I believe the best, most effective way to change our children is by changing ourselves first, so that it changes the relationship we have with our child, thus causing the change in our child. Same goes with marriage. If I want my husband to change, I should change my behavior towards him and in return he’ll change on his own.
I’m reading The 5 Love Languages of Children and it’s been helping how I see our marriage! At first I thought, “Psh, he never gives me this love language, which is the love language I need!”😤 But I had an immediate thought that humbled me, “Do I give him his love language? No, I can do much better. Instead of focusing on what he doesn’t do, I need to focus on what I don’t do for him and do better in expressing his love language. Then in return, he’ll give me the love language that I need.”
Jay’s love language is service. He LOVES it when I clean. In fact he always tells me if I cleaned more and was super tidy(which I’m not), then I’d be perfect.😅 But I tell him, if I was perfect, he wouldn’t have a chance to grow! I’d never test his patience!😉 My love language is words of affirmation. I always tell Jay at every Holiday, birthday or Anniversaries that all I want is a hand written card. A poem would be 🙌🏼.
The 5 love languages are:
2. Words of affirmation
4. Quality time
Your love language is usually the way you express your love to others. You give the way you’d like to receive. So what is your love language? Or your significant other’s?