Count yourself lucky that you weren’t around this grumpy mama yesterday. It’s funny how you are doing so well, feeling like you’re doing pretty well with this whole motherhood thing, when it smacks you in the head and you realize, you are burned out to a crisp.
After a long, long day, well, more like a long several months of filling everyone else’s canteen except for mine, I wanted nothing but peace and quiet, to relax and just be alone in my own home. But that wasn’t possible, and I finally lost it when we were eating dinner and Jay had stepped out for a short while and the girls got in a fight. I sat at the dinner table yelling, “I just want to eat dinner in peace for 5 minutes, is that too much to ask? I can’t eat, I can’t sleep, I can’t cook, I can’t clean, I can’t poo, I can’t do anything without getting interrupted!!! Someone always wants me to fix something, get something, refill something, reach something, wipe something, clean something, go do this, go do that, or get in a fight, or wants my constant attention, AHHHH, this is too much!!! I just want peace for 5 minutes, without anybody asking me to do something for them!!!” After I whined like a little girl, I plopped on the ground and cried like one too. Then my two girls came and hugged me and cried with me. Then Jay came and wrapped his huge arms around all three of us and cried sarcastically and mockingly, which then made me laugh for a short while, but then I quickly resumed back to my crying episode one, and two. Three might happen any minute, yo better hide yo kids!
All three of them left me alone the rest of the night(well, not really, the girls kept coming to me saying, “mommy, look! mommy, can you…” then I hear Jay in the background, “girls, come here! don’t talk to mom right now!”…smart guy), but I’m still burned out, I just can’t shake it off! I’ve been telling Jay that he should take the girls on a weekend camping trip while I stay at home all by myself(honestly, no other vacation sounds better than for me to stay all alone at my house, is that weird?), so maybe after my episode last night, he’ll really take me up on it? (hint, hint, eh hem, cough cough!)
What do you do when you feel burned out?
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MyLyn says
I hear you! I honestly don't know how families with more than two kids manage it. You ARE doing great though. I talked to my own mother about how I wish I was more patient like her when we were kids and she laughed at me and said, "well, I'm glad that's what YOU remember!" We all get burnt out every once in awhile. Moms have very hard jobs that's for sure!
Talitha says
I almost lost it at work today, I've had problems trying to finalise a big account and other people involved were not agreeing to things so all my hard work was for nothing. I was ready to pack it in and say – that's it I quit…and go home and crawl into bed and just cry. And I don't even have kids to look after! Crimeny!!
But then my hubby talked to me and offered me a massage making me feel better, but I understand just wanting time to yourself. Which is what I am doing now, closed in my computer room, just my own thoughts and browsing online.
I hope you feel better, and try to put aside some mummy time for yourself, even if it is only 30min – 1 hr. Get your favourite book and get your hubby to keep the girls occupied for a little while.
Good luck!
Talitha xx
Jodi Ann says
I had the exact kind of day you had. Yesterday I said in bed and cried like a little girl and couldn't figure out why I felt so upset…then it hit me. I am burned out. Isn't it so weird how you're going along and everything is great and all of a sudden it hits you? I'm with you, a vacation at home sounds perfect! I hope you get some "me time" soon and recharge.
Jola says
I hope you're getting better soon! At the moment, I'm burned out because of all the tests we're writing. University… All I try is to go on, have it done and then relax. In August… After all the exams… Maybe.
ThirstyGirl says
is it possible for you get a MDO (mom's day out) time slotted for them once a week. If you even have half a day once a week to yourself, you feel like a human.
If not, can you arrange a babysitting swap with some friends where you give them a break and then they give you a break?
praying for you sweet girl.
Sarah says
Being home alone is hands down the best medicine for the overworked mamma. Works for me every time π Just remember you're not the only one walking in those shoes! Sarah @ dwellonjoy.com
Hannah says
Cry and eat ice cream. And then, I take the evening off to go shopping with a friend. I tell you what though, if my hubby would take the kids camping for a weekend and I could stay home alone…. bliss!!! I hear you. I have 4 boys. π
ReStitch Me says
No one momma 'does it all' without burning out and feeling incredibly overwhelmed. I'm on the tail end of raising 5 (less than 7 years apart, oldest to youngest) and there are still days that I crash and burn. Try to get a good nights rest–things look better in the morning–and try and get some 'me' time. π
Susan Chesney says
Hear you loud and clear, sister. I just had one of those meltdowns recently. Took the kids (2 toddlers) on a 13 hour trans Pacific flight by myself + jet lag (3 fully sleepless nights). The camel's back broke. Can't wait til my youngest is old enough to go camping with Daddy. You look amazing, and find time to maintain a creative blog. Cheers to you!
sarah says
Girls weekend with friends…no kids, no husbands π
Hambergoosa says
love your comment!
Hambergoosa says
Exactly what I needed to read! Gonna show this to my husband so he understands it's not just me!
Sam Adams says
He should send you on a vacation alone! Come to LA and I'll take you around! We can roam the fashion district in peace! The hubs took me this weekend but it's was impossible to really enjoy myself when I'm worried about how he's managing with our son running around the stores. We need some mama only time!
tina says
i know your not supposed to use tv as a babysitter, but when our boys were little and i was at the point of losing my mind, i would pop in one of their favorite videos! they would not leave the tv for 30 minutes straight! and then i could get myself together. and i kept some of those videos just for that purpose, so they werent seeing them all the time. my boys are teenagers now, and i get alone time. and let me tell you—its wonderful!!! your day is coming!:)
gabriellekamalei says
I don't have any tips on avoiding burnout (not a mama either, sooo), but I just wanted to say I always appreciate how you don't sugar coat anything on your blog. You're the only blogger I follow who I truly believe always keeps it real on their blog, and I thank you for that. I'm sending prayers your way for a little (or a lotta) relaxation!!!
