I might have mentioned this before but one of the things I dislike about blogging is that I talk way too much about myself. In real life, I am a very good listener and love to ask questions about other people and listen to their stories. I always say people are the way they are, the way they think because of their experiences and no matter how crazy one’s choices might seem or different from mine, if I take the time to get to know them and why they behave or think a certain way, there’s always a reason. There’s always a reason why people make certain choices that they do. I know my way or my views in life isn’t always right, and I love finding about other people so that I’d be more understanding and open-minded of other people.
Awhile ago, someone left a comment on my blog and said something similar to, “I have decided to stop reading your blog. It has not been uplifting for a long time.” I appreciated her honesty and wished she would explain it further. But two things that came to my mind was 1. I write sponsored posts now. And 2. I don’t write about my thoughts and feelings as much. I have started earning money with this blog starting this past December and it’s been fun and exciting for me. I told you before, but my blog is a stepping stone to my clothing line which is a stepping stone to helping children in third world countries. I have been saving up the money to start my clothing line because for some reason, I want to start my business completely independently, I guess it makes me feel powerful and independent and self sufficient to be able to say I started a company using the money I earned for myself and not through debt or a loan or with the help of someone else? I am and always will be picky with what company/product I introduce you to and it’s only after I read and study up on the product and love it that I agree to write a sponsored post. I turn down many such as just last week I turned down a tampon company, a phone app, a jewelry store, and a clothing company. Will you let me know when I write too many sponsored posts? I write 1-2 sponsored posts a week but I think 3 or more would be way too many. Or will you tell me anything I could improve on or write more/less of? I have a hard head and I can take it. I am very honest with people, sometimes maybe too honest, but as much as I give, I can take it also. And about 2. not writing much about my thoughts and feelings anymore, I realized why. It’s funny because I think about life and values and how I could improve as a person way more than ever before, but with 3 kids, at the end of the day, I am so exhausted the last thing I want to do is to think more and take the time to write down my thoughts. I just want to do something that needs no thoughts or energy from me so I eat and watch T.V. Haha. But like I said in my previous post, I feel like I am finally getting the hang of having 3 kids so I feel like I have more time for myself such as writing down my thoughts!
ANYWAY… so yes I am just talking more about myself. But one thing I would love to see change is I’d love for you to comment here about your stories! I want my blog posts to be a discussion, not just a one-sided story where I talk and that’s that. I read each comment and I love going to your blogs to find out more about yourself! I want my blog to be like a girlfriends hang out where I can listen to you and find out more about you. So please, feel free to comment with whatever that comes to your mind after reading my posts!
And last but not least, tonight was not a good night. I made my kids cry, one of them cried hysterically as I told them I was going to put them in day care starting tomorrow and went on the computer to search for day cares(I don’t think there’s anything wrong with day cares, but for some reason my girls are scared of day cares). They came and stood next to me crying saying but mommy, I will only get to be with you for 2 hours after day care! I was set on sending them to day care because I was done. I was done asking them to do something over and over but feeling like I was invisible and no one cares what I say or do. Of course that’s not true but I felt like it when I cleaned their mess for over an hour but it still didn’t look clean which is so discouraging and I was stressing about Jay coming home and thinking I didn’t do much or I’m not a good stay at home mom. I told my two girls to clean up 3 times and they still were just walking around the house minding their own business. “Do you not have ears? Do you not see me, am I just invisible to you? Are you stupid?” Yes, I asked that last question. I quickly added, “I know you can hear, I know you see me, I know you are not stupid so why are you not listening?” But the girls burst into tears and went in their rooms. And Jay kept going into the rooms to try to make them feel better.
