We’ve been posting #tyausunday on my Instagram every Sunday, you should check it out!
This excerpt is from my most recent post:
#TyauSunday
We answered questions the Young Women’s had in class today(I teach these amazing 16-17 yr. old girls). One of the questions was, “How do I deal with jealousy and pride?” We talked about how jealousy is a form of pride, us thinking we are better than that person, therefore, we deserve whatever he/she has too.
I had a thought come to my mind that just like how we have different talents, and when I envy someone’s talent, I should be quick to remember that I should never compare my weakness with someone’s strength, and surely one of their weaknesses are my strengths, so it evens out, so it is with their lives.
If I envy someone for their nice house, I need to be quick to remember that their house might be perfect, but there’s another part in their life that they’re struggling with. If I envy someone for their travels, what I don’t know is they might travel to the most stunning places, but there’s an area in their life that they’re struggling with. It’s the rule of compensation, none of our lives are perfect in every area. We might have one or two areas that are perfect, but it compensates in other areas.
The rule of compensation also applies to our talents, none of us are talented in every area of life, we all have weaknesses. It also applies to how we can’t do it all or have it all, if we focus on one area, another area must suffer.
What are some things you feel jealous of? I’ve told you mine, a nice new house(w/ lots of natural light) & couples traveling sans kids, those are two of mine! Now, your turn.😉
sonia says
Hi Sarah, I’ve been reading your blog for years (since you had as a header a picture of your family wearing trendy blue/brown outfits, your girls were so little!!!). I love your tutorials, your Halloween posts (Maleficent was my favourite!), and I really enjoyed reading about your Disney Cruise.
This time, I felt that I should share with you (and all your followers) what I’ve learned about this topic.
Let’s start by naming correctly this feeling, it is not jealousy, it’s envy (You can feel envy about something you don’t have but want, but you feel jealousy over something you already have but are afraid of losing https://www.vocabulary.com/articles/chooseyourwords/envy-jealousy/ ) Anyways, I totally agree that envy and pride always go together.
I’ve been reading about that topic for the past weeks because I feel I have to teach my 5 year old how to deal with envy (it’s such a common feeling!). So I researched what the LDS leaders have instructed (feel free to read the talks I quote here, they are amazing).
First of all, I really want to learn the correct way to deal with this feelings because I believe pride is the easiest sin, and if we don’t learn to avoid it, it could turn in several other sins (think about all that happened because of the envy of Cain, Laman and Lemuel, Amalickiah, Saul…)
So, the reason I’m commenting on this entry is because I believe that the ideas you are sharing here, may promote more pride.
It’s true that everyone has talents and weaknesses, but Our Heavenly Father may choose to bless someone more than me. He is the owner of everything, he may distribute it the way he wants, and he is fair and perfect! Think about someone in a third world country, were the gospel hasn’t come, living with crime and poverty, compare that with what an average American has, it evens out? “We are not diminished when someone else is added upon. We are not in a race against each other” (Elder Holland, “The Laborers in the Vineyard”).
You said than when you envy someone you remember that there’s another part in their life that they’re struggling with, and one of their weaknesses are your strengths. In my opinion that will only feed the pride. You are still comparing, and measuring against someone, “nor does demeaning someone else improve your self-image.” (Elder Holland, “The Laborers in the Vineyard”).
The best (and only) way to deal with envy is what Elder Uchtdorf named the two-word sermon: stop it! (Talk “The Merciful Obtain Mercy”)
“How is it done? Through the love of God. When our hearts are filled with the love of God, something good and pure happens to us. The more we allow the love of God to govern our minds and emotions—the more we allow our love for our Heavenly Father to swell within our hearts—the easier it is to love others with the pure love of Christ. As we open our hearts to the glowing dawn of the love of God, the darkness and cold of animosity and envy will eventually fade.”
Stop measuring others, “For with the same measure that you use it shall be measured to you again.
Shouldn’t this promise be enough to always focus our efforts on acts of kindness, forgiveness, and charity instead of on any negative behavior?” (Elder Uchtdorf, same talk) So we should focus in our own progress, measuring only myself against my previous me: I have talents so I should share them and increase them, and become even better. What about my weaknesses? Seek for the Lord’s advise and work hard to overcome them. So that I’m a better now than I was the last month and the next month I’ll be even better at the Lord’s eyes.
So, as a conclusion the only way to stop jealousy/envy is by stop measuring others and focusing on acquiring and exercising the pure love of Chist / charity.
Sorry for the long comment. I hope this makes sense, and sorry for the spelling and grammar mistakes, English is not my first language.
Ok, this is already a huge comment so I want to add one last thought: Thanks for sharing your sewing gift with us!!!!!! I loooove your tutorials and I’ve done several, they are so easy, creative and I love the way you explain.