Oh Bernina, why are you doing this to me? Why didn’t you come out with this beauty 3 yrs. ago when Jay bought me one of your sewing machines for Mother’s Day and I had a buyer’s guilt for a long, long time because I’ve never spent or had someone spend that much money on me before as a gift?

This is a perfect definition of a desperate want and not a need AT ALL. I don’t need this at all but oh, how desperately I want it! Haha.

 

 

 

 

On Halloween, right when we got to my son’s preschool Halloween party, I heard a bad news. As I was about to get an anxiety attack & wanted to cry, my son spilled popcorn I just bought, all over the floor. “Aiden, I told you to sit down and eat! If only you had listened.” I got irritated at him(he spilled a full cup of milk on our kitchen carpet & took out all the stuffing from a bag earlier) & felt my anxiety getting worse. I had to take a few deep breaths while my son picked up every popcorn into his bag, then he cried into my arms when I didn’t let him eat the dirty popcorn.

Why do I get so overwhelmed & irritated at my kids? They have the ability to make me feel this anger & annoyance that I’ve never felt before. As I thought about it, it hit me why. It’s because when I’m down & I’m in need of someone to vent to & make me feel better, I’m instead taking care of my kids and making them feel better. I’m running on empty and I don’t have any to give, but being a mother requires me to keep going, without an option for a rest stop. It doesn’t mean I’m a bad person or a bad mom, it means I’m human. It’s completely normal to feel anger or annoyance towards our kids. We all feel it. You’re not alone.

As I prayed to know how to control this anger/annoyance, I had a thought. “Put yourself in your child’s shoes and see the world through his eyes. You will understand that he’s still brand new to this vast world he doesn’t know much about but he’s desperately fighting, giving his absolute best, determined to navigate through and thrive. Do you live as passionately & give it your all?” So when I pause & put myself in his, I immediately feel empathy for this little spirit living, making messes, spills & tantrums along the way. But these are no mistakes, it’s part of his learning process, each with a purpose and a lesson to learn. Who am I to scold him or get mad when these are part of being a child, each spills & messes a reason? So be free and be a child, my son. I’ll be here to guide you & help pick up your spills.

 

Talking about this baby stuff is making me reminisce about the times when my kids were babies. I am so baby hungry right now! I have been for the past several months. I was talking to a friend about how we both don’t remember at all when our older kids were babies to ages 5-ish. We can’t recall their chubby cheeks or what their voice sounded like, it’s only from looking at old photos and videos. Isn’t that so sad? Is that how it is for you too? That’s why I try to take photos and videos a lot, because I know soon enough, I won’t remember my youngest’s baby and toddler stage and forget what his cute little voice and mispronunciations sound like. Thank you mom-brain! Seriously though, why can’t we not lose brain cells after every pregnancy and lose our memory? I really am bitter about that. Our memories should be better than before, that’s the least we can receive after giving up and sacrificing so much of our mental and physical capabilities. I can talk about this for hours so maybe this should be another post for another day haha. But am I the only one that’s bitter about all the things that women sacrifice?

 

 

 

 

I literally just got one shopping for all the materials and supplies needed to make our Halloween costumes this year. I need to make it by tomorrow morning. Yep, I am such a procrastinator! Why do I always do this? Haha, every year comes around and I am literally staying up late into the night making the costumes and I say to myself that next year, it’ll be better, Next year, I am going to start 3 months in advance so I don’t stress or feel overwhelmed. Then the year comes and Halloween just creeps up on you! Don’t you feel like this time of the season is so busy?

I got a bunch of felt from Wal Mart thinking they were much cheaper than Jo Ann’s, but they were the same price at $3.99. Wal Mart is actually $3.97, my bad. So if you are a procrastinator like me, go buy it at Jo Ann’s instead and use their 20% off the whole purchase coupon and the 40% off of one item(counts on fabric too, as much as one cut is, whether it be 1 yard or 10 yards!). Get the coupons here: www.joann.com/coupon/, I just show the coupon on my phone at checkout, so easy! I bought these felts last night at midnight or else I would’ve ran to Jo Ann’s to grab them if they were open.

I also got plain leggings, long sleeve shirts and a hooded vest at Deseret Industries, they’re my perfect go to place to buy the basic items you need for a Halloween costume since they range in $1-$3. They actually opened another Deseret Industries in Springville and I got to take a sneak peek last week and oh my, I was so impressed! I posted on my instastory then, but the toys and the dolls were all color coordinated. And they had some amazing stuff, many brand name items. I am actually going to go check it out tomorrow with some of my thrifted-loving friends, check my insta-story tomorrow to see what my finds are.

They grand opening starts today and goes until this Saturday. The address is

and here are some fun things they’ll be doing:

 

Thur., Oct. 27:

9:30 a.m. – Ribbon Cutting with Springville Mayor Wilford Clyde and other local officials,

Cosmo the Cougar, Miss Springville, and the Springville High School Marching Band

10 a.m. – Doors open; Music and free balloons all day; Tote bags given to first 500; Photos with Cosmo until 10:30 a.m.

 

Fri., Oct. 28:

10 a.m. – Doors open; Music and free balloons all day; Tote bags given to first 500

7 – 8 p.m. – James the Mormon (outdoor mini-concert, includes meet & greet)

 

Sat., Oct. 29:

10 a.m. – Doors open; Music and free balloons all day; Tote bags given to first 500

9:30 – 10:30 a.m. – Photos with Cosmo the Cougar

 

And follow me on my instastory and Instagram to see what I end up making! Wish me luck. I’m gonna need it!