My husband’s daily ritual when he comes home from work is to take the kids on a ride or a walk around the neighborhood. The kids look forward to this time when daddy comes home and they get to tell dad all about their days and have his full attention.
My girlfriend once told me that she was gone for a weekend and left her kids with her husband to take care of the kids by himself. When she came back he said to her, “I will never look at stay at home mothers the same again. Or ask you what you did all day, because this was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, you are a super woman.” My mouth dropped open and I said to her, “That is the best thing a husband could say to their stay at home wives!” And I told her my story.
Two years ago, several months before I had my 3rd child, Jay surprised me with a trip to New York by myself to go visit my brother and my best friend for a Valentine’s present. He arranged the dates and asked my brother and my best friend beforehand and planned it out! It was so thoughtful of him and I had an amazing 5 days. And Jay took work off to stay at home with our kids for the 5 days. I remember on the airplane home, I thought of my friend who went away for the weekend and came back to an appreciative husband. I thought to myself, “Hmm, maybe Jay will say something similar when I get back! Maybe he’ll appreciate all that I do more than before.”
Well, how wrong I was. I walked in the door and first of all, the house was spotless. It was glowing even! The back of the oven was wiped clean, the stainless refrigerator was shiny, every toy was put away, all the laundry washed and folded away, all the beds made, no dirty dishes in the sink. I came back to two happy kids who came running to me to shower me with love. Then they proceeded to tell me all the fun things they did while I was gone like swimming, arcade games, riding around the neighborhood, going to the park, eating sack lunches made by daddy, having play dates and so forth., while Jay and I looked at each other and smiled. Then my oldest said to me, “I missed you mama, but dad is way more fun. He takes us to more fun places than you.” Ouch. “Well honey, you have to remember that dad isn’t with you in the day much and it was only 5 days out of this year. If he stayed home for 365 days a year, he wouldn’t take you to this many fun stuff!” I said as Jay was laughing in the background and I gave him the stink eye. Then throughout the day I noticed that my kids were listening the first time I asked them to do something! And they did their chores happily and without any complaints! Then Jay shows me the chore chart that he made. The chore chart that was colored by the kids and laminated and on the white board. Each chore on a 1.5″ square magnet was colored and laminated too. He told me this was why the kids were listening so good, it was so they could get to the top of the destination which would win them a fun outing with the family. I asked him, “So was it hard staying with the kids all day?” He said to me, “Nah, it was fine.” like it was no biggie at all.
So there’s that. All stay at home moms want to hear from their husbands is, “I will never look at stay at home mothers the same again. Or ask you what you did all day, because this was the hardest thing I’ve ever had to do, you are a super woman.” But not me. Not my husband. Instead, he make me feel like I don’t do enough when I am at home with the kids and I should do more! What the heck!
But in the end, I am so grateful for having a husband who is just so great at being a stay at home parent. His wish is to be a stay at home dad which I find absolutely adorable. Everyday when he comes home from work he takes the kids on a little walk or a scooter ride around the neighborhood. He likes to wear the Converse sneakers from Famous Footwear that I got him and he said to me, “Oh, finally I get something for myself from you being a blogger! It’s about time!” Haha. He is such an involved, fun dad and I really feel we parent 50/50. I am so grateful for a husband who is so good with the kids.
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I was selected for this opportunity as a member of Clever Girls and the content and opinions expressed here are all my own.
Katie Foster says
That story is hysterical!
Ecochic says
I understand where you are coming from! I'm on maternity until our daughter is ten months (she is seven now), then my husband is taking the last two months of our one year joint leave. It's all I can do some days to keep up with the dishes, meals and laundry that I still take a quick nap during her afternoon nap if I feel I need it. My hobbies are left by the wayside out of exhaustion and just wanting to sit with the hubs when he gets home from work and she is in bed.
I know when he is on leave the house will be immaculate and well organised, and he will have tried to make supper and wrote a few songs and did some minor house projects.
But I have to keep reminding myself we have always said if we could afford it and I get to a good place in my career he would be a stay at home dad. He is better at some things than me, and I than him, that is why we make a good partnership.
ellie says
Don't fall for it, my husband did the same but when I was sick in hospital with baby number three and he had to cope without me for a while month he hated it and the house was a state! One week of being mum is a novelty but most men can't do it for as long as us!!!!