have you ever read the book men are from mars and women are from venus?ο»Ώ well, it’s an interesting book with many stereotypes(but i guess you can’t talk about every single case so you do have to direct it to the general) and i know there are always exceptions, but there’s a lot of truth in it in some cases for me and my husband.
for example, it’s been awhile since i briefly skimmed it, but there’s one part that goes something like this.
wife after coming home from work: “ugh, i had a terrible day at work.”
husband: “why? what happened?”
wife: ” i can’t stand my boss. she is so bossy, condescending, blah blah blah….”
husband: “just quit your job then.”
wife: “……wait, what?”
husband: “if you hate your boss, then just quit your job!”
wife: “that’s not what i’m saying…”
wife gets even more frustrated than before and just leaves while the husband is confused and has no idea why she’s mad at him.
well, that’s me and my husband for ya. my husband and i just had this conversation today.
me: “i haven’t really enjoyed blogging for the past few weeks. i just feel like no one really reads my blog. in the beginning when i started blogging and only my friends and family read it, i had way more comments that i do now! and then i see other blogs who have around the same amount of readers as me or a lot less, and they get way more comments! i mean, not that i blog just to get comments, but i just feel like no one reads or cares for my blog! i put a lot of time and effort into my blog, especially when posting my sewing tutorials and i know other blogs who put a lot of time into theirs and offer their readers recipes/craft/sewing/fashion/photography tutorials and they don’t get much comments either, so it’s a little discouraging when i see blogs who post like two pictures and two sentences about going to go get ice-cream and they get like 100 comments of something like, “oh my gosh, i love ice-cream too!!!” and i’m thinking, really? seriously?”
husband: “then stop blogging then!”
me: “i can’t, i have sponsors…”
husband: “just get rid of them and just stop blogging!”
me: “uh…. jay, i’m just trying to vent, i’m just trying to say…. ugh, never mind.”
husband: “i’m just saying, no one cares about stupid blogs.”
………..
one thing i learned on my mission, when you had to be with your companion for 24/7 and always had to be in a sight and hearing distance, is that when two people truly love each other and they’re both genuinely good people, and you happen to get offended by another, you have to remember that the other person never intentionally tried to hurt you and it’s a big misunderstanding.
so even though my husband sounds like a jerk(at least in my ears haha), he is genuinely trying to help me with the best intention in his mind. but it’s hard to remember at the moment when i’m frustrated because i’m not looking for him to solve the problem, i just want someone to understand and validate my feelings. you ladies understand, right?
but oh husband, i’m so, so grateful that you definitely make it up plus much more in other areas. and i wouldn’t want to have these kind of conversations with anyone else but you. π
K Blue says
Oh, I totally needed this post right now. It's so true! Sometimes, I just need to whine or vent, and Hubby will say something that sounds crazy and insensitive… And in my heart I know he doesn't mean to sound that way and that he really loves me. But while in the moment, I just want to scream. It's funny how boys and girls are so different! It really is a blessing even if it seems exasperating at times. :).
Bless by Tone says
so true!
Sewing Princess says
What you experience is totally normal. Men and women approach the world and problems differently. Hubs tries to find a solution to your problem, women sometime just need to talk over and over about the same issues. Men don't see it like that. That's why there is often a clash. Don't take it personally. And don't compete with other bloggers. Think about why you blog, what you want to achieve and concentrate on that. Hope it helps
Nicole says
I think I'm from Mars and my husband is from Venus. We would have very similar conversations, but I would be the one saying 'Just quit your job' or 'Just stop blogging' while my husband is telling me he just wanted to vent.
As for the no comments or little comments thing, I wouldn't let that get to you. If you enjoy blogging and the things you post about, then that is the best thing. I don't have many followers, so when I do have a comment or two, I think of them as special bonuses to the whole blogging thing. π
Anna Camacho says
My husband and I have definitely had this misunderstanding! It's helped us a lot for me to say at the beginning, "I just really need you to listen right now" or "I don't need you to fix this, just to listen" or something along those lines… Reading "The Five Love Languages" was super helpful, too. It applies to all relationships, really – I "got" my dad a lot better after reading it.
Fraulein To You!!! says
It's so true with me too! He's always trying to fix the problem when I really just want him to agree and fuel my venting for a bit.
Derek and Amanda says
So true! Haha. About blogging…I want you to know that you are my biggest inspiration! When I see you have updated, I get so excited. I am so bad at commenting, especially when it's a big blog cause I assume they'll have a million others. But when I think about how much I love comments too, it changes my mind. So thank you for the reminder that comments mean a lot to everyone! Sometimes I forget that famous amazing bloggers have blog feelings and worries too :p you're incredible. PLEASE don't stop blogging! You are my inspiration! I've shared you with so many people!
Beauboy says
Know that even though you may not get hundreds of comments, people are reading your blog. This is one of my "favorites" because I love to copy your sewing adventures. I too understand the simple-minded husband that thinks there is an easy solution to life. Hang in there!