We made up after I started crying while searching for day cares and saying, “I don’t want to put you guys in day care!!!” Then the girls came and hugged me and we cuddled as we all cried(good thing Jay and our son was in the backyard) together. Then I made chocolate chip cookies and read books together and all was better. How grateful I am that kids forgive so easily. And even through all my imperfections and impatience as a mother, they still accept me and love me so much. I believe one of the reasons why God made kids so pure and loving and so quick to forgive is because so they would help the parents to grow. To make us keep trying. To help us to learn to forgive ourselves quickly also and dust it off and try again the next day. To give us hope in trying everyday. If the kids stopped loving us or gave up on us, would we try again the next day?
So my question for you is, have you ever threatened your kids? Did it work? 😉
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I prefer you blog now, with each paid entry you have lots more personal entries to saturate the feeling of being inundated with an advert. Some bloggers who are much more active than you, they frequently blog about paid entries but don't blog much personal stuff as they have become too busy to blog about personal stuff.
I totally feel you on the sponsored post thing–I feel like it can be hard to strike the right balance between making some money to reach your goals, and keeping your blog personal and sincere. Hopefully we are managing to hit the right mix!
And as for threatening my kids–um, yes, pretty much on a daily basis 🙁 I was just talking with my sister the other day about how our mom was such an unusually patient mother that it set sort of an unrealistic example for us! Even on my very best parenting days, I'm still never as patient or caring as she is/was so I always feel like a failure as a mother. My husband always reminds me that we all have different abilities–my mom had a gift for patience, and I don't have that gift . . . but I have something else, I'm sure, that will benefit my children in a different way. I don't know what it is, but I'm sure there's something 😉
(And just on the day care note . . . when Forrest was in the middle of his 'terrible twos' phase and I just COULDN'T TAKE IT anymore, I sent him to daycare 2 half-days a week (I believe it was 3 hours a day, Monday and Wednesday) and I think it was one of the best parenting decisions I ever made. I would get chores done while he was gone, or run errands that were hard to do with a 2-year old with me, or sometimes just sit at home and read a book in silence for a few hours. It was wonderful. He hated it at first and cried when I dropped him off, but within a few weeks he LOVED being there and was excited to go, and I think it helped him develop socially and learn how to interact and play with other kids. And I loved having a little time to myself–either to get important things done or just to relax and rejuvenate–and I actually was excited to spend time with him when I picked him up. I know you were upset and just kind of making a threat out of anger, but if you DO decide on day care for them . . . don't feel bad! I really think I was a better mother because of day care, since it gave me time for myself so I could build up some energy to spend on being kind and patient with him. I'm actually toying with the idea of doing it again this summer, since I'm feeling so overworked and worn out lately.)
(is that the longest comment you've ever gotten or what?! you asked for it . . . )
I enjoy your blog and can't wait to see your upcoming sewing projects. I totally understand the sponsered posts. I'm glad you can make some money on your blog. I also like hearing your opinion. I trust you're opinion.
I have 4 kids and relate so often to your posts. I struggle with kids not listening on a daily basis. I honestly don't know how they can ignore me so well, so your comment on that made me feel better. I do threaten my kids, but it's usually with a loss of a privelage. I so wish I could be the mom who could speak to them quietly and meekly and they would say Yes Mama and do what I asked.
Ah! I'm so glad you titled this post like this! Often times I always want to comment on blogs and share similar experiences I've had, but then I think, "Am I just stealing this person's 'spotlight?'" I don't want to like, turn the attention on myself, so sometimes I don't comment. I enjoy hearing other people's stories, too!
I always enjoy reading your blog because you are genuine, sponsored posts and all. Your story about crying with your girls about daycare made me teary! I remember when I suggested to Ryan that I could go work out at a gym and put Gwen in the provided child-care there while I exercised, and when he expressed how much he didn't want her to be put in a daycare setting, it made me so sad! All I wanted to do was exercise regularly and not have to worry about a babysitter! I got over it after I found a Zumba studio that offered night classes, and now Ryan watches her 2-4 nights a week for about an hour when I'm gone. It's so nice to get a little break from baby duty and concentrate on myself, for a change!
