Life is Beautiful

Motherhood, Sewing, Family

To All The Mothers: If You Hate Being a Mom, You are a Good Mom.

~ Etc.

This picture captured one of my frustrating moments as a mother, a moment when I said to myself, “Being a mother SUCKS sometimes!!!” 
I dressed my son in his Korean outfit that was meant for him for his 1st birthday but I didn’t get around to throwing him a birthday party then, so a year later, here I was throwing him a super simple birthday party with just us and a photo shoot of him in this outfit for his 2nd birthday. While I was taking pictures of him, I was also making dinner at the same time so I went back and forth in the kitchen to the porch about 6 times to try to get that perfect shot, and cooking, stirring, and seasoning. 

I was about 20 minutes into the shoot that I had to bribe my son with candy for, to get that perfect shot of him smiling super big towards the camera. I said or made some noise, hoping it would make him laugh and while looking through the lens, I saw him give the biggest smile! With my heart beating fast and super excited I thought, “JACKPOT” as I quickly snapped a picture, hoping I’d catch it before it went away. As I pushed down on my camera button to take that picture-perfect shot, I saw a blur pass by in front of the lens. I quickly put my camera down and looked to my left to see who had ruined the perfect picture. It was my daughter who decided that for some reason it was acceptable to walk right in front of the camera in the middle of a photo shoot. I looked at her in disbelief and said, “Why did you do that?” She just looked at me and shrugged, like it wasn’t a big deal. “That would have been THE PERFECT picture, why did you walk in front of the camera in the middle of me taking pictures?” I was so irritated, annoyed and angry at her but I was able to keep my voice down and say it calmly, although it was in an irritated tone. I all the sudden had no desire to take more pictures and went inside to finish making the dinner while I was fuming inside. ‘UGH, why did she not walk in front of the camera the whole time and THE MOMENT I would have gotten THE PERFECT picture, she walks in front of it right then? THE ONLY TIME she did that had to be THAT ONLY TIME Aiden smiled in the direction of the camera!!! GOSH, I HATE BEING A MOTHER.”
Jay could tell I was flustered and he said to me, “It’s just a picture. You can take more.” Oh, don’t you just love how men sympathize so well and know just what to say to calm you down instantly and make you feel better? Ha. I said to him, “It’s not about just the picture, it’s way more than that. This is the story of my life, every time I try to do something I want to do, the kids interrupt or make it harder or just ruin it. And it isn’t just a picture, it was the perfect picture, that one picture I was hoping to get. Now, I have to try all over again in hopes that I’d get a chance at that perfect shot.” He still didn’t get it and left me alone for a few minutes. Then he came out with me to try to help me entertain Aiden and get him to laugh, which worked since Aiden is such a daddy’s boy and loves his daddy, so I ended up getting really good shots of him(you can see here). Jay might not be the best sympathizer, but he is constantly doing all he can to make my life easier.
I wish I could say frustrating moments happen on a rare occasion as a mother and it’s not the norm. But it is the norm. It happens everyday I am with my kids,  especially since I’ve had my 3rd child. 3 is a crowd, guys, it really is true! Not everyday where I think I hate being a mother, but everyday where they test my patience. They whine or fight continuously and by their 6th fight in less than 30 mins., I lose my patience. I am trying to tidy up the kitchen as they’re eating lunch and they ask me to get them more of this, more of that, spill their water more than once,  start bickering, and what I would have got done in 15 mins. of cleaning turns into 40 mins., then right back to cleaning the lunch they ate and the spills and the messes they made. It’s when I am getting ready for church and we are running late and I am struggling just to get out the door dressed and with shoes on, with plans to put on my make-up in the car in 30 secs. that my girls come in the bathroom and ask me to do their hair, or help them to find their missing stocking. “Ugh, I can’t even get ready.” is what I’m thinking while I get them ready and I go to church not looking or feeling my best.
A couple days ago, I had another frustrating moment as a mother when I thought, “Ugh, being a mother is SO hard. I hate being a mom sometimes.” I can’t even remember what had happened for me to say that in my head but I had an immediate thought come over me. “Every time I get frustrated or I feel I’ve had it up to here and fed up, every time I think to myself that I hate being a mother at this very moment, it means I am a really good mother. If I was a bad mother, I wouldn’t get fed up or feel I’ve had it up to here at my wits end. If I was a bad mother, I wouldn’t find motherhood the toughest job I’ve ever had because I would put my needs and wants first and therefore, not get burnt out. I am constantly dropping whatever I am doing to meet their every need and every little wants that they can’t do for themselves. I am constantly getting burnt out because I don’t take care of myself first. And every time I feel my kids are taking me to my max capacity of patience and sanity, it means I am stretching my capacity to becoming more patient, resilient and strong. It means I am a better mother, a better person every time I feel this way.”
I started getting teary-eyed as I felt peace wash over me and a calm happiness. I knew it was right. I am a wonderful mom. I put their needs and wants over mine, and that is why I get burnt out so much. I am so involved in their lives and spend all my time with them and that is why they drive me crazy sometimes. So from now on, every time you have that moment when you hate motherhood and feel an overwhelming, over-flowing feeling of frustration and annoyance, I  want you to smile and say to yourself, “This is good news. This means I am stretching my capacity for patience and becoming that much of a better, stronger person. It means I am a good mother.” And know that you are not alone. We all find this job of a motherhood so so difficult. But it is worth it and more. And the positives out-weigh the negatives by a million-fold. I really mean that. It is so worth it and more. And you are doing a wonderful job, you are a very good mother.

