I think I’ve said this before, but I never intended this blog to go so “public”. Jay started the blog to document our family and our new baby for mainly us, and then family and friends. Then when I noticed we got a small group of readers from many parts of the world, I got a little nervous after reading an article about a mommy blogger’s baby picture being used on an adoption site, and decided to make it private. But they only let you have 100 private followers and we received more than 100 requests for an invitation. I didn’t know what to do, so we kept it public. Then a couple years later, I felt an inclination to start sewing(that I haven’t done for almost 10 years), and to post them on this blog. I believe it was God’s little guidance, a gentle push. Mad cheesy? Yeah, I agree. But it’s true. Then I gained wonderful, thoughtful, sweet readers like you, and keeping this blog opened up many wonderful opportunities, not to mention a motivation to sew regularly and stretch my creativity. Oh, there are so many things I love about blogging. I love it more than I hate it, or else I wouldn’t keep blogging, and I am so grateful. But there are quiet a few things I hate about blogging. And if it wasn’t for this continuous “push” I feel from God to keep blogging, I think I would seriously think about ending this blog right about now.
I’m not going to stop blogging now, in case a few of you are worried. I definitely won’t be blogging forever, maybe a couple more years, and then this blog will be private, but who knows what the future will bring.
So let’s talk about my hate relationship of being a blogger shall we? I can be such a pessimist sometimes. π
1. I feel like such a narcissist. We live in such a narcissistic world, don’t we? Facebook, blogging, twitter, pinterest, instagram, and yes, I have them all! But I can’t keep up with them all, so I mainly blog and all the others are on a back burner. But still, blogging definitely brings out my narcissism, and this is probably what I hate the most. I felt narcissistic when I got Facebook and was always posting pictures of myself & what I did/ate/make/do, but now that my attention has moved to the blog, the narcissism continues(I think blogs are less time wasting than Facebook though, since blogs are like online journals that your future generations can read, while Facebook is just a “look at me! Look what I did” that lasts less than 24 hours on people’s newsfeed). I’m not blaming Facebook or blogs for my narcissism, I admit it, I was always a little narcissistic sometimes, I do like to tell stories, talk about myself, and take pictures, but when I blog like 4 times a week, I get so sick of myself! It’s always about me, my family, what I did, my thoughts(like this post now:), but I mean, that’s what personal blogs are right? It’s always about me. It’s not like I can write as if I’m another person! If it’s about someone else, something else, it doesn’t matter, it’s my friends, my family, my opinion, my preference, it always comes back to me. And I try not to post personal stuff about my kids or too many pictures of them, but that just makes it worse, because it’s more pictures of me! More about me! My husband hates taking pictures(being in the pictures and taking the pictures for me), so the pictures I post end up being mostly me. I talked to a friend over the phone a few days ago and she told me to post more pictures. I told her, “What? As if I don’t post enough pictures already!” I recently got Instagram and some of my friends have asked me to add them, but I tell them that it’s private, and it’s only for me and Jay. They ask me why and I tell them, “Because my blog is so public and you get enough of me already. Aren’t you so sick of me already? You do not need to waste your time on me more than you already do by reading my blog.” If I am sick of myself, then other people surely are too.
2. We will be doing something and I think, “Ooh! This will make such a cute blog post, where’s my camera?” And then I’m busy taking a ton of pictures and then not be in the moment. One example that I’m very ashamed of is this post. We woke up to some snow outside and we built a snowman and had a snowball fight. In the middle of it I thought, “Ooh, this will be a cute blog post!” And took pictures pretty much the whole time. Even during the snowball fight when I was running away from my kids throwing snowballs at me, I was running backwards so that I could take pictures of them. So pathetic. I am still so ashamed I did that. I could have instead lived in the moment and paid attention to my darling girls instead of worrying about taking not blurry pictures for my dang blog post. I am SO much better now because after that incident, I realized how pathetic I was being, thank goodness. Now, I still have those feelings, “Ooh, where’s my camera, I should blog this!” But then a lot of the times I tell myself, “Shut up, Sarah.(literally. I use those exact words to shut out my thought)” and I make a conscientious effort to be in the moment and remember the details in my mind instead of through the pictures. I have never done anything with the thought of “Ooh, what can I do to make a cute blog post!” beforehand, and oh my, I vow to never become that, and if I ever do become that, that’s the day I will stop blogging. I still take pictures obviously, but not so much the spontaneous events or happenings, but more like trips and big things that I would’ve took pictures anyway even if I didn’t have a blog. And even then, I try to snap pictures very minimally and quickly so I can put the camera away and live in the moment.
