Do you have a hard time finding friends who you truly connect with? I do. I mean, I like everyone and I can get along with everyone, but I feel like it’s hard to find a friend who I truly connect with, like my soulmate that’s a girl. Now that I am typing this, I guess it makes sense that it’s hard to find one since soulmates are hard to find and you’re lucky if you find one in your lifetime! Haha. There’s a new show I came across last week when I ran out of all my tivo’ed shows(especially since it’s Summer and most shows won’t start until this coming Fall, cry me a river!), and it was just a preview and I thought it was pretty funny so I watched one episode and it passed. So I’ve been watching it every week, it’s called Odd Mom Out. I mean, it’s not like the best show ever in the history of television but it’s pretty funny and I can relate so much as a mother.
Anyway, it’s a show about a mom with 2 kids living in NY who deals with a snobby MIL and SIL and not feeling like she fits in. There’s one episode where she meets another mom and they instantly bond and they decide to go out to dinner together and it ends up being a disaster. It supports what I always say to people that making new friends is just like dating! You come home after hanging out with someone for the first time and you think to yourself, “Did I talk too much? Did I not talk enough? Was I funny enough? Does she like me? Will she want to hang out with me again?” It’s when you’ve hung out 4-5 times when you can now relax and be like, “Okay, she likes me. I think it’s safe to say we are official now. Officially friends.” And it’s a lot of work to make friends and keep friends! You need to make sure to let them know that you care about them, that you are thinking of them, initiate hang outs, you need to cultivate the relationship or it kind of fizzles out. I mean, unless you’ve been friends for forever, then you can relax more and know that they’ll always be your friend no matter what.
And I am not sure if I am just being a spoiled brat or feeling entitled, but if I consider you one of my best friends, you also have to feel the same way about me. If I consider you my best friend, you better consider me your best friend too! Is that bratty? No, right? Because making new friends is just like dating, so heck yes, it has to be reciprocated!
Lately, I feel like I don’t have that many friends. Most of my best friends have moved away from me and no longer live in UT. One of them live in Salt Lake and we hardly get together because of the 40 miles distance and each of us having 3 little kids who we chauffeur and can’t find the time to meet up in between all our kids’ activities. Then the weekends come and we are busy doing our own things and spending time with our husbands and the kids. I play phone tag constantly with my girlfriends because when I call them, it’s a bad time for them and vice versa. It’s not like motherhood is a scheduled job, it’s constant and there are always surprise accidents, cries, fights, or messes to clean up. I feel like everyone else has best friends already and are not looking for new best friends. Like everyone is already comfortable where they’re at in the friendship department and not out and looking for a relationship. And I am not the person to just be friends with 100 people on a semi-surface level, I’d rather have 1 true friend who I can count on and rely on, just as much as they do with me.
So I’ve been trying to get out of my comfort zone and making an effort to make new friends. Or be closer friends with some of the girls I already know. So does this mean I gotta play the game and make myself not too easy? Play hard to get? Haha, no, I am actually pretty forward(which is the opposite of how I was with boys, I had no game & never even talked to them first) with girls I want to get to know and become good friends with, I just straight up say to them, “I think you are so cool and I really like you. Can we hang out more?” It’s worked great so far, you should try it! But just don’t be creepy about it of course, use a little humor and sarcasm so you don’t come off creepy. No one likes creepy stalkers! Well, unless you’re a hot guy, I’ve always said if a guy likes you and is ugly, then he’s labeled a stalker. If he’s good looking, then he’s not a stalker, you are flattered! Am I right or am I right?
So do you feel like you have enough friends? Or do you sometimes feel a like a loner like me? Or in the words of Mindy Kaling, is everyone hanging out without me?
*I was to write about any entertainment topics & tie it into my story and was not asked to mention Odd Mom Out. It’s just a new show I came across on my Tivo and thought you might find the show funny too!
Jay says
So would you rather hang out with 24 OK friends for 1 hour each or 1 BFF for 24 hours? hmmmmmmmmmm …I know what I'd choose!
racingcourne says
I notice after being done school and starting work that it is hard to make close friends. For me, I have to wonder how much work related rants I can tell them and if we are only friends because we work together. But I think after a few "dates" I can get more of a feel who are more than just coworkers.
