#TyauSunday It looks like we just rolled out of bed(because that’s precisely what we did), but our girls had a Primary program at church today(once a year kids ages 4-11 give a program of songs, talks & scriptures) and they did so well! Our 8 yr. old gave a talk that she wrote completely on her own and with her permission I share it with you.

“When The prophets write down the thoughts and messages Heavenly Father or Jesus tells them, their words become our scriptures.

First we have these wonderful books of scripture, it’s almost like Heavenly Father has written us a letter! Next, the most important thing is to read them. If I had a brand-new bicycle but never rode it that would be pretty dumb, and my parents would be disappointed I didn’t enjoy their gift to me. It’s even worse when we don’t read these words of God. A bicycle would give me fun and speed but I’d still be the same ME, I wouldn’t be any kinder or or any wiser or any more righteous.

Since what Heavenly Father really wants for us is to live with him again; in is mansion, we should read his scriptures and ponder and pray about them. This is a goal I am making for my life. I am ever so grateful to have Scriptures of my very own.”

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This post is a paid post in partnership with Sophos, a company I love and use in my own home.

Jay has miraculously agreed to getting family photos done every year, so a family photoshoot every year it is! I plan on framing each year of the family photos and hanging it up in the hallway of our home. My MIL does that and I think it’s such a cute idea.

The other day my kid followed me to the bathroom. This is after all day of listening, doing & listening some more of their endless requests & stories. Do your kids always ask you instead of their dad or is it just me? And have you ever listened so much that your ears are literally tired of listening? I was at that point. So when my kid came chattering to me as soon as I sat on the toilet, tears streamed down my face. With an exhausted voice I begged, “Can you please go tell daddy instead? Please? I just want to pee alone. I just want to not listen and have a few minutes to my own thoughts, that’s all I want. Please. Please go ask dad right now.”

In moments like this my first thought is, ‘I can’t wait until they’re not so needy anymore.” I’ve realized this is how I cope with many unwanted situations in life. I dream and wish for a day that’s different. “I can’t wait until they’re older and I have more time.”, “I can’t wait until this happens, life will be so much better.” I was thinking this as the kids were saying, “Mommy, guess what? Mommy, look, mommy, mommy, mommy!” in the car today.

Then as we were listening to the audio book of Harry Potter, Albus Dumbledore said to Harry sitting in front of the Mirror of the Erised(yes, I’m quoting HP, I’m officially a HP nerd now), “It does not do to dwell on dreams and forget to live.” I always thought he meant to not dwell on our goals and future plans so much that we forget to live in the present. Today, I gained another perspective to the quote. It doesn’t just mean wishing for your future to be a certain way, it also means to not wish and daydream for the present to be a certain way. To not wish it was any different. To face it full on instead and realize we are not above our current situation. To admit that life is what it is, and let life pain you, humble you, to feel the full extent of it’s heartache, frustration, & sorrow, even at times break you. Because it’s in these moments we find our true weaknesses. Then we have a chance to make that weakness a strength, but only by facing it full on. So soak in the present, don’t wish for it to be different. Own your life & your emotions, then rock it.

And even though we need to let things be and not try to change circumstances that we have no control over, one thing that I am very adamant and vigilant about is pornography. Because that is something I do have control over on what I can teach my children and providing them a safe environment at home. This is seriously my nightmare guys, I worry about it a lot. I feel there are many types of pornography, from hardcore porn to sexualized, immodest ads and the culture that we live in that emphasize women’s looks more than her brain or heart. I have read many articles and books about how to teach your kids and keep them strong-minded and safe, and one thing I keep hearing is that it’s not IF the kids have seen pornography but WHEN they see it. Every child will come across pornography in their life, and the average age a kid first sees porn is 8. 8! That is my daughter’s age! I read that many times it happens at a friend’s house who has an older sibling that shows it to them. Which is the reason why I always prefer that my kids’ friends come and play at our house and I only let them have playdates at their friend’s house if I know the mom and trust her and her family. I know I won’t be able to control who and where they hang out at forever but while they are little, I am going to do my best in keeping them safe.

