A bad mom moment

May 13, 2015~ Etc.

This is a picture of my sweet little baby girl who is now 6 yrs. old. Today she fell while running in the house and started to cry because she was hurt. I usually always drop whatever I am doing and run to her to kiss her boo boo and cuddle her but not today, I’m ashamed to say. All because I was blogging and/or answering emails. I just asked her if she was okay while sitting in front of my computer on my chair. So stupid.

Then later my son and I went on a scooter ride, when he fell and started to cry so I immediately ran to him and hugged him and kissed his boo boo. Then it reminded me of how earlier today I didn’t do the same with my girl. Feeling like a failure and a bad mom, as I tucked her in at bedtime, I cuddled her and said to her, “Remember when you fell earlier today and I didn’t come to you to hug you and make you feel better?” I wasn’t done talking but she started to bawl. It was those really deep cries where I could tell it was a deep hurt I had caused her that she had buried and it all came out when I brought it up and acknowledged her feelings. I hugged her tighter and while I gave her hundreds of kisses I promised her that I would never do that again. That I would stop whatever I am doing and I will always come to her to hug her and to kiss her boo boo. We promise kissed and we talked a little more and laughed at the funny things that happened today and I left her room as I wished her a sweet dream.

My sweet darling girl, I will always come to you no matter what I am doing. Nothing is more important than you and I am sorry my actions didn’t convey it today. I will come to you every time you get hurt from now on. That is my promise to you.

Have you had a bad mom moment lately? It always makes you feel better when you realize you’re not the only one, doesn’t it? 😉

Sunday Best

May 12, 2015~ Etc.

dress: h&m | shirt: gap | heels & belt: ?(super old) | bag: brahmin(similar 1, 2, 3)

As I get older, I gravitate more towards simple and classy styles. I still like to wear things that are vintage or trendy and everything in between, as long as I love it, I don’t care if it’s in style or not. It’s fun to mix styles and not only wear just one style, it makes it more fun and matches the mood that I am in.

And my husband has given up on my styles, did I tell you that? I asked my husband if he liked my outfit a few weeks ago and he said to me, “I gave up a long time ago, so yeah I don’t care. You can wear whatever you want, I like whatever you decide to wear now.” Not that his preference for my style really mattered before but I guess it doesn’t matter even more now! After all, marriage is all about accepting each other the way we are, don’t you think? 😉

My Angel

May 11, 2015~ Etc.

This is my mom in her late 30’s. She is the most pure & kind-hearted, giving, happy, innocent, sweet and loving person I know. Growing up she loved acting, painting, sewing, and won 1st place in a math competition. She is the most patient person & raised 5 kids without ever yelling once. our house was always full of guests and friends and she is always serving others. I’ve never known her to have drama or have contention with anyone. I don’t know anyone that doesn’t like her and if there is someone that doesn’t like her, then there’s something wrong with that person.

She always supported my dreams so when I told her I wanted to be a singer, she bought me a karaoke machine & when I told her I wanted to be a fashion designer, she bought me a sewing machine. she is my #1 fan & a supporter. She is almost too pure and perfect to be on this earth, she is what Angels are made of. I love you so much mom, happy Mother’s Day to you. 사랑해요/I love you!❤️

How do I find balance with everything that I do? Well, I will tell you!

May 9, 2015~ Etc.

This is a sponsored post by Legg’s, the pantyhose brand and I’ve been asked to write about how I find balance doing so many things being a “super-mom and an incredible blogger”, their exact words. And as kind as they were to say that, I am here to tell you that having balance is all a lie. No one has perfect balance and it’s a constant struggle for me trying to balance my life.

This is my first child, the day I became a mother. It was such a surreal, positive experience(thanks to the epidural!), one of the happiest days of my life. And a start to motherhood that I was not prepared for.

This was our first outing, at just a month old. This photo makes me want to cry, now she’s 7! It’s so true how they say when you become a mother, the days are long but the years are short.

My life is a constant chaos guys. I’ve said this before and I’ll say it again, when you have 3 kids, life is chaotic all the time. It’s even harder to find balance than before. The above picture is my sewing machine table right now as I type. It’ll look just like this by the time you read it, and I am sure for another couple of weeks. It looks so clean and organized, doesn’t it? Like I have my life together and everything’s in order and perfect, the way it should be?