Pearl says
Sarah, I hear you..I would love for David to take the girls on a weekend trip somewhere. Sometimes when I come home from work on a Friday night and the lights are out, I secretly wish nobody's home cause David sometimes takes the girls to his mom's house on Fridays. But then when the house is truly empty, all I want is to see my girls. aww.. the joys of motherhood. But what really rejuvenates my mood is to go out with girl friends for a dinner or have a girls night conversation (after 10pm after the kids are asleep) and just vent. it never fails to lift my mood and get the extra boost I need. Of course I always say working is so much easier than staying at home but I always feel pulled in every direction. I feel I'm not giving my all at work and I'm missing out on my girls' growing up cause I'm not there during the day. I guess it's always about trying to find that balance… love ya!!
Sarah says
That's true, I never remember my mom yelling at me or getting impatient, but maybe I just don't remember? I really hope that's how it'll be with our kids! π I also don't know how people handle more than two kids, so much respect to them. Thanks for your comment!
Sarah says
Oh, sorry you had a bad day at work! I'm sure work gets really hard and stressful too! And what a wonderful husband you have. π
Sarah says
Sounds like you and I just stole the words out of both of our mouths. π i hope you are better. Thanks for your comment!
Sarah says
Aw, I do not miss school! π Make sure to do something fun in between all the tests!
Sarah says
I've been trying to find someone to do a babysitting swap with me, but no luck yet. But yes, both are such good ideas! Thank you for your comment.
Sarah says
Thank you for the reminder! It does make me feel better knowing every mother goes through it. π
kimmie says
I know exactly how you feel! The other day I was yelling at my 1-month old because she would not stop crying (ahhhhh!!! Stop crying!!!!!) and I was just so frustrated and tired with the combination of a newborn and 3 year old. My son came up to me and told me that baby sister doesn't understand yet. Totally cracked me up and made things slightly better π but a nice quiet time away from he kids works wonders too.
Sarah says
I need to follow that advice, exactly! And wow, 4 boys? My hat off to you!
Sarah says
So much respect to you for raising 5 children, I can't imagine! Thank you for your advice!
Sarah says
Wow, yeah, that's so difficult to fly alone that long with two toddlers! Ipad is a lifesaver for us for trips. π And thank you so much for your sweet words!
Sarah says
I SOOOOO need that. Thank you for your comment!
Sarah says
Yes, husbands can't fully understand our burnt out moments. No one will ever know unless you're a mother. Thanks for your comment!
Sarah says
Fashion district sounds so great! And yeah, if you go there, you definitely can't go with your kid even if someone's watching them, you can't fully concentrate! π
Sarah says
That is a great idea. And I use tv as a babysitter sometimes like when I'm sick or the girls are sick! And teenagers? I hear they're harder! π
Sarah says
Oh, your words mean a lot to me, thank you! I've never been good at faking things, so I can't do that on the blog either haha. Thank you for reading my blog!
Sarah says
Unni, oh, how I wish we lived close so we can put the kids to sleep and meet up at one of our homes to watch a movie and eat ice-cream together! π And I realized, I haven't had any girls night for a LONG time, it's always been with the kids lately. I love you!
Sarah says
Hahaha, what an adorable and smart son you have! π And a newborn and a toddler boy? Yes, that would be so hard! Thank you for your comment!
Dahlia Nursery Bedding and Decor says
What do i do when i feel burned out? I drop the baby on the hubby! No is not an option! Lol then i go to bed at 8 pm and sleep 10 hrs!
Melissa Stringham says
Thanks for this and for being honest. I am pretty sue other bloggers sugar coat their lives, but when they do it still makes me feel like a failure. I am 30wk pregnant and the hormones are making me feel even more impatient and grumpy wi my 4 and 2 yo. I feel so guilty! Anyway, thanks for being honest and letting me know I am not alone.
Sarah says
Haha so true! When I tell my husband to go somewhere with the kids, he knows he has no choice but to leave asap with the kids. π 10 hours of sleep sounds divine!
Sarah says
Same here, when other bloggers only post the happy stuff, it's easy to think they only have happy days, but their lives suck sometimes too just like EVERYONE. And wow, pregnant and 2 toddlers. Of course that's so hard, I can't imagine! Thank you so much for your comment. Best wishes with your pregnancy and labor and having three children! Much respect to you.
tin says
is adi the one in the middle? her face is great haha
well, ladies, i'm far away from your reality. i'm just a 26-years-old who recently moved out with her boyfriend. no kids to attend, even though he seems a lot like a kid sometimes ("TIN, WHERE IS IT?! I'VE BEEN LOOKING FOR IT FOR THE LAST 10'! WHERE?!" "… there." 1m away from his face. lord give me patience), but yeah, i get burn out sometimes. i just say "i f*ck it, i'm done with this", give myself a little break, and just stop listening to anyone beyond myself haha
i guess he knows that's one step before seriously exploding, so he stops doing things that annoys me (ie, leave the kitchen in a total mess right after i cleaned it) and cuddles me, and then we're back to normal.
and just like melissa, thanks for this and for being honest. other bloggers do sugar coat their lives and makes me feel like a failure. so thanks for the sincerity.