“Sarah! Why are you walking around the house barefoot! You need to wear socks at all times because you have a uterus. You need to keep your feet warm at all times, it’s not good to walk around on the cold floor.”
This quote was repeated by my mom at least twice a day after I had the baby. My baby was born on July 30th, in the middle of the hot Summer. So why is she wanting me to wear socks you ask? Because I have a uterus! It makes perfect sense! Another reason is because she is Korean. Koreans have a very strict tradition on postpartum care, and my mother is no different. My mom came over every single day from Monday through Saturday, morning to evening for 30 days to take care of me while I was ordered to rest and take it easy, just like she did after I had my other two children. Isn’t she awesome? But she was very strict and I was to adhere to her guidelines.
With my other two kids, I didn’t take her advice too seriously and thought they were too much, but I paid the price for it. After I had my first child, my mom would give me room temperature water to drink and told me I should not eat or drink anything cold for at least 30 days. I think any water that is not cold is pretty gross so I drank ice water while my mom looked at me and shook her head, and I wanted to prove to her that it’s no big deal! Drinking ice cold water is just fine! But I was wrong. I felt cold sensitivity on my teeth every second of the day for two weeks straight. With my second child, I really wanted to go eat all you can eat crabs, but I knew that was against the rules, I was not go step outside the house for 30 days, except for doctor appointments. But I thought, I’ll be fine, I feel great, it’s not a big deal! So only a week after I had the baby, Jay and I went out to eat despite my mother’s warnings not to. That night, I got mastitis(see post here). So with this child being my third and me having learned a lesson or two, I took her advice more seriously and trusted her advice a lot more. My mom says we have to be more careful and strict postpartum because Asian women are more petite, therefore it takes more toll on our bodies to carry and push out the baby? It makes some sense, right?
Here are the list of her guidelines(which seems to be universal with the other Korean moms too. I swear Korean moms take a Korean mom 101 class while they’re pregnant with their 1st baby because THEY ALL SAY THE SAME EXACT THING.):
- Drink Korean seaweed soup with every meal, 3 times a day. The seaweed soup cleanses the body and clarifies the blood, and helps to produce milk.
- I was not allowed to open up a water bottle. It’s not good for you to twist your wrist.
- We have stainless steel utensils at our house and my mom would not allow me to use them, but instead gave me plastic utensils instead. She said the stain-less steel utensils were way too heavy for my poor, weakened wrist.
- I was suppose to wear many layers constantly despite the hot Summer weather. I was suppose to be sweating constantly and never let my body feel the cool air from the air conditioner or the fan.
- I couldn’t drink ice water or liquid, let alone cold liquid. My mom would pour me water or milk and let it sit in room temperature for at least an hour before letting me drink it.
- I was not to chew anything too hard or chewy such as beef jerky.
- I was to sleep when the baby slept(as much as I could with two toddlers which wasn’t much).
- I couldn’t pick up or carry anything heavier than the baby(7 lbs.).
- No cooking, or doing any chores. No cleaning, no laundry, no cutting with the knife, using scissors, anything that required strength. This one I loved! π
- I was not to go outside the house for 30 days. She let me go to the farmers market near our house before the 30 days which I jumped at the chance to go. But I was so surprised she suggested we go there!
- I was reprimanded for going through coupons and throwing the expired ones away. I shouldn’t pick up a paper or put any stress on my hands, fingers, and wrist.
- A couple days before the 30 day mark, I told my mom I wanted to go raspberry picking. She told me I could go but I wasn’t allowed to pick the raspberries, but I could just watch everyone else pick them.
Amanda says
Wow…that is so interesting!
My mom came for two weeks and did everything for me, too! It was amazing. This is my first week without her and I feel like we're making it, but it is a big adjustment. I hate cooking so having her here for two weeks to do that was amazing! Now it's back to the grind, lol.
Kirstie Semler says
That is pretty cool! I had no idea there were so many rules! Pretty cool to learn about it!
Kristin Jones says
I've actually been reading about different cultures and the "rules" for new moms. According to the article it mentioned that the US is one of the only countries without lots of rules, regulations, and mostly rest. Very interesting to get your culture's take on it! I hope when I have children I'll be lucky enough to have someone force me to rest. π
anna says
In Chinese culture, I love the no hair washing or bathing for a month. Tradition or not — I didn't do that. Bathing and hygiene is important.
Certain foods and soups/tonics are meant to help build milk supply, and strengthen the blood and body. Soup of ginger, eggs, pig knuckles in plenty of sweet black vinegar. Fish/carp soup drunk directly after childbirth, which is supposed to stimulate the milk supply to begin. White cut chicken with ginger and rice are basic meals.
But it's interesting to know why these traditions came about in the first place.
Jeehye Tomyn says
ahh! this brings back terrible memories. i was like you and NEVER listened to my mom. i seriously did not want to see my mom because i knew she was going to lecture me! she wouldn't even let me hold my baby since it will put stress on my wrist. ugh…it was a nightmare. but after reading this, maybe i should be more careful with my next baby! haha loved your post. i can total relate!
Cami says
I remember Rachel Choi talking to us about some of these π I think that's wonderful! Lucky you… And congratulations on your little boy π
Jessica says
Wow. All I can say is wow. That's amazing. My mom came to help me out when she could. I think for about two weeks people took turns bringing us dinner and that was the biggest help. My husband took a couple of days off work both times too. I'm kind of weird about people helping me, I get super uncomfortable if someone is cleaning or cooking and I'm not…so I don't know how I would do with this. Congrats on your baby, he's a cutie π
Trish says
I love this. When my first baby was born i had no clue what to do with her or how i was going to take care of my house or cook or anything else the rest of my life. When i had my twins,babies #2 & #3, my MIL came to stay with us for 2 weeks. I was so thankful for that. I didn't have to worry about anything. one funny tradition/cultural thing I learned from my neighbor who is puerto rican is that i should be wearing a hat for 100 days after my babies were born. That was so I didn't get sick. She told me several times when she saw me that i should be wearing a hat.
