our weekend was busy and fun. these two girls from korea stayed at my mom’s house for 3 days while their parents were at a conference. and knowing my mom and how she’s a total homebody and doesn’t like to drive, i knew the girls would just sit at my mom’s house all day for 3 days. this was their first time visiting the united states so i couldn’t let that happen so i made sure to take them around.
took them shopping and bought them some “cool american clothes”
which according to the girls are GAP and Levi’s jeans.
aren’t they cute?
went night bowling + arcade games
the girls got to stay up a little later
went to the beach resort which was actually very disappointing
and i still feel bad for the older girls because they were bored.
but i do love this picture of adalie on the far right.
me trying to take pictures with adi but failing twice
since she runs away the moment the picture’s being taken
since she runs away the moment the picture’s being taken
the girls were so fun and i loved their age(14 and 8). i’m excited for my two girls to get older so i can take them shopping and talk about life and boys and such. which reminds me, jay and i’ve been talking about whether or not to try to have a baby soon. two kids are so manageable and perfect if i only think for myself but thinking of my kids, i think they would want more siblings. i think big families are fun and families i’ve talked to that only have 2 kids have told me they wished they had more kids and how empty and small it feels. but maybe there are some out there that absolutely loved it and i just haven’t found them yet. and it’s either have baby(ies) now or to wait when you’ve adjusted to the comfortable life of 2 older kids and start over with the whole pregnancy/breastfeeding/toddler/diaper stage and having to readjust to that again, or have all the kids be fairly close in age instead of having a huge age gap where it’ll be hard to accomodate family activites/vacations that everyone can enjoy, having the kids have a closer relationship by having them all close in age, oh i’m just babbling on now and don’t know if i’m making any sense.
so i wanted to ask 3 questions.
1. those of you who have 2 children or those of you that only have one other sibling, do you wish you had more kids/more siblings? or are you perfectly happy with two kids/having one other sibling?
2. do you think in your opinion it’s better to pop out the kids fast and then be done with the infant/toddler stage and have all the kids be close in age, or to wait a few more years, take a little break and then have two more kids close in age and start over with the whole pregnancy/infant stage?
3. how many kids are in your family and do you wish it was any different?
Janelle says
My opinion on number 2: I think I would prefer them a little farther apart… like 3-4 years apart. I only have 1 daughter now, and she's only 1 year old. Aside from economical reasons (like having them a few years apart for when they get to college because in my country, parents pay for college, lucky kids, haha), I kinda want my daughter to bask in her baby/toddler-hood for a while before she takes on the role of big sister π Plus, if I wait a few more years, like if she's 3 or 4 years old when we have another baby… she would be in school a few hours each day by then. So that should give me a few hours to focus all of my attention on the new baby… the way I do now with my daughter. So in a way, they get a fair deal when it comes to my attention, haha.
Chic 'n Cheap Living says
Aww it looks like everyone had fun!
Hmm I don't have kids yet but I think I would want a "medium" age gap between them – perhaps 2-4 years.
They could still be somewhat close in age though one would definitely take on the older sibling.
xoxo,
Chic 'n Cheap Living
Brigitte says
I'm the oldest of 6 kids, and as a family we get along okay. now that I'm out of the house and married and then #2 is away at college, #3 is only home on weekends, #4 is in High School, #5 in her last year of Elementary School and #6 is starting kindergarden next year, there is a big variety in ages and gap sizes, from 2 years to 11 months to 7 years, in all there are 16 years between the oldest (me) and the youngest. We all get along okay (as much as siblings can?) but we have stronger bonds with one or two sibblings vs. all together. An other thing to consider is your age, my mother was 43 when she had my last sibling and my dad 45, so they became "new parents" and had to do the whole baby-toddler experience in their late forties, with a lot less energy but with the help of us older sibblings. All in all, would I wish for a different family situation, no. π maybe at times when I was going through my teen years stuck babysitting (lol) but we are a family, designed and put together – custom order – from God. And how He chose to bless my parents was fit for them/us.