Styled by 5 with Shop & Apparel

~ Etc.

Sweater | Skirt| Flats
As an on-going monthly series, I have teamed up with four other ladies to bring you one piece of clothing styled by 5 different women. Women that look & think differently from one another – hair, religion, location, skin, size, height, style, all of the above. I love sharing my style with you, but I also want you to see clothing I style in other body types so you can find what is best for you. So feel free to check out how Deidre, Kaylynn, Bethany, and Jacque styled this outfit as well! And watch for a new piece of clothing styled by 5 every month.
I have to admit that I didn’t have time to plan this outfit in advance so I grabbed the first thing I thought would work with the sweater and the first pair of shoes I thought of. I didn’t have time to pick out any jewelry or accessories but I don’t mind the simplicity of this outfit! 
*We are not paid to feature the brand, but we do reach out to the brands we love for a complimentary article of clothing for us to all style in different ways.

Sunday Best & Sweetest Things My Son Has Said Lately

~ Etc.

Before I had my third child, several mothers(especially my mom) have told me that the third child is the golden child. They’re not your favorite child, you love your first two just as much, but starting with your third, you just find them so adorable and you are obsessed. They say it gets worse with 4th, and so on! I think a lot of it has to do with having more confidence as a mother since you’be done it twice already and you got the hang of it, and also, you learn to not fret over little things and relax a little and be okay in the chaotic, messy life. Another reason is you know exactly how fast time flies by, especially the infant & the toddler stage so you live in the moment and take it in full. When my son throws a tantrum, I sit back and not get as frustrated because I know this stage will be short and it’s honestly a little cute how the worst thing that’s happened to him is me saying no to juice. What a life our kids live in, right? What a life!

Here are some adorable things my son has said to me lately to drive me even more crazy:

  • “Mama? Eh-eee-dn loooobe mama.” (Aiden love mama.)
  • “Mama funnnn.”
  • It’s always a battle to get him in the car, as soon as I slide open the van door, he runs to the back and sits in his sister’s car seat and refuses to come sit in his car seat in the middle row. So last week I sighed and said, “Okay, fine then, we just won’t go.” and pretended to go inside the house and closed the door. I let 30 seconds pass by and when I went back to the car, he gave me the biggest smile with his head tilted to his shoulder(trying to be all cute, this sneaky one) and as he climbed willingly onto his car seat, he looked at me and said, “Sooooooory.” while flashing his big dimpled smile. I die!!!
  • We picked grapes in our backyard yesterday and we came inside and washed them and we were eating it together. Then all the sudden, he grabs the bowl and runs away while laughing and saying, “My grapes!” I chased him and wrestled to get the grapes back and he kept repeating this and one time instead of chasing him, I sat there and just pretended to cry with this dramatic sad face. He immediately put down the bowl and came to me with a frowned face and gave me a hug and kept whimpering, “No, mama, no mama.” Then he ran back to get the bowl and with his killer smile again, he handed it to me while saying, “Mama, grapes? Eh-eee-dn share.” 