WHAT I TEACH MY KIDS ABOUT PORNOGRAPHY

1. Our bodies are beautiful and so, so sacred, every one of ours. Our spirit dwells in our bodies, therefore it should be kept clean and pure, like a temple. Our body affects our spirit and our spirit affects our body. You can’t have one not affect the other, whether it be for good or bad. And since our bodies are so sacred, we do not show our private parts to others(unless mom or dad are right there and we tell you that it’s okay such as at a doctor’s appointment), nor do we look at other people’s body parts. Same goes with touching. You should not touch other people’s private parts nor should anyone touch yours. It is not because our private parts are bad or dirty, it’s because it’s just the opposite, because it’s so good and so sacred.

2. Pornography is anything that shows or describes people in little or no clothing(when they are older I plan on also adding that it’s purpose is to arouse sexual feelings). It can be through texting, phone calls, magazines, television, movies, books, and photographs.

3. When you come across pornography, immediately look away and say out loud, “That’s pornography!”

4. Replace the image you just saw from your mind by visualizing our family photo hanging on the wall. Try to recall and visualize the details of the image such as what each of us are wearing, the colors of our clothes, who is standing next to who, our smiles, etc.

5. Recite a scripture or sing a favorite hymn. Say or sing it out loud or in your head.

6. Tell mom or dad or an adult. Repeat steps 3 to 5 every time you come across pornography. You will never be in trouble. We will not get mad or disappointed in you. It is natural to be curious and we all get tempted, even mom or dad! We will always love you no matter what. Satan is really good at attacking what is so holy and sacred such as our bodies and turning it into something so casual and nonchalant. Because he doesn’t have a body of his own nor he ever will! He wants us to think that our bodies control our mind and our spirit and we should do whatever our body pleases. This is not true. We need to control our body with our mind and spirit in order to truly be happy.

If you have any additional tips or advice you have told your kids about pornography that I have missed, please share in the comments below! I love hearing about what other parents are teaching their kids because I don’t know everything and it helps to share the knowledge!

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I did a podcast for my dear friend Briana’s podcast channel, here is an excerpt from her blog post:

Podcast: Play in new window | Download

Subscribe: iTunes | Android | RSS

Today Sarah Tyau, blogger and YouTuber at Life is Beautiful, openly shares her battle with an eating disorder and self-loathing that originated with her lack of self-confidence and her desire for a perfectionism that is impossible to attain.  She begins by sharing her experience of growing up as a minority and the positive and negative effects that had on her confidence.  She shares a series of circumstances and events that contributed to her struggling unhealthy mindset about the way she looked, including the misinterpreted words from friends, the lack of knowledge on the development of a young girls’ body, and the comments of a college boyfriend that led her to become obsessed with losing 7 pounds.  Sarah shares the night her eating disorder began as she sat in a Wendy’s parking lot and force fed herself as a punishment for ‘being so fat’.  She shares her darkest moments and how through coming to know her worth through God she was able to finally experience hope and change through forgetting herself and serving others.   She passionately shares the message that you are of worth not because of what you look like or what race you are, but simply because ‘you are’, ‘you exist’, ‘you have infinite value’.  She openly shares her continued struggle with a pattern of perfectionism and an ‘all or nothing’ mindset.   I love how honest she is to quickly tell us that she doesn’t have it all figured out, that this is an ongoing struggle.  She explains her reasoning for being so open on her blog and social media is so that no one will ever feel alone and know that their feelings of overwhelm and struggle are normal.  Listen and be ready to take a hard look at the patterns in your life and the way you view yourself, and see if they are leading to a healthy or unhealthy self-image.  Be inspired to serve others as a means to see your own value.

Want to know if this episode it for you?  This episode is perfect for someone who struggles with the pursuit of perfectionism and an “all or nothing” mindset.  It is also perfect for someone who may suffer from an eating disorder or looking to understand the pattern of thinking from someone suffering from one.  It will also a great episode for a mother who struggles with getting burnt out.

What is this episode about?   In this episode you will learn about:

