“You’re the most kind & pure-hearted person I know.” My husband said to me a couple weeks ago. I looked at him expecting him to burst out laughing at his own sarcasm but as I looked into his eyes, I knew he meant every word. And since, the world I lived in has been shattered and forever changed.
After all the mean things I’ve said to him when we’d get in fights and my sassy attitude that time of the month, I’ve never even been remotely close to this mean to anyone else except for my poor husband. Isn’t it so sad how we treat the people we love the most more poorly? And here he was saying I was the most kind & pure-hearted. I don’t deserve that compliment. There are so many faults I find in myself that I’m constantly trying to overcome. But he believes it, and since then, when I’m about to say something to him with attitude, I catch myself saying, “No, he thinks I’m the most kind person, the most kind person will never say that!” And I stop myself. And instead of attitude, I say something sweet to him instead. I have become a more kind wife and a more kind person since.
I’ve also learned one lesson in life. People will act the way you expect them to. People will be the person you label them as. In a book “The Hidden Messages in Water”, a Japanese scientist labels water such as love, hatred, war, peace, friendship and then freezes a droplet of water from each label and takes pictures. The positive words formed beautiful, symmetrical, clear snow flakes, like the ones you see in illustrations. On the other hand, the negative words formed asymmetrical, deformed, incomplete snowflakes. It is the coolest thing, here are some pictures from the book:
So like those droplets of water, we too become what people(including ourselves) label ourselves as. If a simple act of labeling had that much effect on water, think of how much more power it has on a human being! How important it is to use words to build people up instead of building them down! I have made it a goal to label people higher than they are, to see not what they are at this present moment, but to see their potential & what they could be. If I don’t think highly of another person because I think they’re selfish, I’m going to treat them as if they’re considerate & selfless. I believe that person in return will act considerate & selfless towards me because he/she knows that’s what I think of them as. If I ever have to deal with kids that are going astray and keep making poor choices, I’ll treat them like they’re responsible, smart, respectable adults. And they’ll in return act that way. There is so much I don’t know about how life works but I love learning bits of pieces as I go.
Наталия Годунова says
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Kathy McCarthy says
Lovely post. I love the positive message. I agree we can be hardest on the people we are closet to. I will have to try this method with my own family, especially with my kids. Thanks for sharing this with us.
Kathy
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Valerie Price says
This is such a wonderful post! I definitely want to check out this book…thank you for sharing!
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Kayela says
This is lovely! Thanks for sharing;)