See? How can I not be obsessed with him? And I just love men in suits and a little boy in suits? Oh my gosh. And MY boy in a suit? OH MY GOSH. My heart suffocates because I can’t take it.

Suit | Shirt | Shoes | Bow-tie
My son’s suit pants are low-rise and when he wore another brand of diapers, the pants would sag so low, I had to safety pin the back from falling down! And he looked like a little gangsta. Not the look I want, especially when he’s wearing a classy suit. The new Pampers Cruisers diapers are super thin and there’s no sag or the big butt action going on! I was very pleasantly surprised at how thin the diapers are, which means it won’t take as much room in my diaper bag which I am all about! I can fit 6 diapers in my diaper pouch instead of the 3 I used to squeeze in. Then of course I had to see how absorbent the diaper is, being super thin and all, and it passed with high ratings! It holds the wetness evenly and there was no leakage. I used another brand before but Pampers Cruisers thinness has sold me, I am switching to these now! And this is coming from someone who is a very brand-loyal customer, if I like one brand, I stick with that brand and don’t deviate, so I used the other brand for all 3 of my kids up until now.
If you purchase the Pampers Cruisers at Target, they’re having a $10 and $30 giftcard to their store with the purchase of 2. 

My coat is actually a jacket but I wear it as a dress.:) I’ve been wearing this as much as I can, I am in love with this dress/jacket so much!

    I was selected for this opportunity as a member of Clever Girls and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own.

    Being a blogger has made me greedy

    ~ Etc.

    This is NOT a sponsored post. Haha, you guys, sponsored posts galore this week, I know! And I am suppose to post two more this weekend, I know!!! I am cringing over here too. I won’t have any one week and then BAM! They’re all due in the same week. I feel like events are like that too, I won’t have any fun events for awhile and then BAM, there are so many on the same day. Last time I had a ton of sponsored posts was back in Christmas time, when I started earning an income from this blog and I didn’t really know what I was doing so I replied yes to them, not knowing that meant according to their timeline. I’ve been blogging regularly for 5+ years and never really made any money until 8 months ago, and I will be lying if I say I didn’t enjoy it! It’s fun making money! And bringing an extra income for my family. It empowers me actually, to know that I am contributing financially to our family and I’d survive in case something happens and I need to be the bread winner in the family. It’s a sense of peace and calm I feel that I could be supporting this family of mine if I ever had to.

    And making money blogging is super fun and easy, I am going to be honest! To give you an example so you can see what I mean, I recently did a sponsored post with Krispy Kreme donuts to promote their new cake batter donuts and cake batter shakes. First I agreed to it because we go their on an occasion and love their donuts, and second, for my kids’ half birthday tradition, I take them to go get a small treat like donuts or cupcakes, and go to the dollar store where they each pick out 2 items. So I thought, their new cake batter donuts and shake? How perfect for my daughter’s half birthday! So for this post I received a $35 Krispy Kreme goftcard and $350 cash to write one blog post. For going to get donuts with my kids and taking a few pictures and posting about them? Isn’t that so easy and fun? And of course I am always honest about every brand or product I feature on my blog and will never say I love something when I really didn’t. I recently had a spa company tell me they no longer want to collaborate with me(I received a $150 credit to their spa/salon every month for a blog post) on working with me further, after trying our partnership out for 2 months, because I had negative experiences there and I refused to sugar coat it and only say positive things like she had wanted me to. I respect her decision and of course there are no hard feelings whatsoever and I wish them the best. Another fun campaign I did was with Pier 1, it’s probably one of my top favorite campaigns ever! I got to pick out a bunch of items to keep that was worth $1400 and post about it and got $600 cash on top of that. I know no blogger really discloses how much they earn on their posts but I am just super open about things and you can ask me anything about blogging and I will tell you everything.