Chelsey Hancock says
Thanks for your positive attitude, and please keep blogging! I love seeing your creative ideas!
euphoricgirl says
don't stop blogging! this is my second time to comment, and i'm gonna comment more so it makes you happy. π
i hope you open the comments to other users too. i don't have live journal, wordpress or aim account. i'm forced to use my google account to comment.
rainydazeee
Emily says
I just wanted to let you know that I love your blog too. I love stories and tutorials you share. You always sound so genuine and never fake. I feel like I can relate to you… except for your genius in refashioning. I'm not a very good commenter (even though I understand how fun and reassuring it is to receive them.) We always seem to have problems with our internet, so I'll open like 20 windows at a time and by the time I get to reading them our internet isn't working, so I can't comment.
I agree, there are probably tons of people who enjoy reading your blog, but just don't comment. I understand you're just venting, but please keep blogging π
Alyssa says
You & your husband are so cute & I love your blog! Please dont stop! I'm always sneaking to read your blog during work so I never get to comment, but I always read it regularly. Keep the posts coming! <3
Jil ~ says
I've never left a comment on your blog, but it's one that I read all of the time. It's cute and so is
your family! I just never feel like I have anything to say that other's would want to read.
Keep up the great work on your blog and know that if you say something to Jay – He just loves you and wants to fix it so you'll be happy!!
{jen} iCandyhandmade says
I'm a lurker too…love your blog and seeing all of your projects!
{jen} iCandyhandmade says
I'm a lurker too…love your blog and seeing all of your projects!
Fancy Matter says
I've totally been there. Sometimes we just want someone to listen and not talk back. I am starting in the blog world too and it can be tiring to come up with posts and feel they are falling on silent ears and blind eyes. Keep your head up. We all have our moments. π
Pearl says
Sarah, please don't get discouraged because you don't have as many comments as you like.. i know of at least 3 friends of mine who you have never met that love to follow your blog and read it..I know they don't like to comment cause they think it's weird that you don't even know them.. but they mention to me that they love following your blog.. π
Paulette, Jvona & Rachel says
Have you seen how many times your stuff ends up in Pinterest? People ARE reading your blog every day, and loving your stuff. You have sponsors. That means that you're sucessful.
It's nice to read about someone who has a life like mine. Full of kids, crafting, homemaking, and religion. I love reading about your thoughts, struggles and triumphs. And having your blog as an outlet is perfect for you. Cheaper than a therapist! So, while I may not leave comments all that often, just know that I care, and there are a lot of other busy moms out there just like me. Thanks for being an inspiration.
-Paulette
3sisters-pjr.blogspot.com
Leah says
I think your husband sounds awesome, and I wouldn't put too much stock in the comment counts. π
P.S. My husband is from Mars, as well.
Kelly says
oh my gosh, i love ice cream too! π
haha just kidding. but seriously, you DO have readers! i've enjoyed your blog for quite some time. even posts that seem uninteresting to you are interesting to everyone else π
cgarfield says
I have felt the exact same way lately with my blog. I feel like no one reads it, but I have to remind myself that I blog for myself. I will thank myself someday for documenting my life, it will be so fun to look back and see! You have a lot of readers who look up to you, so keep on blogging!
Amy says
I read your blog all the time, but you blog a lot more and it is hard to keep up and comment on them all. I comment mostly on the family ones because that's why I read it, but I do love seeing your creative work, and maybe one day when I have time I will look up one of your tutorials and comment! love you hope we can get together soon!
Kory is always trying to solve my problems too haha
Kory says
That's funny that Amy said that, because before I read her comment I was thinking: "Since we're on the subject, why do women bring up a problem if they aren't looking for an answer?". Seriously, why? So, when you read that question, are you thinking, "oh, he's just needs someone to talk to", or would you want to answer the question? I just don't understand.
Paula says
Don't stop blogging! I love your blog. Your tutorials are great and I always 'star' them in Google reader for later reference. I don't comment on your family posts because I feel that I don't have advice or insight to offer. And I will admit, I am more likely to comment when the posts are short with pictures in them. You're doing great. I was a little hurt (for you) when your husband said "stupid blogs." That's really mean and disrespectful.
Leanne says
I love your blog, but because I don't have a blog I feel weird commenting. But I read every post and I think your family is just too cute! Guys are just dumb sometimes…My husband is the same way even after 5 kids and being married almost 11 years! I love that you went on a mission! That is just awesome.
Caroline says
I tell my husband all the time:
"I just need to vent. I don't need you to FIX anything. Just listen. Smile & nod." π
PS…Your blog is the blog I click on first when I check the ones I follow. You are an amazing mother and wife. (Just so you know!) π
dee says
i love your blog!!!! dont stop writing plz =] me and my boyfriend always go thru these kinds of conversation but i guess we get thru them lol
chiquita banana says
i read your blog! i had bought a sewing machine years ago so i could do refashions and I never even opened it and doing refashions by hand takes so long that i would always give up BUT then i saw your blog on pinterest and it inspired me to whip out the sewing machine! and now i'm actively sewing away! i love it! and i love your refashions! i love the anhtro jcrew style so much but have a hard time paying that much money for their clothes because most of the time, i KNOW i can just make it myself but i've been too lazy to do it, but your blog really inspired me to get started on the refashions!
offsquare says
Just want you to know I LOVE YOUR BLOG!! I don't comment much, but I'm addicted to you! Please don't stop. I love your openness/ honesty, the tutorials and your fashion sense. The mummy in me needs you as much as the sewer in me!