3. “What should I wear to this outing? Because I will probably take pictures of my outfit and post it on the blog, so I gotta wear something I haven’t worn on the blog yet.” And instead of throwing on just a t-shirt and shorts, I spend a lot more time contemplating in front of my closet on what to wear. Ugh. It’s worse because I have wonderful sponsors who give me a lot of free clothes(and that is one of the things I am grateful about blogging!) that I have to take pictures and post on the blog within 14 days of receiving them. Then I ask whoever’s taking the picture to “take a full body shot” so you can see my whole outfit. Then I look at the picture that was taken and then think, “Oh, that wasn’t good lighting, it doesn’t show the colors of the top very well…” I don’t ask the person to take the picture again, because that’s just annoying, so I add to my checklist that I need to take better self-timer shots of the outfit later on. which comes right back to the narcissism. I post so many pictures of myself because I have to post the clothes I get from my sponsors. I feel funny looking directly into the camera for pictures because I’m tired of seeing my face so much already, but then I feel funny acting like I’m not looking and it was a candid shot, when we all know it wasn’t candid at all. The latter seems more narcissistic, no? Either way, I feel funny.
4. The privacy of my kids. I am really naive(something I wish I wasn’t), and I trust everyone. So I really honestly think only nice, and good people read this blog. But what if I’m wrong? If you are not nice and good, can you let me know so I can try to block you? Thanks, I appreciate it, you are so nice!:)
5. Sometimes, not that often, someone comes up to me and tells me they read my blog. I get really bashful and embarrassed but I think it’s so sweet and flattering at the same time. But then I think, “Oh crap, she probably just heard me yelling at my kid.”, “Oh crap, she probably saw me just pick my wedgie.”, “Oh crap, I look like crap.”, “Oh crap, I probably smell like crap… and taste like one too.”
6. I’m already addicted to the internet and the computer, and blogging just cultivates it a lot more. Not to mention I stay up much later than I should.
7. Okay, like number 2, this is more what I used to hate about blogging, but now I have under control. I used to care a lot about the number of followers, number of comments, number of visitors, stats, but now, I don’t as much. I used to compare a lot to other bloggers and get jealous and bitter, but now not so much. I used to want to profit from this blog as much as I could, and for a moment that was my main goal, but now it’s not. It’s not even one of the main reasons for blogging. I am happy where the blog is now, and even if I didn’t earn a penny more than I do now, I am satisfied. Of course if chances come my way to earn a profit, I’m not going to decline it, but it’s just not my focus anymore. When I stopped focusing on making this a profit blog, I stopped looking so intensely on the numbers and statistics. Then I stopped comparing and getting jealous.
8. The more I blog, the more I like the attention and the compliments on my sewing projects. There, I admit it. So it’s back to #1, the circle of life!
*For you bloggers, do you have a love/hate relationship with blogging? What are they? I would love to know if other people feel the same way!
I loved reading this post, it is so true! But I just get sick of blogging sometimes as my life is about – what will my next post be on.
I feel embarrassed/silly getting blog pictures when I am out, and then I have to get hubby to take pictures of me at home or when no-one is around haha.
Then again, I would love the free clothes part π
But think of this as well, because you blog you might be getting more pictures than you normally would of your family??
Please don't stop blogging though!
Talitha
I used to have a public blog and made it private a couple months back mainly because I'm a teacher and the privacy issues are a problem. Granted I just blogged about lessons and outfits, but still it was something to be careful with. I first started blogging privately for my husband and I as we started our lives together. I found that it was more carefree that way. I generally said some crazy stuff about the silly things that we would do together. I find that now that I made the blog private I'm more open to say and blog about what I want. There really is no censoring on my part, which is not to say I was lying when I posted publicly but it allows for a bit more honesty. Now I mainly blog about the same stuff. I still talk about my lessons and post outfit photos but I talk less about where I bought something and more about how I'm feeling and doing at the moment. Great post BTW!