    So can you see a little bit of why it’s so easy to say yes to these campaigns and so hard to say no? And how one could become a little greedy? Haha. I do feel like the more I earn, the more fun it is and the more I want to earn, which makes sense because money doesn’t bring you true, lasting happiness and I can understand why some people become obsessed with money and become a workaholic! You want more and bigger things because you are basing your happiness on money and in the end, money doesn’t bring you happiness so you’re never satisfied so you keep wanting more and more. It’s a dangerous cycle.

    So lately I’ve been pondering about me getting greedy and writing sponsored posts and you guys, if I was in your shoes and I was the reader, I’d personally be turned off. So I don’t blame you if you feel this way. And I don’t want to lose my awesome readers because I put making money over the happiness of my readers, because keeping my readers happy triumphs over making money. And I have been taking on way too much, way more than I can handle, and it seems it’s been awhile since I knew what it felt like to just be a mother. And not an income-earning blogger. I’ve been trying to do it all, but it’s not possible. I’ve been volunteering to help in my kids classrooms, taking on sponsored posts, entering the sewing competition, trying to help my parents out more in their older, fragile age, taking the kids to piano lessons, soccer games, playing with them, making a costume for Alison Faulkner, getting my skirt manufactured…… it’s just too much. And I am not doing well in many of these areas, the house is dirtier, I am more impatient with the kids and resent how I can’t put my clothing line at my highest priority and give it my all, I have honestly forgotten to go to Young Women activities for my church calling because I’ve been so busy, I sleep less and go to bed super late, thus not as attentive or happy during the day with my kids, it goes on. I can’t have it all, all at once. If I focus on something, another thing lacks. That’s how life works. So I need to focus on the most important things, things that if I don’t do, I know I’ll regret on my deathbed. That’s been my motto lately, to not do things or do things so that I won’t have regrets on my deathbed.

    So my highest priorities should be:

    1. Being a good wife and making Jay happy. Which means I need to clean more. Hahaha, he told me if I was more clean(like become OCD clean like himself), I’d be perfect. So that means I need to stop being so busy and have time to clean.

    2. Being a patient and happy mother to my kids. Not be too tired to help with their homework, not being on my phone while I am with them(I am addicted to my phone. There I said it!), going to my daughter’s soccer practice and lessons and watching her instead of dropping her off and running errands, not blog or check emails while they kids are with me, give them my full attention, focus and energy while I am with them.

    3. Help my parents out more. Go to my parents house everyday and make them food, help with my dad, hanging out with them more, spend time with them, take my dad swimming or exercise with him since he doesn’t have the motivation to exercise by himself, have them be in my top 3 priority right now.

    4. Launching my clothing line. I actually have been putting this off for so long. I’ve been getting very strong promptings to do it the past couple of years but I pushed it away saying I don’t have time, I want to be a stay at home mom, and finding excuses because if it was me, I wouldn’t do it until my youngest is in school full time, so not for another 4 years. But I know this is what God wants me to do and I’ve had conflicting issues with this because in my LDS culture, being a stay at home mom is the best thing you can do and very strongly encouraged. So I’ve learned that God works with each person in different ways and that’s why we shouldn’t judge others for their choices because we never know why they are choosing to do something. I will still be a stay at home mom but my son might need to be babysat or go to half day care a couple times a week.

    So another reason why I’ve been trying to earn more money through blogging is because I want to save the money to get my designs manufactured. So that’s probably a huge reason why it’s so hard to turn down campaigns! It’s more money that’s going into my savings for launching my clothing line, which I hope will support me in helping children in third world countries.

