Sometimes I get overwhelmed. I read an article once that said people are choosing to have children later on in life and one of the effect of that is how their kids will have to take care of young kids and their aging parents at the same time. Even though my parents started having children in their late 20’s, I am the last of 5 children so by the time I was born, they were both in their late 30’s. Me being the only child that live near them and the next closest one lives 10 hours away, I am the sole responsibility of my parents and it does get overwhelming at times.
Just as I was working on writing this post that was due this morning, my mom called to tell me that my dad’s car won’t start and she stopped driving her car a few years ago(because of my dad’s paralysis, he can’t drive her SUV), so she needed me to take her to her doctor’s appointment(that I had called and made an appointment for since she doesn’t understand English sometimes and doesn’t know how use the internet). So I had to drop everything I was doing and got my toddler ready and drove my parents with my toddler in tow, drove back, I have just a little bit to work on this post, then I have to go pick my parents up, pick up my son’s friend for carpool, take them to their school 20 mins. away, then 15 mins. later, I have a parent teacher conference for my other child. Then I will have a little bit of time to work on this post again, then the kids will come home, feed, help with homework, read, make dinner, and clean the house before Jay comes home. Oh! And I need to go vote! But I don’t have time to stand in a long line so I am not sure what I am going to do. Writing this all down is making me have more anxiety haha!
I am not pitying myself or complaining, I am merely explaining to you why I feel overwhelmed at times. I am not unhappy about it, it’s just the way my life is and I am okay with that. I was just texting my husband today to let him know just how lucky he was that his spouse is a stay at home parent. Do working parents who have a stay at home spouse realize just how lucky they are? It is such a luxury! I don’t think my husband works less than me, he probably does more than I do since he is the most hardworking, not-lazy person I know but when he goes to work, he only needs to worry about his work. He can put 100% of his attention and focus into whatever he needs to be doing. I envy that so much! With me as a stay at home parent, I don’t get to put myself first, even if I make an income and I have a part-time job. With Jay, he gets to put his deadlines and reports and presentations first and put everything else on hold for that moment, but with me, just like this post that was due 4 hours ago, I am dealing with my kids’ schedules, my parents’ schedules and they come first. I so wish I could put 100% of my focus and time into one thing at a time
As I was thinking about this on my drive home after dropping my son off at school, I decided to shift my perspective a bit. Instead of feeling exhausted and overwhelmed, why not realize that being in a position to help someone else is such a blessing in it of itself? I am healthy, I am happy, I have a car, my parents trust and rely on me, my kids trust and love me and depend on me, and my husband trusts me completely with taking care of things while he’s at work. What a blessing that I am in the position to help others! If I am in a position to need help, what a blessing it is that I have so many family and friends that love me and deeply care about me that they would help me? And why not ask the Heavens to help me to feel energized and not overwhelmed? To ask for the strength, the energy and optimism to help those in need? When my perspective changed, I immediately felt more energy and I felt a calmness wash over me. I rely on myself so much and try to do everything myself but I need to keep reminding myself that I have help from the universe who’s power is limitless.
Another thing that has helped me feel more calm and have less anxiety is having Bay Alarm Medical in my parents’ home. Bay Alarm medical let me try out their product for 2 months and even though I live just a few miles away from my parents, I don’t feel it’s close enough. My mom doesn’t have a cellphone nor does she use the internet and while my dad has a cellphone, he always forgets to charge it so it’s as if he doesn’t even have one. I think in the past 6 years of him having a phone, I’ve called him twice on his cellphone. He never carries it with him!
I wish I had this installed at my parents house when my dad had a heart attack last Christmas. No one knew he had a heart attack until my mom woke up in the middle of the night and went to check up on my dad in the computer room and found him unconscious. I was in Hawaii and was pretty shaken up when I heard about it, but knowing I was too far away to be there for him. It is super simple and easy to set up, you just need to plug it in, then plus in the phone cord and that’s it! It comes in a necklace, a presser and also as a bracelet to make sure my parents will have easy, instant access whenever they need help. Luckily for the last 2 months we’ve been using it, there was no need for them to press HELP but knowing that immediate assistance can be there when I am away has given me such ease and calm. My parents will continue to age and get less dependent and more reliable on me and I know I can’t do it all by myself. I am all about finding outside resources and help to ease the responsibly that has been placed on me, a responsibility that I am lucky to carry.
This post is in partnership with Bay Alarm Medical.