I had a blog an 'ego' blog but I was a bit like what you are writing about followers and other bloggers, one day, I just stopped because I got tired of posing for pictures and didn't have time to do it . Usually I read your posts but don't write comments because English is not my native language and I just read and go. I prefer the sewing part of the blog than personal life , so mostly I don't read when it comes to personal life, ( hope it doesn't sound rude)
About the pictures of your kids I think it's risky since you r blog is wellknown and there are lots of hints where you live I think they are exposed , you never know what people can do with pictures..
Regards and thanks for posting
I love your blog! Honestly it's on my toolbar and I check it every day just because it makes me happy for a minute or two. I love seeing what projects you've done or your cute little family. But I understand all of your points. I had a blog a few years ago that was more widely read than my blog now, and in a moment of wanting my privacy back I deleted the whole thing, and now I regret it.
I agree with and have issues with points 1, 2 ,5 ,6. In fact I prefer strangers to follow my blog than people I know as I get embarrassed and it makes me rethink what I include. My husband gets annoyed taking pics all the time and I worry that I waste too much time online as a result!
I also love your blog. I'm so grateful for those of you that do. I know I have learned a lot of things to help make things a little easier for me and my family. So thank you,and please don't stop blogging. Because your great at;-)
I totally know what you mean! I often feel the same way, even though I have less than 20 followers on my own blog.
But I'm not tired of you! Feel assured that your blog blesses your readers! It's a pleasure to sit down in the morning with my cup of coffee and take half an hour of quiet time to myself, reading the handful of blogs that I follow. I love seeing glimpses of the lives of others. The way that you raise your family, your dedication to maintaining modesty while still looking cute, and your sweet spirit all encourage me. You're doing a great job π
What a refreshing read. I have had all the same thoughts as you and as I'm weeks away from having my first baby, I'm currently in the shall I post pictures of bubba or not stage. Undecided, I'm leaving the decision to my husband. I know exactly what you mean about not being in the moment and missing out on life, although I'm much lazier than you and will tend to just enjoy myself and say sod it to the blog…hahaaa. Maybe you need to just get some lazy on :o) xxx
Haha you crack me up Sarah. You're so honest and totally spot on – we are in such a weird social media type everyone in everybody's business. I was just talking to my BFF about how we're so lucky we didn't have facebook during our raging 20's – oh the stuff people post these days! But in terms of your blogging – love and don't you dare stop. I am on the other side, always telling my friends how I need to be more fashionable or cuter and start wearing make-up because of all the cute blogs I see and she says – well they think about that before they post! duh – i guess, my blog doesn't make me money and it's entirely therapeutic and fun to do but of course, we all dream that maybe someday it will be popular like yours and actually generate revenue cuz then it won't feel like such a waste of time and guilty pleasure so enjoy and count your blessings, and ps some of us live vicariously through you so if we aren't obsessed with ourselves, we need you to be so we can enjoy your cuteness and your honesty because we all know motherhood isn't always that easy!
Hi! I love your blog, even that much that i take the time to actually read what you write in it, not just see the pics.
You and your family are wonderful, when I read how you feel about your kids going to school, or having fun, or like now being a bit uncomfortable with blogging i think "hey there is normal people all around the world" , and it's fantastic.
and yes, maybe it's risky to post your kids photos, but as this thing came from God's push, have lots of faith and He will guard you. And I'll pray for that too cause I dont want you to ever stop posting!
Thanks for everything!
I usually do not comment but I wanted to let you know how much I appreciate your honesty and humor. You have a great voice.
I love your blog so much, Sarah! Your family is just too darling, and I love your DIY tips for sewing. I have struggled with the love/hate relationship of blogging and echo the same sentiments. I always feel so vain! But I stopped blogging for awhile, and when I came back I lost a ton of traffic and readers. But I was able to reevaluate why I'm blogging and now I feel better knowing that I'm not doing it to gain followers or to make money, but because I want to. π
I feel ya on these things as well, but your blog is one of my favs so I hope you keep it going π
I think I take less pictures now than when I posted pics on FB! But that's a good thing. And it's because my husband hates pictures hahaha. He keeps me grounded that way. Thank you so much for your comment Talitha!