Esther@fleurcottage says
i come from a family of 12. kids were everywhere growing up but as adults (we're in our 50-60 ages now) we LOVE being together! i had 4 kids by the time i was 27 w/a 5 yr gap between #4&5 & i wouldn't trade it for ANYTHING now except maybe have #6 w/in 2 yrs of #5! π we've got 16 grands now.
LadyBug says
Adoro o seu blog!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Alicia says
I'm one of three – my sister is 4 years older, and my brother is 6 years younger. I absolutely love it and would not change a thing. We're very close and have been able to learn from/teach other so much. Plus, my little brother keeps my parents young! I think they'd be sad if we'd all left for college at once. It's a great range of ages and I plan on having the same kind of family.
Jenna says
I only have one other sibling – a sister who is about a year and a half younger than I am. I've never wished for more siblings. Sometimes I feel like having only 1 sister has allowed us to be closer and have a more unique relationship than some of my friends who have several siblings!
Kimie says
In my opinion, if you are going to have another one, just do it. Let the kids be closer in age so they can play together and enjoy the same things, not just the younger siblings always pestering the older. But then I can't imagine starting over in the baby stage again. My youngest (we have 3) will be 4 this year and soon all of them will be at school and the thought of having a newborn again thrown into the middle of that is overwhelming. I like where we are now, moving onto the next stage of life where we can do more/different things as a family as the kids all get older. As far as how many to have, that really has to be up to you guys. Sometimes 2 is perfect for a family, sometimes 5 is. Just be the best parents you can to whatever number you end up with and I doubt the finally tally really matters all that much.
Meg says
I am the youngest and the only girl. I have two older brothers that are 8 and 9 years older than me. I loved it and never thought it was strange growing up. They were my protectors and they taught me all kinds of things. Come to think of it, they were the ones that perfected my two-wheel bike riding, my tree climbing, and my swimming skills (my parents both worked full time). However, as my husband and I talk about having children, we talk about doing it totally differently. Whatever way it happens, it will work for your family. π
Emily says
Both Rob and I only have one sibling. We both always wished we had more, and I know that I was always jealous of my cousins who had lots of siblings close together because they were able to play so much… What a big decision! Good luck!
Carrie Taylor says
I am the youngest of 5 and we are all pretty close in age. It was fun growing up and always having someone there. I love my siblings and although it was tough at times for all of us it was great in the long run since we are pretty close now. My husband only has one sister which is good for them but at times he wishes he had someone else. We have 2 boys so far and they are 2 and 4(almost 5) and one due this fall. I think to myself that 2 is enough but that isn't fair to the boys who want more siblings, and not fair to those spirits waiting to come down. I say pray about it. I felt very strongly that we should have another baby and with hubby home and out of the navy the time is perfect. So trust yourself and Heavenly Father will let you know when it is right.
me says
i am the 2nd oldest of 7 kids. the youngest is 19 yrs younger than me. it's sad, i don't really know her. she was so young when i got married and moved out, so we don't really have a relationship. BUT, on the other hand, the first 5 children, my mother had within 2-3 years of each other, and we are all very close. it was nice to always have someone there to play with. but, since there were so many of us, we never really got one on one time with mom or dad.
now that my husband and i have 2 girls, i feel like our family is complete. maybe it's just my father in Heaven helping me feel that way since medically it wouldn't be possible (or smart)for me to have more.
my only advice if you have more, is to have them closer together. that's just my opinion.
good luck with this BIG decision!
Des Dana
p.s.
you're adorable.
p.p.s.
the resort is kind of a let down for older kids, i think. but my little ones LOVED it.
Lynne says
I have 3 kids ages 14 (boy), 11 (girl) & 6 to be 7 in June (girl). I purposely spaced my 3rd the way I did, but if I could go back I would have her closer to her older sister. I refer to them as the older kids and she's the little girl. She wants so much to be included with them, but she bugs them (in their opinion). Wish they were closer in age!
syocom says
Thanks for the tip about the Bouji Market. I went and loved it.
