It’s 9:20 pm. and I just spent the last hour and 20 mins. trying to put Adalie to sleep. I finally couldn’t just lie there waiting for her to fall asleep so I explained to her how she is a big girl now and she needs to learn to fall asleep by herself and how Ariana sleeps in her own room and she needs to do it too. I kissed her good night and walked out of the room. She is pounding on the door and crying as I type. I cannot spend 1 1/2 hrs. every night just lying next to her waiting for her to fall asleep before I sneak out ever so quietly anymore!!! Jay and I usually go to bed at 11 pm and we put the kids to sleep between 8-9 pm and what, that leaves us less than 2 hrs. to ourselves. We need our time with each other! UGH it’s our fault we started this horrible habit but it’s seriously time to stop after 2+ years. So any advice from you parents out there? What did you do with your child to help them fall asleep by themselves in their own bed? we just started sleeping on the same bed(Jay and I) about 2 months ago and before that, Jay slept with Adi and I slept with Ana. But in the middle of the night Adalie always wakes up and pounds on the door and cries and Jay ends up going downstairs to go back to sleep with her. So any advice on helping her to sleep by herself the whole night? Or is that too much to ask for a 2 yr. old? HELP!!!
Kayla R. says
UGH….sorry girl! I spent a couple nights right when I put her in a BIG GIRL bed just devoting to getting her to sleep in her bed by closing the door and if she comes out just putting her right back in her bed kissing her good might! She screamed for a long time BUT when she figured we didnt care as long as she was in the room she slowly just fell alseep!! it worked for us BUT every kids is different…GOOD LUCK girl:)
LeeRae says
Ugh I feel you…
Kaden still has a hard time and he's almost 3yr.old! We've tried letting him cry it out few times but every time he points to the window and tells us how scared he is. So we just end up having him sleep in our bed and move him to his bed or sleep together in his room and sneak out…either way I usually hear tiny foot-steps in the middle of the night and wake up next to him.
The Guirola-Uyema's says
ok, so first of all, it took me a LONG time to figure it out for my family. and now that we have it down i am soooo relaxed during bedtime.
they say that routine is key-i never believed it until i tried it. it works. here's how our nights go [and for as long as Isabel is old, we've NEVER had a fight from either one of them]:
first of all, they share a room-because we only have 2 bedrooms… but if i were to have more, i think i would still have them sleep in the same room. we explained to carlos that he needs to stay with isabel so that she can sleep better… that way he feels like he needs to protect her and feels included.
second, they both have a bedtime (and i warn carlos when it's approaching "carlos, isabel has gone to bed and now you have 30 minutes to stay up." "carlos, in 5 minutes we're going to brush your teeth" etc…
third, he helps me put isabel down… i nurse her and then he helps with her last diaper change and gives her a kiss goodnight-then he closes the door so that she can 'fall asleep before his bedtime'.
fourth, when it's time to go to bed, i read or tell him a story (he now prefers made-up ones cuz he can use his imagination)
once the story is over, we pray together. i then say… "okay, good night…" and before he can protest i ask "oh, would you like the door open or closed?" or "would you like your nightlight on or off?" his nightlight is christmas lights around the room, yearround
he answers the questions and i say ok and walk away… sometimes he will try to come out and i go up to him and say "carlos, if you come out i can't leave the door open for you" so you have to stay in your bed if you want the door open (or the lights on). you can only come out if you have to go shishi"…
oh, and one more thing… at first he would try and sneak to our room at night… so i explained to him that he had to stay in his room "until the sun comes up again". π
good luck!
The Guirola-Uyema's says
isabel is down in her crib by 9-915max each night and he sometime between 9:30-10
we go to bed late… π
Rachel Choi says
I don't know whoy ou are "the Guirola-Uyemma's" but you sound like the cutest mom! and what a great system. I'll keep it in mind for my future children π
Leo says
i second what jenny said. stick to a routine and be consistent. we started late with bray after him being a very colicky baby. since then we've just always been consistent with the girls and nights, for the most part, go very smoothly. i have three great sleepers and it makes for a much happier mommy. good luck.
Sarah says
thanks for the advice girls, I appreciate it! as for that night, adi only cried for 5 mins. n then fell asleep by herself. i was gonna stick with that routine but jay insists on putting her to sleep n waiting until she falls asleep. n i don't really mind cuz that way i get my 30 mins. of free time. π we're screwed for life aren't we?
The Guirola-Uyema's says
no, you aren't… trust me it will get better. π but then you'll have to do the same for ari π
5 minutes is great! way to go sarah… keep us posted on how it works out.
Mary says
oh sarah! i think we all go through this. two things worked for us. ROUTINE and CRYING IT OUT. the crying seems harsh at first, but really only takes a few days before it sticks. be strong!! it's soooo worth it in the end! you get your own time and the kids are happier because they're finally getting enough rest!
call me if she's crying and you're feeling pressured to go get her or lie with her. i'll talk you out of it. ha ha
Sarah says
thanks girls, I'm so glad you guys are all wonderful mothers so I can get good advice! ^^
Practically Spent says
Youch! What they learn is what they know. Although I am the one with an almost 3 year old who still can't put herself back to sleep if she wakes up (and she does sometimes), I say tough love. Start it off from the beginning with teaching them to sleep & soothe themselves. But I am the one who taught her that I would be there to help her back to sleep what with nursing so long. Oh well, it doesn't last forever.
Prior to the age of 3, sleep cycles can still be very light and there's no use fighting a child's physiology. That will change in time.
Good luck. I know right now it's really trying. Just be consistent.