Good for you! And yes, if it was a public blogs I would post way more personal stuff and it'll probably be more interesting! At least for me anyway haha. Thanks for your comment!
No, not rude at all! And your English is perfect! Thanks for sharing your comment!
That is interesting, if you regret it though, maybe you shoul make it public? You can always start gaining more followers. And if you regret it, do something so you won't have anymore regrets! That is just my two cents .:)
Amen! That's why I take pictures as fast as I can and then stop so my husband doesn't think I'm taking a ton haha. Thanks for commenting!
You are so sweet, thank you so much! Your words mean a lot to me.
Congrats on your upcoming baby! And maybe I should post less, but there are always so many things I want to post! Haha
Your words encourage me and it mean a lot to me, thank you! Thank you for reading my blog.:)
Aw, thank you so much!:)
Haha, thanks for your insight and your support! You seem like a very honest person as well! π
That is a great tip, to post less! I have been contemplating about that, so I guess we will see! Thanks for your comment!
Thank you do much for taking the time to comment, It means a lot to me! And you are so sweet, in so flattered! π you can comment anytime you'd like. π
Thank you so much for your encouragement. And yes, everyone is normal just like everybody else, of course bloggers too! Even the ones that seem perfect. Thanks for your comment!
Hii! I'm an European teenager, and every week I just take a look to your blog, you're so cool! I love how do you make clothes from "ugly" to nice, I really admire you for that! You rock! Hope you continue being this awesome π
I just found your blog for a couple days Γ£ΕΟ fell in love in the same time. Reading yor post gives me a lot of inspirations especially about altering the clothes.
Well, Sarah.. For me to have like this inspirational blog is such a blessed ideas for a lot of people. Sharing the wonderful thoughs Γ£ΕΟ ideas is always good, isn,t it?? Something that can bring "a change" Γ£ΕΟ some "help"
Have a nice day…
Oh, you are so sweet! Thank you so much for reading my blog and for your sweet comment. It meant a lot to me!
Thank you so much! I appreciate your sweet comment, and I'm glad to give you some inspiration! π
I never comment on blogs, just so you know. I am into sewing and I do enjoy looking at your outfits and your creativity. I'm not a follower but I do check up on your blog when I think about it. Anyway, I just wanted to say that these are the posts I love most on your blog. I love how real and honest you are. I read a post you did a way long time ago about motherhood and I loved it. Anyway, I think you are an awesome person and not just inspiring people to look nice but also to really think about some of the things we do in our lives and the choices we make. I know you have done that for me! Just thought I'd let you know.
Thank you so much for commenting, you said you never comment on blogs, and I'm so flattered and it means a lot to me. Thank you!
I totally feel the same way. Before I was a blogger, I was a blog reading junkie. Then I thought, "I enjoy reading blogs so much, I should start my own blog."
I love the fact that blogging can operate as a catalog of your favorite finds and record your projects and memories. Blogging has also provided me with an outlet to connect with people from across world that I wouldn't have met otherwise. I find that aspect to be very inspiring.
On the flip side, I sometimes despise the amount of time involved. Sometimes, I feel forced to post because my readers expect it. Overall, the pros out way the cons and I keep blogging away.
Anyway, It was nice to hear other's thoughts on this subject. I enjoyed reading your perspective.
I just came across your blog & read your love/hate portion. I loved your honesty & transparency. I have enjoyed reading the few posts I have seen this morning. Thanks for sharing! π
Sarah – I've never actually commented on a blog before, but your post has compelled me. In planning my wedding I became aware of the blog world and for two years now I have looked to you women as inspiration, motivation, and encouragement.
I so admire your creativity and absolutely love how honest and open you are about your ups and downs. Oftentimes I find myself wondering how I can be better and make a better life for my family, and while I may not want to discuss these things with friends, I find comfort reading blogs like yours to know that I am not alone. I appreciate that you don't sugar coat your life, but rather tell it like it is – it makes those of us who also get tired and have blue moments and don't want to do that last load of laundry, feel so much better that we aren't super wife either!
Your love for your family and your deep seeded passions come through so brilliantly in this blog. You have given me strength on countless occasions. And I always enjoy reading!