Today was a tough day for me. My son was super whiny and we had so many of my kids’ events going on, I had to go out at 11:20, then 12:50, babysit two neighborhood kids, then out again at 4:20. I had to wake up my son right as he was falling asleep to go pick up my daughter, thus waking him up and starting the whole nap routine again after I picked her up. Then I had to wake him up in the middle of his nap to go out again for my 1st grader’s Mothers Day performance. Feeling exhausted and moody, I met my husband at the school and tried to listen to my daughter sing as my two kids sat next to me fighting for my attention. My 1st grader was so adorable as I knew she would be. She loves the attention and is born to be on stage, she just loves it. I tried to enjoy the moment as I was thinking of all the things I had to do the rest of the day and feeling irritable and exhausted. Why is it so hard to do the things I need to do for me? Why do I have to work around everybody else’s schedule and my schedule and my to-do lists come very last, no matter how urgent it is? Why does Jay get to do whatever he wants and we have to work around his schedule? Why can’t my schedule and my priorities be first and not last? Those were my thoughts going through my mind, since it was the first time I had a chance to sit down and had the time to think for myself. Then my 1st grader and their whole 1st graders from the entire school sang this very song for their last performance.

Isn’t it the most beautiful song? The melodies & the lyrics are so angelic and sweet, I imagine this is the kind of music they’ll have in heaven. As all the kids looked at their mommies and sang this song with all the love they could muster for their mothers, I realized that motherhood is suppose to be hard. And all these mothers sitting next to me all found it to be so overwhelming and hard as well, I am not alone! We are all struggling. We are all struggling to do our best, and we succeed in some but fail in many others. We are all trying to constantly find balance but find it impossible to do it all or have it all because having balance is all a lie. It’s not possible! If you focus on one aspect of your life, the other things are in the back burner and doesnt receive your full time and attention and vice versa. But that’s what makes life beautiful isn’t it? Would we appreciate our lives if we could have it all, all at once? If finding balance was easy and we all had perfect balance in our lives? Trying to prioritize and delegate what’s the most important to us and acting upon that is what strengthens our character. It helps us to appreciate the important things in life, since we have to sacrifice for the things we find truly worth while of our time and efforts. Motherhood is such a beautiful calling. Parenting is such a sacred role & such an important calling. And anything that is of great worth is suppose to be of great sacrifice and discomfort and trials. That no matter how hard it is, no matter how inconvenient I find having kids is sometimes, no matter how frustrated and annoyed I get because I want to do things for myself, gosh darn it, I love my kids with every part of my soul and they are worth greater than my needs or wants. That time goes by so fast and my little girl isn’t going to need me so much and I will dearly miss this time with my small kids when they depend on me and need me every single moment of their life. That I need to stop and enjoy each moment and embark in this journey full on and give it my all.

As I was thinking all these things, I had tears streaming down my face and Jay was laughing at me and video taping me crying(thanks honey), and even my 1st grader on stage noticed me crying and was smiling super big and laughing at me! My Kindergartner who was sitting on my lap turned and looked at me and said, “Mommy, are those happy tears?” I looked down at her and as I kissed her sweet baby cheek and hugged her tightly I said to her, “Yes honey, these are happy tears.” And I meant what I said. Nothing but happy tears that I get to be a mother.

dress: h&m | shirt: gap | heels & belt: ?(super old) | bag: brahmin(similar 1, 2, 3)

My two girls dressed themselves, daddy dressed our son and I wore Legg’s nude sheer pantyhose which made my legs look more smooth and kept my legs warm on this cold day.

Bright Night Event

May 8, 2015~ Etc.

Beautiful photographs by Mckenzie Deakins. She was part of my Vegas trip girls and she is so good at what she does! And so, so hilarious!

This is the fastest post I’ve ever done guys, I just went to Bright Night Event and got back an hour ago! Jay fell asleep with the kids and I had planned on hanging out with him so yeah, I have nothing to do, so thought I’d blog. Don’t you love how I post my Disney cruise trip 8 months afterwards but this event I post literally an hour after it happens? Priorities guys, priorities.

Tonight was so much fun and so inspiring. I loved listening to Brooke White sing and speak, she is such a genuine, humble, funny person and I adore her! I completely fell in love with her. I wanted to talk to her but she had plethora of people in line waiting to talk to her and the delicious pizza they served was calling me so…. yeah priorities guys, priorities.

Also, I’ve NEVER had so many people ask me where I got my outfit. So below is the link to my jumpsuit and also some of my other favorites!