I need to. He seems to sleep really well knowing that I will be back in the room. (He is the same age as your daughter)
*Hugs* Good luck and hang in there! This won't last forever!
Aleisha Z. Coleman says
as the oldest of 9 children i have to agree with paulette…check ear infections first and then i and a few siblings suffered night terrors and so the doctor said to eat a peice of protein right before bed, like string cheese…and then maybe it is the testing two years olds…oh, just so you know ALL of us are sending our empathy and sympathy with you–good luck!
Mike and Shayla says
Oh, that can be so frustrating!
It sounds like you've ruled out pain/sickness. Maybe she's "overtired".
When my kids would get to that point and I knew they just NEEDED to be asleep but couldn't get there on their own, I would give them the appropriate dose of Benadryl (on the advice of a pediatrician). It's not really a sleep aid, but for my kids it did have the side effect of drowsiness and usually was just the thing they needed.
Other things to try would be an earlier bedtime, or a drive in the car.
Lynne says
I found your blog through a friend's and I hope you don't mind me commenting…I've got 3 kids (youngest is 6) and all 3 of them went through this at some point — currently my 6 YEAR OLD is having a hard time!! Whaaaat? I thought we were long beyond this! So frustrating. I haven't figured out what she needs yet, but my son had night terrors and I had him pick out a special night light of his choice…it worked for him. My 1st daughter had an ear infection, so when that was cleared she was 'cured'…I think I also got my son a special friend stuffed animal just for night time. Best of luck and take a nap when you can!
Jacki says
sorry you're having such a hard time and you figure out what works! Crying is so stressful for everyone! I would hate to be upset and cry for three hours. π I hope you figure out what's bothering her! I'm sure you hate for her to be so sad and not know what to do to comfort her.
Love, Mom of 5
Ellen says
this is really interesting….not only is my almost 2yr old (next month) doing the same exact thing…..he is very clingy to mommy, ONLY wants mommy to change his diaper, feed him, help him brush his teeth….he does not want daddy to help…..
I understand it as a phase and as long as I show him I am there, to "indulge" if you will his need, he will feel safe to grow out of it…
also, I just read this article on discipline….don't know if it would be revelant to you at this point! Hope you got some sleep.
We had a night like that the other night and I just took the opportunity to snuggle with my son. I could actually "hear" him sigh when I picked him up and crawled into the spare bed in his room. Yes, I felt like I wanted to be sleeping in my own bed (much more room than on a non-folded out fold out couch….) but its what my son needed. I kept reminding myself of prov 31, "and her children will rise up and call her blessed…" and that's the part of sacrificial motherhood I need to give for my son (and his needs).
Hugs!!!
http://www.itakejoy.com/first-time-obedience-really/
{julee} says
You could take them to the indoor pool in Lehi. Just being in water is exhausting (and fun) and everyone should fall sound asleep, no problem (hopefully). Just a suggestion!
Derek and Amanda says
My goodness, so rough! I have a degree in kids, work in a day care, and work at the hospital with newborns to age 9. I also agree, check for ear infection. I would also try different foods. Sometimes kids can be allergic to something that is upsetting their tummy. But allergies don't usually occur until later. Or it could be a bowel problem. Don't give her any juice. Only water. She also may just be testing you to see how you will react. She is learning control. :p But showing love is most important, as you are already very good at. Good luck!!
Shannon says
I feel bad reading this post, but I am also glad to know I am not alone. My daughter turned 2 in December and we decided to let her sleep with her 4-year-old brother in a full size bed to help her get through the night. It really has helped her and it as given me back some free time at night. I am sure things will improve soon.
MyLyn says
Sarah, I LOVE reading your blog. I love that you admit to having hard days along with your good days. At the risk of sounding creepy, I think if we were to meet in real life we'd be good friends. π
We went through a spurt of the same thing with my son (he turns 2 next month) and not only would he not go to bed, he would wake up at 5am for the day and not take a nap. It's frustrating, exhausting and I totally understand. At our house we get up at 7am and don't have a moment to ourselves til my newborn daughter goes to bed at 11pm. It's very stressful not to get your own time in. Heck, I didn't even get a shower in for a week! I wish I could say I had a magical answer but we mostly had to just deal with it as best we could until the phase passed.