You aren't narcissistic – and even if it feels that way, I say enjoy it and embrace it! This is your blog and we're your readers and followers because we enjoy seeing what you create! Get it girl!
Regarding #2 – don't feel guilty! This blog is something your kids are going to ADORE looking at as they get older. Just as you said, this is a blog for your family to document those beautiful moments. Perhaps you can reframe your thoughts from posting for others to posting for your family. If you take one too many photos it's to get the beautiful non blurry photo of your beautiful family so one day they can look back on it and remember that event! I actually don't have a baby album, it's something my Mom keeps saying that she will work on now that she's retired. So I can tell you that I would have LOVED if my Mom had a beautiful blog like yours filled with adorable pictures chronicling our lives as my brother and I grew up.
Cheers to you for being fabulous! And hoping that you continue to blog for YOU!
I feel that way sometimes, to post just because I feel like I should post. those days, I post the ones that I have written already in advance, and just click publish. Those posts I write when I feel like blogging. π Thank you for your comment!
Thank you Ronda, I'm so happy to hear you've enjoyed reading my blog. π
Your comment makes me want to cry! Thank you so much for taking your time to write me such a wonderful, thoughtful insight! And yay for commenting for the first time, I feel so honored! π And you are so right, the kids will enjoy reading this blog when they're older right? As long as I don't write about embarrassing stories of them. π thanks once again, it means a lot to me. I hope you come say hello more often! π
hey sarah! i've been reading your blog for a while now, but this is the first time i comment π
i used to have a fotolog, and kinda went throught the same love-hate relationship you did. now i don't fotolog anymore, but every now and then i go back to it, and remember some crazy stuff going on during that time, or inner jokes we have with my friends, or family meetings i posted, and it gives me a smile everytime π
plus, fotolog gave me the chance to actually know some great people, some of them became bff, so i think it wasn't that bad.
i think you're right about the narcissistic side of the whole blogging/fb/tw/instagram thing. this internet life made us be more apart from one another in the real world, but brought us together on the virtual world. postmodernism mode: on.
i guess you're just a mom. i'm not a mom yet, so i can only talk from the daughter side, and every mom snaps every now and then. i used to make mine one snap a lot, actually. i'm sorry, mom. i love you.
anyway, i read a lot of diy blogs (you're diy's are awesome, btw), and yours is one of the few i know that actually ask opinions to the readers. i always read stuff like "tell me if you like it!" or "come back soon!", but they don't sound real. they sound more like cold netiquette. you're a different deal. you ask proper questions. and that lowers the narcissistic thing A LOT.
keep it this way, as long as you feel comfy with the blogging deal. then drop it. we'll remember the blogger with the beautiful girls, the cool akita and the sweet husband, that had some major skills on sewing, amongst some other stuff.
tini.-
hey sarah! i just wrote a comment and blogging deleted it all
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thanks, blogging. you rock.
it said that i've been reading your blog for quite sometime now, but never posted anything. this is the first time π
i used to have a fotolog, and went throught the same love-hate feeling you go throught with your blog. now i don't fotolog anymore, but every now and then i go back to it and remember some wild nights out, or inner jokes with my friends, or family meetings i posted, and gives me a smile everytime. plus i met some wonderful people on it, some of them became bff, so that's a good ending for my fotolog experience.
the whole fb/blog/tw/instagram thing is narcissistic. this internet life made us be more apart from one another in the real life, but brought us together virtually. postmodernism mode: on.
i think you're just a mom. every mom snaps every now and then. i used to make mine one snap a lot, actually. i'm sorry mom. i love you.
i read a lot of diy blogs (yours is awesome, btw) and you're one of the few bloggers i read that actually want to hear feedback from readers. i read a lot of things like "come back soon!" or "tell me if you like it!" and stuff like that, and they don't sound real to me. they sound more like cold netiquette. but you're a different deal. you actually ask questions, and have interest on feedbacks, so that lowers the narcissistic thing A LOT.
keep it this way, while you enjoy blogging. then drop it. we'll remember you as the nice blogger with beautiful girls, a cool akita, a supporting husband and some major sewing skills, amongst some other things.
tini.-
perfect one