6.09.2014

My milk supply is gone and it breaks my heart, surprisingly.


I came home from running errands to find my boys mowing the lawn together with their shirts off. 

On another note, ever since Whole30, my milk supply has been dropping and today my son refused to nurse completely. I kept trying but he would refuse and cry and turn his head away.  I always said I dislike nursing and can't wait to wean him but I planned on nursing him for over a year, and at 10 months I'm not ready to and I'm heart broken about it, which comes as a total surprise.  I think I would've been happy if it was the over one year mark and I was ready to wean him, but I am not ready yet!  I've been taking fenugreek but without him sucking long enough, how am I suppose to produce milk? I'm completely dry now and I feel guilty and feel like I've failed in a way as a mother. My body should be able to provide my child breast milk, but I am not able to and it makes me feel so helpless.  I want to feed my son breast milk so that he will be at his optimal health but I'm failing as a mother to provide that for him.  Was I selfish in trying out the Whole30?  I didn't know it was going to make my milk supply go low!  I am a little bitter and resentful I did Whole30.  Anyway, I am taking fenugreek and the mother's milk herbal tea so I am crossing my fingers I'll at least be able to nurse him once a day.  Cross your fingers for me!  

7 comments:

  1. I know it's totally different when it's your own child and as a childless person I probably have no say in this but I hope you won't always think about it as failing as a mother--My mother didn't breastfeed me at all (no milk whatsoever from the get-go) and I turned out alright--LOTS of babies in that boat turn out totally normal and healthy (and thriving, like me!) :)

    Please cheer up, anyone with two eyes can see you're a wonderful mother.

    Demi
    http://carbonchic.com.au

    P.S. That baby vest looks totally gangster in that photo, haha!

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  2. So I've been reading your blog for years because you post awesome outfit photos and I wish I could sew the way you do! I've never commented because there's not really anything I could have added. I do, however, know about nursing. One thing that always helps me with supply is to pump. It's not as efficient as nursing, obviously, but if you pump while looking at pictures of your little one, it stimulates the same hormonal response. Oatmeal also helps! Even if your supply doesn't recover, nursing for any amount of time is amazing and has provided your kiddo a strong foundation! Good job, mama! :)

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  3. You did awesome girl! Don't feel guilty at all. I tried so hard to keep it going, but I dried up at 4 months and that was a hard pill to swallow...but Marli has been on formula ever since she was born (since I always had to supplement with my milk) and she's as happy and healthy as can be. Again, don't beat yourself up.
    Linh
    http://abeautifulrawr.com

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  4. Keep at it. My kids all had a little nursing strike at 10 months and we managed to pull through. I think you can totally make it work, but if you can't, don't beat yourself up about it. You are an awesome mama!

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  5. I am sorry to hear that. I worked in a maternity home and the mothers sometimes continue their milk supply by using a pump when they are put on antibiotics/drugs.
    Hope it helps.
    *hugs*
    You are not a bad mother. You did not fail your son.
    :)

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  6. You almost made it to a year so you should be proud of yourself! My son is almost 7 months and breastfeed and pump at work but now I am struggling to pump enough for him. I thought I would be so happy to be done but now I don't want to stop since he is doing so well. I understand what you are going through.

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  7. Awwww I always battled breastfeeding, my supply was never enough! Don't beat yourself up over it, just do what you can!!

    xo,
    Sandy
    Sandy a la Mode

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