    Okay, I am getting sick of talking about myself now, if I was verbalizing this, my mouth would be tired from all that talking. Haha. So my moral of this story is, I realize I have been getting greedy and getting caught up in earning money, and I want to slow down. And focus more on my family. I also miss blogging just whenever I felt like it, and not having deadlines. So I am not saying I will stop all sponsored posts, or stop blogging, but I need to slow down and focus on the things that really matter in the end. I will never regret turning down a certain campaign on my deathbed.

    The end.

    Now you tell me your thoughts about this post, have my sponsored posts been turning you off? What advice do you have? And tell me your dreams, your frustrations. your goals. I hate this part about blogging, I can’t really get to know you! Or hear about all your stories. So I’d love to read about your goals or frustrations. I read each one of them and love getting to know you.

    10 Fall Hairstyles I Dream of Trying

    ~ Etc.

    I am good at sewing. But I am not good at doing hair. But one thing that sewing and hair have in common is that they are both skills that anyone can learn, if they are shown how to do it. I dream of having beautifully styled hair like these below. I picked out 10 of my favorite hairstyles I’ve seen from the internet, they are just so elegant, classy and beautiful! 

    1, 2, 3 via Sortra
    via The Small Things
    via Twist Me Pretty
    via Byrdie
    via Byrdie
    via deer pearl flowers
    via deer pearl flowers
    via hair romance
    My problem is, I don’t have the time to attempt to do these. I barely put on under 1-minute make-up in the car as I park at my kids schools or while running errands. That’s honestly where I put my makeup on the most. I feel putting on a little bit of makeup is almost a necessity(it makes me look less tired and more confident), but hair is not, it’s just a nice bonus, which is why I hardly do my hair. But one thing that is not just a nice bonus is washing my hair. My hair gets very oily and dirty looking if I don’t wash it for a few days, even my husband have told me several times, “Um, hun? Maybe you should wash your hair because it looks really oily and like you haven’t washed it in many days.” I say, “Oh, really? It’s because I haven’t washed it in many days!” Hahaha, so sad, but it’s the moms life, ya’ll! Another truth about moms life is that many moms, including myself have said after having a baby, they not only experienced the thinning of hair, but also loss of shine and luster. Yes, add one more to the many things us moms have to sacrifice. Can you tell I am a little bit bitter? Don’t get me started on that topic. But I will come right back and always say the darn kids are worth all of it. They truly are worth all of it. I just wish it was more fair and men could have babies or at least nurse, don’t you agree? 😉
    So I am always open to trying out new products for my hair to keep the shine and health and I tried this CLEAR SCALP & HAIR™. The first thing I did when I received it was to look at the ingredients and unfortunately, it has sulfate in it so it didn’t pass. I recently learned that sulfate strips away your natural shine and damages your hair in the long run and is a cheap filler that makes it look like it works and makes your hair look healthier when it doesn’t. But I had agreed to try this product so even though I was hesitant to use it, I did. One thing I did like was that it smells really nice! And to my pleasant surprise, it did make my hair look healthier. And shinier, and smooth. I just wish it didn’t have sulfate in it, that is the only thing that stops me from using it continuously. 
    *picture taken during the usage of CLEAR SCALP & HAIR™ for a modeling gig.

    *picture taken during the usage of CLEAR SCALP & HAIR™
    CLEAR SCALP & HAIR™ focuses on the scalp, where 99% of hair’s natural strength comes from. Their Intense Hydration Nourishing Shampoo and Nourishing Daily Conditioner deliver the following benefits:
    • Hair is resilient to dryness for 24 hours of soft, hydrated hair
    • Infused with cactus extract, a known hydrator
    • Clinically proven to help replenish the scalp with essential hydration with regular use
    • Leaves hair beautifully strong from root to tip
    • Formulated with Nutrium 10™, an advanced moisture complex of vitamins and nutrients including vitamins B5, C & E, sunflower, almond, soybean & coconut oils, glycerin & aloe vera
    It’s available at Target.com and Walgreens.com for $4.99 – $5.99.

    I was selected for this opportunity as a member of Clever Girls and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own.