Holy Craft says
My sister in law is Korean and I'm interested to see if her mom did any of these things for her. My mom, well, my mom came to help but I clearly remember her sitting on the porch talking to my neighbor while I held my two day old son and whipped up dinner for the family. Not much help.
Cassandrew says
Wow, thanks for sharing! I learned something new.
Mel says
I wish we had this tradition in England! I had an emergency c-section on July 25th and other than a few days have been completely on my own with my husband and we have found it hard. I felt like I never got a chance for my body to recover from the trauma. With a c-section I couldn't drive or lift anything heavier than my baby. I am fine now though.
Pearl says
You know what they say in Korean culture, if you listen to your parents advice, you'll be able to eat rice cakes even when you're sleeping! Another way of mom showing her love…She's awesome.. annoying sometimes but mostly awesome and I'm so thankful we have her as our mom Sarah!
Wonjee Beh says
I'm Korean (married but no kids yet), and grandmother and mom have already been lecturing me about this! That list is pretty much the exact same things I hear almost every week…LOL
lizard says
Ummm….thinking about going to Korea to have my next baby so I can stay in one of those hotels!! I am all kinds of jealous about that! We should totally start one in America–I think the ladies would be all up ons. And I love that Korean moms help out so much after the birth of a child! I can see how it might be a bit stifling, but I feel like I would prefer it to feeling helpless and clueless on my own after childbirth. I relish the 2 or 3 days that I get to spend in the hospital after giving birth, having the hospital staff around to help out and bring me food and stuff!
lizard says
Also, the sock/uterus thing is especially interesting to me because if you go to Russia and any babushkas (old ladies) catch you sitting on the ground outside, they'll come yell at you that you're going to freeze your ovaries. I guess us Americans just don't know how to take proper care of our lady parts!
ekhandler says
In Hungary it's the same that cold feet or cold legs means damage to your womb. Same with sitting on cold things like benches or stone walls. Not only when you're pregnant or postpartum, but all the time. I've been yelled at for wearing flip-flops in October, or not wearing tights in the fall!
Amy says
That would drive me BANANAS! I am the kinda pregnant lady that once that babies out, I don't even want help from the nurses! ha ha Love you guys and your mom! Hope you are doing well, lets get together for lunch sometime! Axel has afternoon preschool too, so maybe even a morning playdate would be fun, I bet Ash would be on board as well!
SupaFlowaPowa says
Same. I had to eat pig's feet, fish soup, black chicken soup, etc. and since I'm not in LA where my mom is now.. she mails it to me through this really expensive premium Chinese place hahahaha. I usually don't try to do much for the first month out of respect for my mom's wishes and partly because I'm a lil afraid of what might happen if I don't listen and get in trouble… but I go out a few times… and just don't tell her about it! HA! My mom says Asians are weaker – but I"m not petite like most Asians – am quite tall, so then I argue with her but she tells me white girls are more strong. HA
Vmommyx4 says
I'm hispanic and my mother and mother in law had many of the same mandates, cultures differences regarding food to be kept in mind here. My mother in law came to my home every day for 2 weeks after the birth of my last two children, my mother worked and would come in the after noon for a visit. My mother in law cleaned, cooked, laundry, everything. I was to lay in bed and rest or sit and hold the baby or just relax. They said my body was "wide open" after giving birth and I had to remember this and not do anything strenuous. It was wonderful. I felt so rested after those births.
sarah tyau says
Mothers are so great, aren't they? And wow, good luck, hope you are doing well! Congrats on your new baby!
sarah tyau says
Glad you enjoyed the post!
sarah tyau says
That is interesting that US is the only one! It'll be an interesting topic to look into for sure!
sarah tyau says
Korea is no bath for one month too. but I don't know anyone who follows that rule these days! And I've heard about all those foods from my Chinese friends, so interesting!
sarah tyau says
You should listen! Mothers really know best. π even though yes, some are so extreme, but I think there's truth to all of them.
sarah tyau says
Thanks Cami! Hope you are well!
sarah tyau says
Oh, ppl bringing dinners are the best! And thank you!
sarah tyau says
Oh my, bless you with twins! And what a wonderful MIL you have! And a hat? that is so interesting, I wondering the reasoning behind that!
sarah tyau says
I bet she did, you should ask her! And what? oh no! I'm so sorry!
sarah tyau says
Thank you for commenting!
sarah tyau says
Oh no, hope you are recovering well! our babies are only 5 days apart! Congratulations!!!
sarah tyau says
Haha, never heard that korean saying before! And yes, I love our mom too. She is pretty great!
sarah tyau says
Haha, good luck when you actually have the baby if they're already lecturing you! ;D
sarah tyau says
Yes, those hotels sound so amazing, don't they? And hope you got some more help after the hospital!
sarah tyau says
Interesting! I thought it was just a Korean thing. Maybe there's some logic and truth into it!
sarah tyau says
Oh my, sounds like Korea! Thanks for sharing about your culture!
sarah tyau says
Haha, why wouldn't you want help from even the nurses? More help, the better I say! π And yes, let's plan on one, I'll call you!
sarah tyau says
Oh wow, didn't know there was such thing where you can order and ship! And yeah the petite thing, I think they mean height and size, like being skinny. And you are skinny so listen to your mother! π
sarah tyau says
What a lovely MIL you have! Thanks for sharing about your culture!
Madhavi says
Interesting!! In Indian culture too we are not suppose to eat anything cold and also wear warm clothes. And not go out in cold. It is so much similar.