Chocolate chip cookies and story books make everything better 🙂
I think you have a good balance of sponsored & personal posts. There was a blogger I had to stop reading because she's -only- posted sponsored posts for almost a year now. And each post was written like an ad, not a "here's my opinion on a product I was gifted in exchange for a review". Like there was no opinion, and in same cases she even mentioned she wasn't using the product, just read about it when it was offered to her, and they gave her money to write about it.
The writer/blogger had essentially disappeared.
As a non-parent, I really started following you because I like your style, and the projects you had talked about in the past. But I also enjoy the family posts. It makes you less of an anonymous "look what I made/wore", and more human. When I follow a blogger because of their cooking, crafts, or whatnot…when they intersperse tales of their homes & family life, I come to appreciate the things they're creating even more. It's not some faceless corporate thing like Martha Stewart. It's real people sharing their real life and real creations/work, and I feel more engaged in what I'm reading. I feel like that came out sort of muddled, but sometimes it's hard to describe a thought process.
I love your blog! It's impossible to please everyone so you should write what you want to. You are a good writer. I am so glad that you are bringing back your diy fashion posts, although, believe me, I completely understand that having a baby takes a toll on things! You have a gift for sewing and design! Also I am sorry you had a bad night last night but you are a good mom who clearly loves her kids. Every mom has nights like that!
I love your sponsored posts! You are honest and I hey the inside track on what is hot right now 🙂
When I "threaten" my kids, I tell them how much they are hurting my feelings. I think it's important that they realize their choices have an effect, especially on me since it's easy to take me for granted. I have even pretended to cry before just to get my 2 year old to understand his choice had made me sad. It totally worked 🙂
Don't worry about the sponsored posts, we all have to make a living;) I'm so glad that you shared your experience with your kids. I'm going through a similar experience with my boys right now. It's so frustrating! No one really prepares you to be a parent, no one really tells you how to handle situations like that! Kids are so great but they sure know how to bring out the worst in you;)
Hi Naderiey,
Thank you so much for your thoughtful comment! I appreciate it more than you know. Thank you SO much for reading my blog, it means a lot to me.
Sarah
Hi Tamara!
It means a lot to me that you trust my opinion! I'd like to think I am a very honest person and I would never act otherwise on the internet. And 4 kids, hats off to you! I can't imagine having one more than I do now! haha. And I am so glad I am not the only one who feels ignored! It is so frustrating and gets me so irritated. 😀 And I laughed out loud at your last comment. Oh, don't we all wish that movie-perfect moment? I don't think a mother like that exists in real life. At least let's tell ourselves that so we don't feel bad, mmmkay? 😉 Thank you so much for commenting, it means a lot to me.
Sarah
A while ago I lost a lot of blogs from my feed. I just found you today and as soon as I opened the page I knew yours was one of those blogs. I am glad I found you again. I don't really care for paid posts as long as they are honest. This last paragraph of yours though has put tears to my eyes. I related, in a few ways. I guess us moms, SAHM or working, there's always some sort of guilt. I am following again! =D
Oh my Magda,
What a great comment to read the first thing when I checked my email! I am SO glad you found me again, thank you so much for following me and coming back!
And it's so true, no matter what kind of mom we are, we always have mom guilt constantly! But I always say, that makes us good mothers if we feel guilt because
if we were bad mothers, we wouldn't feel the guilt! 😉
I hope you have a great Sunday!
Sarah Tyau
I just found your blog and I can't stop reading. I love refashioning and your projects are amazing! I have 4 kids and I am a stay-at-home mom too. I have totally said to them the same thing about daycare/after-school care. Thank you for being honest about life and parenting and how hard being a mom can be. What a wonderful goal to start a clothing line and help children! Keep up the amazing work. Sponsored posts are fine! As long as you're transparent about them, like you are, and keep doing the other posts that are all you, I feel like it doesn't detract at all from your blog.