• how growing up as a minority was positive and negative for her self-esteem
• how the question “where are you from?” can make someone feel like they don’t belong
• why she cried every time she went clothes shopping as a young girl
• how some Koreans greet one another and how Sarah misinterpreted their words
• why she went on her first diet to lose 2-3 pounds in high school
• what a college boyfriend said to make her obsessed with losing 7 pounds
• her first time binge eating in a Wendy’s parking lot as she force fed herself as a punishment for ‘being so fat’
• what she would say to herself if she could go back to talk to herself that night
• how your ego is not really who you are, but who you are at the core
• why she is grateful for going through this experience
• her cycle of dieting and gaining weight
• how this affected the way she viewed others
• what she did on her darkest night in her desperation to starve herself
• how the light returned
• her belief in God and the way he thinks of her
• how serving others helped her to forget about herself
• the guilt she felt when she had moments when she regretted being on a mission or being a mother
• how she battles with an ‘all or nothing’ mindset and a pursuit of perfection
• she honest answer that she is struggles with this but how she is learning that a true failure is not trying
• when she feels the most confident in herself when she’s closest to God and can look through his eyes at how He sees her
• she talks about bodies to her own children
• how serving others helps her to be happy
• the people in your life that really matter don’t care about what you look like

Show Notes:

Sarah’s blog Life is Beautiful

Sarah’s Instagram feed

Sarahs’ YouTube Channel

Email Sarah at [email protected]

And then here’s a FB live we did last night talking more about the things I did that helped me overcome my eating disorder, in 8 steps. Isn’t this freeze shot such a flattering picture of me?

I’d love to hear about what you thought about my podcast and FB live! I feel vulnerable sharing such a big part of me, me having had an eating disorder wasn’t a secret but it’s not like I screamed it to the roof tops, and only people that are my friends and family have known this until now. But I think having a low self-esteem and struggling with perfectionism is something a lot of us struggle with so I hope it helps at least one person. I love you guys and for your continued support and encouragement, this is for you!

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This post is part of the monthly series for #JOHNSONS® for Socialstars™.

We went raspberry picking today! Well, it was raspberry picking for me, and raspberry eating for my son.

My son is my biggest cheerleader. “Mommy! You’re really good at this!” he tells me when I’m setting up his train set. “I see your pretty hair, pretty arms, pretty fingers!” he told me while looking through his clear toy when driving to the berry farm today. “I don’t want another mommy ever, because you’re the best mommy ever!” He told me with a mouthful of raspberries.

He listened silently & didn’t say a word so I thought that was that. Then a few minutes later, I heard him excitedly tell his sisters in the other room. “Did you know that when mom’s mad at me, she still loves me?” Then he came running down to me and said, “Mommy, I really liked when you said that. When you said you love me even when you’re mad at me.”

Then it hit me that my 3 yr. old son might have thought my love was conditional. That I loved him only when he was a good boy or when I was happy. Oh, how heartbreaking!

So today for our Monday family night, I told my kids how no matter what they do, what mistakes or bad things they’ll choose to do, no matter what they say, my love for them will never dim. No matter how disapproving I may be of their choices, that they can tell me or dad because we wouldn’t judge them or force them to change. That we would love them that much more. We’d be there for them that much more. How our love is not conditional, it’s unconditional, that they are worthy of our love for simply being. That we hope they don’t live their life for our validation or approval, but live whichever direction their true self longs for. I hope my kids always remember this, but I hope I’ll remember that my actions don’t convey otherwise when they grow up and make wrong choices.

Since my son was covered in dirt and raspberry juice all over, for bath time we used JOHNSON’S® Head to toe extra moisturizing baby wash. It is an ultra-mild cleanser that’s clinically proven safe and gentle enough for a baby’s delicate skin and sensitive eyes, even when they are just a few days old. We just got back from a baby blessing of a dear friends and the baby girl was just so tiny and I was so baby hungry! My go-to baby gifts for my friends have been these adorable rompers for a girl baby and overalls for a boy baby, or moccasins, amber necklace(great for drooling & teething) and Head to toe extra moisturizing cream because I use it on my children and we are constantly going through baby wash, you could never have enough. These products are perfectly pH-balanced and infused with vitamin E and baby oil and let’s be honest here, I’ve been using the lotion on myself and love it, because the scent is very mild(I think it’s no scented?) and it keeps my skin smooth.

For more information, check out Bath time for sensitive skin

Easy and Delicious Raspberry Jam Recipe

Ingredients:

• 2 c. fresh raspberries
• 1/3 cup granulated sugar(I like mine not-so-sweet. You can add more according to preference)
• 2 tablespoons Instant Pectin
• 2 Half-pint (8 oz) Jars 

Instructions:

1. Crush the raspberries.
2. Add sugar and pectin. Stir for 3 minutes.
3. Ladle the jam into clean jars and let it sit for 30 mins. Refrigerate up to 3 weeks, or freeze for up to 1 year.

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