I have been doing so research about spacing kids I wish I could remember the article but. They say the first two are ok to have somewhat close together. But For the third the mothers body need to replenish it self. I think they said 3-4 years wait till the next kid. If not they have a significantly higher chance of autism. There are 4 years between all of us kids (there are 3 total) and we liked it that way. It also was planned that way for when we all went to college mom wasn't paying two tuitions at once.
indywriter says
I had only one sibling (an older brother). I always begged for a little sister. I'm fine with "just" having a brother now that we are grown up.
My husband and I have two girls and there is a 4.5ish year gap between them. Sometimes it would be nice if their ages (and therefore interests) were closer together, but my oldest (now 10) got to be an only child for quite a while and now the youngest (now 5) has to share, but not as much as if they were closer in age.
My youngest is a determined mommy's girl. For her shy personality, it has been good for her to be the baby this long. If she had a younger sibling to contend with, I don't know if she would have thrived as much. She loves babies, but she always loved for them to go home after a while.
I contemplate a third child, but I can't decide.
Kelly says
i dont have kids yet, but i grew up in a family with 4 kids. my siblings and i were all about 2.5 years apart and it actually worked really well. we still had fun with each other when we were younger. now that we're (mostly) grown up, we are all best friends! i personally think that having siblings 2 or 3 years apart is about the same as 1 year apart. i think if siblings were 4 or more years apart it might be different. who knows!
Pearl Girl says
well you are probably going to get all kinds of answers on this one, no one can say what is right for you and your family, and since I know you are LDS. I can say… the only way you will know is to pray and then pray some more. I wouldn't recommend a huge gap like I had. I am the youngest of 6 which is great, but there is such a big gap between me and the other 5, it makes us a little less close than I would like to be. Then I did that with my own children (some things you can't control) so I had a baby for 5 years then another baby, and now I have 2 kids who act like they are the baby. They are both so demanding its really hard.
Good luck with your decision.
Laura says
I am #3 or 4 and we are all pretty spread out. My oldest brother is 15 years older, older sister is 5 years older, and younger sister is 5 years older. I think it was a very heavy burden for my parents. They didn't particularly want us to be so spread apart. We all ended up growing up pretty seperately, almost as if we were all only children. I also feel like we have to constantly worry about my parents health because they are much older. My oldest brother has 3 kids who are all about 2 years apart and they are much closer and have more fun. I think you're a great mom and whatever you decide, it will be God's plan for you. π Good luck on your decision.
Mary says
I come from a family of four girls. My extended family is full of big families and I have over 40 first cousins…
I heart it.
I love having three sisters and I find that big families are less set in their ways, more open to change, and the kids are much better at resolving conflict.
My mom had my sister and I (13 months apart) when she was young and had my sisters (2 years apart from each other) 9 years later.
She said it was the best decision she ever made. The four of us are so close and in our little pairs, we have our best friends. I'm all for taking a break between kids because it gives the family more variety!
myicecreamloveaffair.blogspot.com
Fluffy says
I'm the youngest of 5. My first three sisters are one year apart and 11 years later my mom had her 4th, then one year later she had me.
I think if you decide to spread out the ages you should always have pairs that are closer in age (if you decide to have 4 kids that is). If I didn't have my 4th sister, I would've probably felt inferior to my 3 older sisters since they were able to do things together like going to college, hanging out with the same friends, going shopping for big girl clothes.
But then again, since my eldest sis is 12 years older she really took care of me when my parents were busy with work and she mentored me throughout my teenage years. Now that we're all grown up (my sisters in their early 30's and me & #4 in our early 20's) we all get along and hang out like best friends.
Sara says
All the advice or comment pale in comparison to he wisdom and peace that will come from fasting, praying and going to the temple to find your answer. The lord knows your capabilities and your needs and will guide you to do the right thing!!!!