I think you are an amazing mother and wife and know you can get through this! Hope things change soon!
piggie1230 says
I know it's probably cold where you are, but my folks used to take me for a walk (well, they would carry me). We would go outside and something about the change of atmosphere, the quietness of the outside–SOMETHING would make me magically shut up if not settle down and fall asleep. My dad thought it was the street lights.
At the very least, then you wouldn't have to worry about the renters.
Also, I reiterate the earache thing. It actually takes a while for them to express that. And (not to worry you) it's important for their speech development to be able to hear how words are pronounced (all that would mean is that she may need some speech therapy when she was a bit older — I did; apparently I had a lot of earaches).
Alsoalso, ginger does wonders for a sore throat. If she'll drink it, steep a bit of ginger in boiling water for 10-15 minutes (sugar is good to add to cut the spicy) and let it cool off. The ginger helps numb the throat, and if she's congested it helps with that a bit.
Amy says
two year molars. I am just saying that could totally be it. They get another set of molars at two. But also a bad dream is probably what caused it. We have those nights with Axel occasionally too, I think a lot of it is too that they are soo tired they can't snap out of that sleep frustrated state. (Hence the crying non stop) try to take a deep breath and say a prayer and just hope it's only going to be that night.
Sarah says
thank you so so much everyone! i appreciate all the comments so much. i don't think it's the ear infection because as soon as we come in the room or let her stay up later, she's so happy and content. i also asked her if she had any pain anywhere specifically her ears and she said no. but i'm keeping all your advice to heart and trying them all! thank you!
Carrie Taylor says
I feel for you. My youngest who is 2 is starting this same thing. My kids have never slept alone, mostly because I was a navy wife and had the kids with me at night while daddy was gone. But my youngest was always a good sleeper until the last 2 months or so. Now he wakes up crying for no reason. All I have to say is just pray. Heavenly Father gave us these kids and each one is unique. He knows best on what each one individually needs. With my oldest I felt like he needed to be close constantly(hence why he sleeps with me). Turns out he has Apserger's which explains his constant need for attention and reassurance. Not saying she has this just that you never know what they need or why at that age. Now to figure out my 2 year old as well. Good luck and I hope you can figure her out soon.
Alina says
My son is 2 and a half and I can say that he was a good sleeper for most of his life, but we had to "battle it out" a few times for different reasons. Sometimes it was due to teething, others something else. What worked for us was switching the routines that we had at the time. For example, at different points in his life I went from a night light in his room to none and back to one again. I'm wasn't opposed to the crying out method, but didn't always use it for all of the times he "lapsed" back to crying, mainly because in some "crying periods" I felt it was different than a bad sleeping habbit routine. His last stretch at about 2 (magic number :)) I think was due to night terrors and we ended up changing a few things up including addition of the night light, leaving the door open and telling him that we'll leave it open so he's not scared. He'd come stumbling into our room in the middle of the night and we'd take him back and lay down with him till he calmed down or was back asleep. About 2 weeks later we switched it back to the closed door. Kids definitely don't stand still in their development and it's something different every time. Unfortunately there is no right answer except for to keep trying and seeing what would work for her and you. π Good luck!
Laura says
*hugs* I have been there. There were times in the wee hours of the morning, after not having enough sleep for days, when I had to just leave them alone and let them cry, because I was so frustrated and mad that I was afraid I might hurt them.
Each kid is so different, too. I used 3 different methods with the 3 of my girls, because what worked for one didn't work for another.
Try doing your routine, put her in her crib, and let her cry. Go in afer about 10 minutes, hug her and kiss her and lay her down and say good night, or whatever you say. Leave, go back after another 10 minutes of crying (if she stops for a couple minutes, start the "timer" over.) This time just lay her down and say "it's night time". the third time, don't say anything, just lay her back down.
Also, you know your child's cry. If she sounds sad or distressed, don't let her cry. Try something different. If she just sounds mad, that is a good time to try this. This is what I did with my second, and it worked within 3-4 nights (very long nights.) I couldn't do it with my youngest, because she always sounded so sad and pitiful, that I couldn't just leave her to cry.
And of course, like someone said, PRAY, and pray, and pray. π
zaneandtina says
I think that that is the most frustrating thing for women.. that men can simply switch off and we cant! Its not built into their programing like us to stress over our children. They simply say "there is nothing we can do!" and get on with it grrrrr!
LeRae says
Jay has changed so much since adalie! When Adalie was a baby he could NOT let her cry it off but now I guess he's all used to to kids crying.
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