My two girls had their first day of school today.  A few of my friends have asked me, “Oh, are you a little sad they’ll both be in school?”  I would reply, “What?  No, why would I be sad? I’m so excited!  I wish it was longer than just a couple of hours!”  When they asked me what I’ll do during that time, I  told them that on the very first day of school, I’m going to drop them off, come home, sit on the couch, and stare at the ceiling and do NOTHING for 2 hours. Absolutely nothing.  And it’s going to be fantastic.  

I was nothing but excited to have some free time up until… last night, when I realized they’ll both be starting school the next day.  I got teared up as I looked at my youngest and thought, she’s too young, where did the time go?  Then today when I dropped them off, I stayed for 20 minutes to make sure little ana was doing well, to make sure I was there when she got a little shy or nervous and wanted mommy.  But she did not, she happily waved good bye and ran to the teacher saying, “Teachuh, teachuh!” and never looked back.  As I starred into the classroom, I teared up a few times as many thoughts crossed my mind.  Did I teach her to be nice to everyone regardless of appearance or differences?  Did I teach her to stand up for other people who are getting made fun of?  Did I teach her to respect the teacher and to listen and obey?  Did I read to her enough?  She still seems so little, she’s my youngest, my little baby…

As I was wiping my tears away, I remembered my conversation I always have with my daughter Adi.  

me: “Adi, you promised me a long time ago that you would stop growing!  But you just keep getting so big and so smart, how come?!”

adi: (laughing)”Mommy! I can’t control my body!  It just keeps getting bigger!  But don’t worry mommy, you will always be my mommy and I’ll always be your little daughter.  And I’ll love you forever all the way to Las Vegas, all the way to auntie’s house, all the way to Hawaii, all the way to the moon.”

Well, Adi & Ana, mommy loves you all the way to Las Vegas and back, all the way to auntie’s house and back, all the way to Hawaii and back, and all the way to the moon and back, a million times over, forever and ever, even when the time stops still.