- Your husband sees you before going to work and comes home to find you looking exactly the same. Mirror? What’s that?
- Vacation means doing chores for 10 minutes without getting interrupted.
- Vacation means going grocery shopping alone. Hallelujah!
- Vacation means going to the bathroom to do your business and your kids let you do your business, alone for once. It’s a miracle!
- Your favorite times of the day are when the kids nap, your husband comes home from work, and when the kids are in bed.
- You feel so used. For your boobs.
- You tell your husband you need to go to the bathroom and you. take. your. sweet. time. and pretend you’re “going” for the whole 20 minutes.
- You can recite all the words to the songs like Dora the Explorer, Strawberry shortcake, Peppa Pig, and Yo Gabba Gabba, your FAVORITE.
- You put your finger in your baby’s diaper to check if it’s pee or poo, hoping its not the latter.
- When your finger touches something warm and mushy, you think, “man, I knew I shouldn’t have put my finger in!”
- But the next day… You do it again.
- You forgot what it feels like to be bored or have nothing to do.
- You wake up in the morning and your first thought is, “What should I feed my kids for breakfast?”. Instead of, “I need to go pee!”
- Your clothes are considered clean as long as there’s no pee, snot, booger, poo, or vomit on them. Chocolate on the shirt? Leave it, it smells good! As long as it’s not poop!
- You look forward to every holiday, even the little ones you didn’t care for before. Holidays are so much fun with kids.
- You look at your child and think of the love you have for this child, and you feel dizzy and your heart feels like it’ll explode because your heart is too small to contain the love you have for this child of yours.
- You’ve been gone for only two hours and you miss your children so much your heart aches.
- You’re not with your kid and everything reminds you of them. “Oh, my kid would love to eat this, oh, my kid would love to do that!”
- You’re willing to die for your child at any given moment, and it’s never even been a question.
- You go lie next to them in the middle of the night and silently cry because you didn’t play with them more, had more energy, or was patient with them enough.
- You say, “Time for bed!” and you find your child in her room, putting on her pajamas all by herself and you cry because you realize that little by little, she’ll depend on you less and less. That the long-awaited day when they become more independent so you can get more of a break, is approaching way too fast and it doesn’t sound so tempting after all.