I also want to make blogging friends. I would love to make blog friends I could travel with! Haha a little off topic.
Katie says
Sarah! I was just telling this to TJ tonight because it's so hard to find friends especially as families grow but I'm someone who needs a couple good girlfriends around! So, that being said⦠Let's hang out! Want to come swimming at our pool Wednesday or Thursday with all the kiddos? I live right by Thanksgiving Point. I'd love to see you, it's been too long⦠so let me know!
Sandy a la Mode says
aren't i one of your best girl friends??????????? π π
xo,
Sandy
Sandy a la Mode
Pearls of Style says
Totally agree with this post! So lovely to read π
Krissie x – http://pearlsofstyle.blogspot.com
Jenni Taysom says
Hi, I'm a new reader, found you from your post on Jordan's blog. I really appreciate this post because it put into words what I feel, but didn't know how to put into words for myself. I definitely prefer a few deep relationship/friendship verses lots of mediocre ones. Yes it's nice to know lots of people to say hi to around town and "like" their posts on Facebook, but my heart craves some close relationships that are more meaningful, a kindred spirit type of friendship.
Rachel // Maybe Matilda says
I totally get this! I feel like it's so much harder to make friends as an adult than it was as a kid, and even more so as a mom! Because even if you and the other mom get along great, it can still be hard to make a friendship work if your kids fight with each other, or if their ages are just far enough apart that they can't play together, or if everyone likes each other except your husbands don't . . . etc. We just moved to a new ward where almost everyone is also new within the last few months (new townhouses–people constantly moving in!). I was nervous about it because I am not very outgoing and I'd much rather sit by myself than go sit by someone I've never met and strike up a conversation. But I've been trying to get out of my comfort zone and sit by someone new every Sunday. It's actually gone pretty well so far–I'm 'relearning' how to small talk (which is never my favorite and I always feel uncomfortable), and making some great new friends. But it's still hard! I like you, can we please hang out more? π
kileen valenzuela says
i agree it's so hard to make new friends now that I'm not in college anymore! definitely takes a lot more work and is like dating!
cute & little
Amber Shannon says
I know what you mean!! π
My life was somewhat opposite… I had strict/judgmental parents who made it difficult to maintain friendships. I didn't feel like I grew up "normal" having the same fun and experiences as my peers.
As I've grown into a woman, having girl friends has become something very important…and it is an investment… between working full time, being a single mom, dating/being in a relationship, blogging, and just living…it can be hard to make time for others…but I DO and I strive to keep up with my friends via coffee dates, martinis, dinner, lunch, text, or call… just gotta do it sometimes! I hope your new friendships grow strength and momentum!
β₯
Amber
All the Cute
Recent Post: Floral Cropped Top & Draped Maxi Skirt
Vanessa D'Orazio says
I don't have many friends but I know that the ones I have are eally special, and that they really care about me. Sometimes I feel like I'm a loner but I actually like spending time by myself!
http://www.notesofglam95.blogspot.it/
Dressed2dNines Blog says
I have a small circle of tight knit friends but I also love to be alone …best of both worlds!
http://www.dressed2dnines.com
Alycia Grayce (Crowley Party) says
Hit the nail on the head girl, I have found as I get older this gets harder and harder and I too don't live near all the girlfriends I made growing up. It is hard to hang out with the ones I do have here in Utah. It is nice to know that I am not the only one who has these feelings though! We should be friends π
Andrea Ogunbadejo says
Lovely post!
Drea xo
Drea's Junkyard
Twelve Stitches says
I totally agree! I'm really loyal so I have 2 best friends but they both live out of the country and they both just had kids so now I really don't have any friends. I'm Asian and I sew too so maybe we should be new BFFs! π I live in California tho but we should hang out the next time you come!
Kayela says
Hey! We never had our playdate! Maybe we should give that another shot;)
Sarah says
Kayela!
I texted you a couple days ago and you never texted me back!!! Text me so we can set a date, it really needs to happen.
Sarah
Sarah says
Um. yeah both Asians and we both sew, we have so much in common already! I am coming in the end of September to LA! π
Aimee Bustillo says
Sounds like a great series, By the way I nominated you for the Versatile Blogger Award, hope you drop by my blog π
Capturing Life Memoirs | http://aimeebustillo.blogspot.com