On a side note, I care for my stepduaghter 8 and her two brothers 5, 3 and when I ahve all THREE its like Im running around likea crazy person but with two *any combo of two* its so much more manageable!!!
Mibi and Lee says
The above coment from "sara" was actually me…my firend was logged in on my computer:P Aloha, Mibi
Mibi and Lee says
I must be having a brain malfunction today cause just re read my comment…EDIT * ALL MY advice or comments pale in ocomparison * Not referring to other peoples commnets!!!
Morgan says
I have one sister who is seven years younger than me and I definitely, definitely, definitely wish I would have had more siblings and them closer in age. My sister and I were never at the age where we were interested in the same thing, played together, and hung out. Even now, she just turned 21 (and is a young 21 always being the baby of the family by so many years) and we're in completely different places in life.
Because of that I had my kids all close in age. I have four kids in five and half years. It's total craziness, but I love how well they play together (and fight, of course) and my prayer is that they'll always grow up being the best of friends.
Kory says
I'm #13 of 15. I LOVE having a big family. I wouldn't want it any other way. My next older brother is almost 5 years older and we got along really well for the most part. There's obviously a point where I was too little to run with him, but we managed pretty well. My sister only has 2 kids and thinks it's perfect for her. I'm not sure what her kids think.
Mandy says
Love your blog! I am from a family with only two kids and I only have two kids. My girls are 19 months apart and although it was awfully hard at first with 2 in diapers and such I am so glad I did it this way now…they are the best of friends. I know already that I will be sad about not having more later but sadly it is too late for us and also, as my husband points out (he came from a fam of 8) it is not only harder to provide for a bigger family but it is harder to go places and engage in activities that are interesting for all. If I were to do it again I would have 4 fairly close together. I can tell you that once you get out of that diaper stage it is really hard to want to go back. And I really really ache for a sister to be a built in best friend!
Brittany says
I don't know much about having 2 kids in a family, but I came from a family of 7 kids and I LOVED it. I had 6 big brothers, and now I have 6 amazing sister in laws too. My husband and I are thinking 3-5 kids, but who knows when it actually comes time…
featheredskull says
i think IT'S TIME!!!!!!!!!
featheredskull says
i think IT'S TIME!!!!!!!!!
Shasta says
I am the oldest of three, I didn't think about more sibs as a child. However, we are all over the map now and I wish I had another sib close to me.
I have 7 kids, four biological and three adopted. My oldest is almost 18, the 14,13,11,11,8 and 19 months. My caboose baby is sooo fun for the entire family. I totally recommend it :0). This is a big choice and one that no matter what you decide you'll question it at times. Here's my take…if you're great parents, can afford it, and have a healthy marriage then go for it! You'll never regret one more, but you may regret one less. Of course that's assuming you can truly meet another child's needs emotionally and physically.
I do think that 3 is a hard number, that is when you realize you have only two arms, eyes and two parents. Three was so much harder than 4,5,6 and even 7.
You'll figure it out and I have a feeling we will be welcoming another cutie patootie that looks somewhat like you :0)
Jessica says
I have one brother, and my home certainly never felt empty. I think my parents were very happy with the decision to only have two children, and my brother and are were very happy with one sibling. We are very close, and I have plenty of cousins that are practically siblings, but I only had to share my parents with one other person, and that was pretty awesome.
lakoczera says
My husband and I came from families with 4 and 5 kids. Now that we are all older, I love having so many people to hang out with. I wish they would all get married and have kids now so mine would have some cousins! That doesn't answer the questions, but now that I have two kids, my feelings as a grown up sibling make me wish they would have that too. If one of my kids moves away, the other one is alone. If someone doesn't have kids, there aren't many grandkids or cousins. So my feelings are the more the better, whenever! I have no idea if I can handle diapers or midnight feedings again, or if we could afford it, but I know I would never regret it! Now if I could just convince my husband…
Amy says
You know sarah, I think if you have enough love to give and the means to provide for them, you shouldn't put off having children. Had my mom waited to have her kids, she would only have had the 3 or maybe the 2 and not all 4, and she wouldn't have me π
And we all know how the world would be missing out on me if that was the case. I guess my point is I grew up with the mentality that kids are a blessing/miracle, and if the Lord gives them to you, you are one lucky lady.
