One of the hardest things about being a mother for me is not having much alone time. As much as I can be a social butterfly and love being in the presence of my family & friends, I love being alone even more. It’s when I organize out my thoughts. It’s when I fill up spiritually, mentally & physically and how I find my balance. I crave being alone and cherish those rare moments I get.
The hardest thing about being a mother for me is being tired and sleepy all the dang time. All day, everyday, at every moment. I could nap at any given moment in the day, if only I could. I know this is a phase with a newborn especially and it’ll get better, but when I’m tired, I’m way more irritable, less patient, and way less fun. Yesterday, I was rushing to get myself ready and also change my baby’s diaper, bundle him up, pack the diaper bag, put him in the car seat and buckle him up, a process of about 15 mins. all so that I could go pick up my two kids from school 5 mins. away and come right back. As I drove to get my girls I thought, “I am so tired and sleepy, and I’m so dang tired of always being so tired and sleepy! I just want to cry!” And cry, I did.
So a couple months ago, I had the urge to go to the bathroom to go number two(come on, I know you all do it too, don’t be shy!), I walked to the bathroom and closed the door and the moment I sat down on the toilet seat, I hear the door open and in comes my two always energetic, never tired little girls. One sat on the sink counter and the other set up a card in front of me so I could play a game with her. As my stomach was squished on my thighs so I could reach the cards to play and trying to concentrate both on game playing and you know what, I thought, man! They just never leave me alone! When I pee, they follow me, when I poo, they follow me, when I nurse, they follow me and sit right next to me in the rocking chair, they just never let me have any alone time or some peace! So I quickly kicked them out of the bathroom. Then I made a rule for my girls to abide by. When mommy is in the bathroom, you can’t come in, you have to leave her alone. I told them a few times to instill the rule in them hard and strong. When they tried to come in after that, I always reminded them of the rule and off they went away each time.
That went on for about a week and one afternoon as I was sitting on the toilet by myself, it hit me. They love me so much, they always want to be with me. They like me so much that they’re willing to come sit right next to me while I’m on the toilet. They like being around me so much that the smell doesn’t bother them one bit.! They’re still so little and innocent, they don’t think it’s weird at all that they come hang out with me in the bathroom. How long will this last? How long until they say, “Ew, that is so gross, mom.” and willingly leave me alone to have some peace, even without me asking them to? How long until they don’t dare step one foot in the bathroom while I’m doing my business, even when I beg them to come inside to hang out with me?
So since that day, that rule has been abolished. Since that day, the girls know that the bathroom door is always open for them. It’s actually been good for me as I’ve become quiet the multi-tasker, concentrating on playing board games with my girls while concentrating on pushing at the same time! It’s a talent I tell ya! But in all seriousness the truth is, I may be tired and I may be craving some alone time, but when this moment is gone, I will crave this moment so much more.