Brecken-Master Aesthetician says
i know exactly how you feel, I dont think anyone reads my blog. π I love yours and that you update all the time with your cute family, style and sewing projects I adore!
harmony says
Classic Jay…maybe it's a Laie thing AS WELL as a mars/venus thing. lol, jk!
and even though I don't always have time to read your blog, I do always enjoy it when I do get a chance! keep it up, girl – you're awesome!
Tell Jay he's killin me.
Lisa Davis says
Wow, you got plenty of comments on this one. Keep blogging…
sometimes people are silently enjoying π
Sarah Lunt says
K, I LOVE your blog – from refashions, to family events, to vents, it's all good! Second, you must be one of the most *Pinned* blogs on Pinterest, so please don't get discouraged. I think discouragement is one of Satan's greatest tools against the truly gifted…so don't give in!
montanachic says
Why can't they understand that sometimes we just need someone to listen. My husband is the same and I still love him too.
Manic Insomniac says
Sarah, I love your blog, I "check in" nearly everyday to see if you've posted anything new, I love that you are so real, and you talk about real things, real life, the good, the bad and the ugly. You have helped me realize that I'm not alone in feeling like things are out of control and like I just can't catch my breath. Please keep blogging, people are so inspired by you.
Leigh says
Thank you for the reminder that bloggers appreciate comments! I need to stop lurking and speak up. Thanks for all the time and work you put into this. We appreciate it!!
Kristie K. says
I hear you! Just a note, i love reading your blog. Your family is adorable. I just don't get to read blogs as much as i use to.
Love it!!!Know that you are awesome!
A and H says
I read your blog! Really, I don't even know you or know how I came across your blog in the first place, but it's so refreshing to hear someone be genuine and real. So many bloggers have a 'perfect little housewife and mother' persona going on where all they talk about is their fabulous dinners they make, their fabulous decor, their fabulous life in general. Which I guess is fine for them, but I love reading a blog that has a balance of both. You have fabulous days, you have bad days, like EVERYONE does. Your blog posts are relatable, funny, and honest. I think we need more of that in the blogosphere.
Also, I partly check your blog to see what cute (and
modest!) new outfits you put together and alter. Keep
blogging, you have more people reading than you think!
π
-Heather
JULIE says
i love your blog. i check it at least once a week. i really admire your talents, honesty, and your cute family.
JULIE says
and — have you ever thought to go on PROJECT RUNWAY??? you should!!!
KaysCourage says
We never had misunderstandings as mission companions Sister Choi! Bahahaha….
syocom says
Hey, I love your blog.I get fashion tips from it or sewing tips. I think i saw you today and didn't get the chance to say hi. The person in question was in a green sweater with some brown boots. (very cute by the way). If it wasn't you I just wanted to say Hi anyway.
kanaboke says
I know you were just venting but whatever you do, Don't Stop Blogging!!! i won't have any wonderful things to Pin otherwise!!! π I love, love loooove your creativity and also your "Everyday Life" posts!!!
Sarah says
@Anna, I've heard a lot about that book, I am going to get it and make my husband read it with me! π
@Kory: you will never understand. hahaha
@Julie: I'm so happy you do! and oh my, i would totally get eliminated on the first round! I'm not that good of a seamstress. or a designer. but thank you for the compliment. π
@kays: hahaha, yes, never. π
@syocom: yes, it was me! you would see me at Joann's out of all places, right? say hi next time! π
thank you SO much for all your comments ladies. ya'll are the best. and people do read my blog after all, yay!!! π
<3
SupaFlowaPowa says
LOL…. you should get For All Eternity on cd by John Lund, he talks about this exact thing and is just amazingly helpful and inspirational. My hubs and I listened to it before we were married on recommendation of my father in law and the examples are hilarious and gives u a finer appreciation for how to communicate. You just have to say this is a problem I want you to listen and empathize with, not solve cuz men just love solving problems! My favorite example from his cd is how women apply comments to themselves so if a guy says thats a nice red dress, we think…. do you want me to wear a red dress? do i not look good in a red dress or why r u checking that girl out!!
Asle says
I understand you, it is frustrating, i just gave up telling my thinkings, my problems or anything to my husband, is terribly sad and unfair but is a fact, and with age get worse. In the other side when I comment the same things to a girlfriend the feedback is so diferent why is that??? I don't know why a girlfriend understand me better ? Nevertheless when I don't say anything he seems to miss my stories, my thinkings etc… π
wem9876pt says
I love your blog! I just don't comment much. I love it when you post your sewing adventures!