This is something you and Jay just have to work out….
Megan says
Sarah, you probably have enough opinions on this but I think about it all the time. My mom had her sixth child (me) when she was 30! then she had one more when she was 34 and one more at 42–big span. She's always told me how she felt overwhelmed at moments but then things would calm down and she'd realize how much she wanted another baby. Her advice. . .always be open to more children but don't think you have to have it planned out.
Personally, I'm taking each baby one at a time and trying my best to enjoy every moment. I can tell you that Addie and Anna will be grownup before you know it. I remember thinking Noah would never go to kindergarten and we'd be in baby stage forever but now we're almost done with 3rd grade! You're a great mom, I'm sure you'll figure out what works best for you and Jay.
Kory says
I have to point out that at the bottom of your post, the 'You might also like:' suggestions are: The worst mother of the year, I'm burnt out, and do I want more kids? Kinda funny.
MyLyn says
We have 2 kids right now and for right now I like it. They are both very young still (2 kids under 2!) but once my youngest is 2 I think I'd like to have another. I found out I was pregnant with our 2nd just before my son's 1st birthday and was shocked and scared. I want a little more time inbetween the 3rd. If you don't mind the no sleep thing busting them out is a good option but I LOVE my sleep and need it so I need more time between. I wouldn't go more than 3 years though. After that it's no fun for them when they're older.
I grew up with an older sister and older brother. My brother was just old enough to be 2 grades ahead of me and I LOVED the years we were in school together. I would've liked to have had another sibling (we used to say it in our family prayers for years before finding out my mom couldn't have any more). I say go with what you feel is right for you!
Sisters of Grace says
I have a older brother and six younger sisters and I loooovvee it I wouldn't trade them for anything!
We are all fairly close in age. My sisters that is only tho years younger than me is my bestest friend!
Megan says
I'm 18 and one of two kids. I have always wished for more siblings because my brother and I are so different. Having at least one sibling is fabulous (especially at weddings and trips because there is automatically someone your age to hang out with) but I have friends who are one of three and there is always something fun going on. They all entertain each other, and if one sibling isn't home or is busy there are still two to hang out. Since I'm not speaking from the parent point of view, I guess you would have to ask some parents-of-three what having that many kids would mean for you!
Hope this helps π
Madeline says
I have 3 younger sisters and I wish I had more siblings! I Think that having kids that are close in age is really nice because then they are closer when they are younger as well as older!
~Madeline
http://www.flameinthedarkness.com
Alice says
I grew up with one younger sister, and then gained two more when my dad remarried when I was 19. I LOVED having just one sister; while we did fight A LOT when we were younger (But just because of a 5 year age difference), I'm super close to her, and I know I can always trust her. I don't have to worry about who to choose for my maid of honor, and I never had to choose between siblings. I do like having 3 sisters; but the other two are so much younger (6 and 9, and I'm nearly 21), so it's easier with that. That said, I'm sure having a third sibling would have been nice; it would have solved alot of arguments – however you run the risk of there being the child left out. That child doesn't have a parent that they can fully latch too without the "competition" of another child, and if the other two are very close, it can be easy to feel left out. Plus, the whole "middle child" thing – they're not the baby or the first born; it's a hard place to be put in. At the end of the day, as much as I love my two step sisters, I was perfectly happy with my one baby sister.
However, if you do want more kids, I am totally on the side of having all the kids be close in age – makes things SO much easier. Me and my sister get along SO much better now we're more in the same stage of life.
Just my two cents =)